In love with married coworker
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26-05-2017, 03:01 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
(25-05-2017 07:26 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  
(25-05-2017 07:20 PM)ImFred Wrote:  Then fuck her!!! I totally know all about this scene, man. You're not going to be able to not fuck her. The longer you stretch it out the better it gets though so you might as well try to stop. lol

I'm not that kind of person. I just need advice on how to get out of this situation.

You are that kind of person - nothing wrong with sexual attraction. You wouldn't already be wallowing in it otherwise. Penetration is not an escalation - it's just a different aspect of the same behavior. If you want out, you let her know. Say it to her.

We have to remember that what we observe is not nature herself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning ~ Werner Heisenberg
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26-05-2017, 03:12 AM (This post was last modified: 26-05-2017 03:17 AM by JesseB.)
RE: In love with married coworker
(26-05-2017 03:01 AM)tomilay Wrote:  
(25-05-2017 07:26 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  I'm not that kind of person. I just need advice on how to get out of this situation.

You are that kind of person - nothing wrong with sexual attraction. You wouldn't already be wallowing in it otherwise. Penetration is not an escalation - it's just a different aspect of the same behavior. If you want out, you let her know. Say it to her.

While I totally agree with you. A few more encounters with women and he'll have enough hatred built up over how they'll be treating him that he'll have no problem telling them they are worthless and move on. Anger/Hatred are good motivators at keeping hormones in check, and the likely hood of him meeting someone that won't abuse him and manipulate him and use him then discard him are pretty unlikely.

To be fair it's pretty clear I have a very low opinion of women in general. My policy is simple however, if you want trust guy or girl you gotta earn it. Anyone can do it, the question is will they. I judge people based on their actions. As for my low opinions well..... After a while you learn not to stick your dick on an electric fence. AKA I trusted one too many women in the past, now I know better.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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26-05-2017, 03:42 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
Don't do it, not worth it. You are young, lots of other women out there.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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26-05-2017, 03:43 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
(25-05-2017 07:29 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  I'm still a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. You can laugh, but I have legitimate mental issues that have made most kinds of interpersonal bonds a terrible struggle for me. That a woman would initiate such a relationship with me has made me feel things I've only ever heard about but never thought I would feel.

I know it's impossible. We have no future. I just need a way to end it with minimal awkardness.

Re: This bit -

I was a bit of a late starter with girls, (by British standards anyway), and at 17/18 had never had a serious girlfriend/kissed a girl or slept with a girl. I later got hooked up by a friend with a girl who had similar interests and we both fell proper "head over heels" for each other. We did everything together, she was my 'first' in pretty much everything. I even had a massive falling out with my family over her, as they said "she's not right for you etc etc" and I took it very personally.

About a year down the line, I started to see the cracks and it turns out my family were 100% correct...She wasn't a very nice person at all. Terrible attitude to life/a bit of a racist to boot/used emotional black-mail on me multiple times [honestly the list goes on] and seeing it for the first time I was shocked, and kind of appalled that I couldn't see it before, as she'd been the same the entire time.

The TL;DR of this is: sometimes you get into a position where you think "WOW, somebody actually likes ME" and when you're not used to that attention it kind of activates your sexual side, which you then associate with "love" when in fact it's more of a lust thing.

Following my previous ex, I met my [now] wife, and I know what love really is and how it feels. Just tell this women straight that it's confusing you and you don't need that in your life. You're willing to be friends, but not in a weird touchy-feely way.

"Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin." - Rick
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26-05-2017, 03:46 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
(26-05-2017 03:43 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  
(25-05-2017 07:29 PM)mikep987654321 Wrote:  I'm still a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. You can laugh, but I have legitimate mental issues that have made most kinds of interpersonal bonds a terrible struggle for me. That a woman would initiate such a relationship with me has made me feel things I've only ever heard about but never thought I would feel.

I know it's impossible. We have no future. I just need a way to end it with minimal awkardness.

Re: This bit -

I was a bit of a late starter with girls, (by British standards anyway), and at 17/18 had never had a serious girlfriend/kissed a girl or slept with a girl. I later got hooked up by a friend with a girl who had similar interests and we both fell proper "head over heels" for each other. We did everything together, she was my 'first' in pretty much everything. I even had a massive falling out with my family over her, as they said "she's not right for you etc etc" and I took it very personally.

About a year down the line, I started to see the cracks and it turns out my family were 100% correct...She wasn't a very nice person at all. Terrible attitude to life/a bit of a racist to boot/used emotional black-mail on me multiple times [honestly the list goes on] and seeing it for the first time I was shocked, and kind of appalled that I couldn't see it before, as she'd been the same the entire time.

The TL;DR of this is: sometimes you get into a position where you think "WOW, somebody actually likes ME" and when you're not used to that attention it kind of activates your sexual side, which you then associate with "love" when in fact it's more of a lust thing.

Following my previous ex, I met my [now] wife, and I know what love really is and how it feels. Just tell this women straight that it's confusing you and you don't need that in your life. You're willing to be friends, but not in a weird touchy-feely way.

LOL That's how I got married. I literally married the first girl I thought "actually" liked me. Big mistake. Right there with ya Old Oak

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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26-05-2017, 03:51 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
It's strange when you talk to some people about it, but I have a laundry list of garbage emotional baggage from that relationship.

The only thing I can really say was a plus is that it taught me to take things slowly with people. I dated my wife for like a few months before we made it official, as she was a friend before we got together, so I didn't want to ruin that either. That and I learned a lot of bedroom related things from my ex, which is nice lol. But in hindsight it might have been nice to sleep with somebody I actually legit loved rather than letting my teenage hormones do the driving.

"Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin." - Rick
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26-05-2017, 05:37 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
Mike, run mate, seriously this is a more dangerous situation than you might think, do NOT go out with her or meet outside the work place she will manipulate your feelings and you are at the mercy of your hormones being a young chap.
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26-05-2017, 09:39 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
I haven't been through the five pages of responses so if I'm repeating something someone else said, my apologies in advance.

There is no upside to continuing on this path. None whatsoever.

Someone - most likely, everyone - is going to get hurt. Someone is going to get fired. Might be you.

On another thread, there's some discussion about "manning up" and how men are expected, rightly or wrongly, to take charge of their emotions and not let their feelings get the better of them.

This is one of those times.

The desire you're feeling is normal and natural, it's part of our biological heritage.

But you have to consider the context of the situation: a work environment, married people who have made a commitment to be true to one another, and career advancement. Risking all that for the sake of a few moments of fluttering in one's prostate is not a smart bet.

So man up. Those desires and emotions need to be squelched. To bend to them is weakness, and no one - especially women - like a weak man.
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26-05-2017, 10:08 AM
RE: In love with married coworker
Is she your supervisor or in any position to provide input in your employee evaluations or to have an impact on the progression of your career? If so, sue her ass and cope with the loss by using the cash to dry your tears.

Unless of course you want to hook-up with her and are prepared to deal with the professional ramifications - then go for it. Maybe they're in an open marriage.

Sounds to me like something's gotta give one way or the other and she seems perfectly fine allowing you to suffer with the uncertainty. This could just be something they do in their marriage - teasing others to satisfy their own fantasies. If that's their kink then fine, power to them. But they're certainly not doing you any favors leaving you in the dark about it.
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26-05-2017, 12:27 PM
RE: In love with married coworker
She's a organ-harvester. Stay away from her and keep your kidneys.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

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