In love with married coworker
Thread Closed 
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
25-05-2017, 07:39 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
Dude. If you've never been laid before that totally changes everything. She's manipulating you to build her ego and will delight in breaking your heart. Don't worry about being awkward just tell her to get lost. That's no way to start your sex life.

And dude I'm not laughing that you're a virgin. That's totally fine. You just need to find a woman more appropriate to your situation. There's people in their twenties who are shy or whatever and haven't explored their sexuality yet. And women aplenty who will appreciate your honestly and sincerity and not exploit it. Trust me. This one at work is real cunt. Find the right one and enjoy! (Not her, with her husband in the know... no way!)
Find all posts by this user
[+] 2 users Like I'mFred's post
25-05-2017, 07:41 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
I am sorry you deal with social difficulty, that must be very challenging. But pursuing a married woman will only lead to your heartbreak, and that wouldn't be good for you Sad

Is there counseling or therapy that can help you navigate having a relationship? They could set up social stories and perhaps help you get over the hurdles you face?

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

[Image: parodia-michal-aniol-flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
25-05-2017, 07:45 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
(25-05-2017 07:35 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(25-05-2017 07:29 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  I'm still a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. You can laugh, but I have legitimate mental issues that have made most kinds of interpersonal bonds a terrible struggle for me. That a woman would initiate such a relationship with me has made me feel things I've only ever heard about but never thought I would feel.

I know it's impossible. We have no future. I just need a way to end it with minimal awkardness.

I think I would look for another job. This situation seems fraught with problems. Also, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and never having a girlfriend. Don't sell yourself short, you were able to attract this lady's attention, I'm sure you can do the same for a single woman as well.

Perhaps, but the cynical side of me thinks she was just using me as a fetish. I'm not really sure I even want a girlfriend. I technically had a girlfriend once, but it was long-distance and we had never met in person, and the whole thing imploded entirely due to me. In other words, I'm probably not boyfriend material--which is totally fine, by the way--so I think my "love" for my coworker is maybe nothing but a kind of pathetic curiosity mixed with lonliness and desperation.

I think I'll just confront her. It's my problem to fix. I shouldn't be so cowardly.

No
Find all posts by this user
25-05-2017, 07:46 PM
In love with married coworker
(25-05-2017 07:32 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  I was diagnosed with autism as a child and I still have great difficulty interacting with people.

You need to get away from that woman now. Knowing this about you makes me very concerned. You don't know how to feel in this situation and you will be crushed when it doesn't work out. You are mistaking her lust with love.

I have a kid with Autism Spectrum Disorder and I see this all the time. It's going to be devastating to you. Find someone that you can have a wholesome relationship with.
Find all posts by this user
[+] 3 users Like KUSA's post
25-05-2017, 07:46 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
I've not been in this situation, but I've had similar situations where I need to keep something off my mind that is like torture. When you think about this you are reinforcing the thoughts and your brain then spirals into an obsession. You can't 'just stop'. Well, you can (it's not impossible) but it would be extremely difficult. I suggest you make your decision that you do want it to end, and then replace both your thoughts and behaviours with something else. 'Obsess' about other things and make something else your interest and focus. Don't go to the water cooler that makes you walk by her desk (making this up as example), be busy when she comes by or leave to use the washroom if she is instant. Are there other coworkers you could sort of be friendly with to spend your time with alternatively? If they don't make you feel as comfortable when you talk, you can have a basic relationship just to fill the void of interactions you'd stop having temporarily.

Sounds tough, but you seem to understand and know what you actually want despite how you feel sometimes.
Find all posts by this user
[+] 3 users Like LadyJane's post
25-05-2017, 07:46 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
Holy crap I'mFred, how about a little class. This is the support section and I'm sure you can think of different words to get your sordid point across.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
[+] 4 users Like Momsurroundedbyboys's post
25-05-2017, 07:46 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
(25-05-2017 07:45 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  
(25-05-2017 07:35 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think I would look for another job. This situation seems fraught with problems. Also, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and never having a girlfriend. Don't sell yourself short, you were able to attract this lady's attention, I'm sure you can do the same for a single woman as well.

Perhaps, but the cynical side of me thinks she was just using me as a fetish. I'm not really sure I even want a girlfriend. I technically had a girlfriend once, but it was long-distance and we had never met in person, and the whole thing imploded entirely due to me. In other words, I'm probably not boyfriend material--which is totally fine, by the way--so I think my "love" for my coworker is maybe nothing but a kind of pathetic curiosity mixed with lonliness and desperation.

I think I'll just confront her. It's my problem to fix. I shouldn't be so cowardly.

Tell her to stop. If she doesn't then go to HR.

Her behavior is inappropriate on many, many levels.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
[+] 4 users Like Anjele's post
25-05-2017, 07:47 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
(25-05-2017 07:32 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  
(25-05-2017 07:26 PM)ShadowProject Wrote:  Are you in love...or is it lust?
That's an important distinction to make to yourself.

Also, it sounds like their relationship has issues. If you get involved with this woman while she is still married, their issues will become your issues too.

Mostly love, I think. She's on my mind constantly. The sexual attraction is maybe 20% of the equation. I was diagnosed with autism as a child and I still have great difficulty interacting with people. She's one of the rare people with whom I can hold a conversation like a normal person.

Bro, that's tough. Your story keeps getting tougher. I'm really sorry you're going to have to lose a rare social connection but I hope you have the strength to do it. I'm telling you, this bitch is bad news. She's singled you out for this, man.

You're ripe to fall in love. Look elsewhere. Please trust me.
Find all posts by this user
25-05-2017, 07:48 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
Thanks for the replies, everyone. It helped getting this off my chest. I know what needs to be done now.

No
Find all posts by this user
[+] 3 users Like neurotibotical's post
25-05-2017, 07:50 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
Good luck. It's not an easy situation, but you can do it.

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

[Image: parodia-michal-aniol-flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Thread Closed 
Forum Jump: