In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
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14-01-2014, 09:05 PM (This post was last modified: 14-01-2014 09:13 PM by Gilgamesh.)
In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
I was planning on killing myself. I wound up at the hospital of my own free will. I felt like I was going to be helped. I'd rather live than die, so I'd give it a try.

Before I know it, I'm in the psyche ward. I don't know what I was expecting, but it should have been this. I wasn't heartbroken about it.

What troubles me most is that I have to take medication against my will. This is insane, in my opinion. I'm not delusional, but the psychiatrist I spoke to figurally stamped on my forehead, "delusional" after all of 5 minutes speaking with him. An anti-psychotic, Risperidone, is the medication I'm going to have to take. They say it's my choice, but they also say if I choose not to they're going to force inject me (with a different anti-psychotic than Risperidone, because that has no injectable variant.) This deeply scares me. The side effects of this drug deeply scare me. I plan on making a run for it, but if (more like when) I get caught, I probably will have to go through more crap than I otherwise would have.

I feel like I'm the only sane one here, too. Everyone here seems like a zombie. I feel like if I allow them to force these meds on me, I'll wind up like that, too (with 30 more pounds and diabetes to boot.) They treat me like I'm a child that can't be trusted to make choices for myself (I am 'delusional' after all.) The nurses nod their head but I know they don't actually consider anything I say. This is horrible, and it doesn't help me at all.

If I were to describe the condition of my psychology, it wouldn't be delusional. Extreme paranoia, general anxiety (specifically social), chronic worrying, OCD all sounds about right. I have trouble leaving my home, and even being at home because I believe my roommate is trying to harm me. It gets pretty depressing. I also have no friends and don't associate with anybody. Depressing and lonely, which is depressing, too - Doubly depressing. Not delusional, though, I swear! srs.

Prettymuch just ranting. Share your stories if you have something related. Don't care to hear the "you have so much to live for" gruel, though. I don't currently want to kill myself, although I'm thinking I might do it just to spite these peoples fine work.

"Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty. People no longer have need of others. You can always find a spare for any talent. Any relationship can be replaced. I had gotten bored of a world like that."
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14-01-2014, 10:07 PM
RE: In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
Are we to take it that you have Internet access from within the psychiatric ward you currently inhabit? Consider

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14-01-2014, 10:29 PM
RE: In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
Ohmy wow

Any idea how long they plan on keeping you?

My only advice is that you thought life sucked when you went there for help, now they are giving you help. Give their ways a chance and then figure out the next step.

Hug hang in there -


got anything to entertain yourself with to pass the time? therapy? walk, do push ups, ohh! you can try joining the plank challenge like the rest of us. ? just trying to come up with ideas so you don't go crazy.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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14-01-2014, 11:00 PM
RE: In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
(14-01-2014 10:07 PM)Vosur Wrote:  Are we to take it that you have Internet access from within the psychiatric ward you currently inhabit? Consider
Yes. Hardly anyone else uses the 2 computer terminals, either, so it's all mine.


(14-01-2014 10:29 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Ohmy wow

Any idea how long they plan on keeping you?

My only advice is that you thought life sucked when you went there for help, now they are giving you help. Give their ways a chance and then figure out the next step.

Hug hang in there -


got anything to entertain yourself with to pass the time? therapy? walk, do push ups, ohh! you can try joining the plank challenge like the rest of us. ? just trying to come up with ideas so you don't go crazy.

I'm a bodybuilder. Doing it like it's prison, mang. Pushups all day. I want unlimited access to their gym but I don't think that's going to happen. I'll just hunch my shoulders forward with 50 sets of pushups a day, lol.

Prettymuch internet and working out is what I keep busy with. It's not that bad because I've spent most of my life deeply isolated, anyway. They have planned activites but I'll be frank, that stuff they do is for kids - or adults in a second childhood =/

"Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty. People no longer have need of others. You can always find a spare for any talent. Any relationship can be replaced. I had gotten bored of a world like that."
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15-01-2014, 01:36 AM
RE: In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
Act out some scenes from Bronson?
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15-01-2014, 08:32 AM
RE: In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
OMG I hope you're alright. Please listen to your doctors and get well.

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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15-01-2014, 09:09 AM
RE: In the psyche ward whether I will it or no
While I have never seen the wisdom of admitting suicidal people to psych wards, now you're there and you may as well make the best of it.

Try whatever they suggest and you'll see if it ends up making you feel better or not.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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