Insecurity
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28-05-2016, 10:26 AM
RE: Insecurity
(28-05-2016 09:48 AM)debna27 Wrote:  
(28-05-2016 08:19 AM)I Am Wrote:  There's nothing wrong in posting with care. Before you delete, ask yourself what your main point is. Edit to say just what you mean. If you still aren't sure you should post, save it and wait a while. You may feel better after you think it over.

This took about an hour of editing. It started out four times as long. Wink

Good advice Smile the only apprehension I have is that if I wait too long, the thread will start to go in a totally different direction and I'll miss out on making my point (that happens to me quite a bit when I'm at work and I don't have time to fully type out my thoughts). I suppose that isn't the end of the world though.

Also I honestly can't tell if you're kidding at the end or not, but either way it made me laugh so thank you Thumbsup

First...Know that you have a kindred spirit here, and that I had a thread saved in draft for almost 3 weeks (not kidding) on how I felt this way too. I've deleted it now, but I've copied and pasted this last part of it:

I probably won't even post this when I'm done, if your reading this then I guess I did.

As a side note: You can see how long ago I joined TTA forums and you can see how many posts I've made. There are members that joined an hour ago that have posted more then me, but what you can't see is how many replies to postings or new threads that I've started in draft and then said "that sounded a lot smarter or funnier or profound or important in my head then it does now that I have written it down" ...and then I deleted them.

A friend in the hole
"I'll be back when I want it...not when I need it." - Hawkeye
"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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28-05-2016, 10:56 AM
RE: Insecurity
You'll be fine. Just learn to roll with it. I've posted things I thought were funny that other people didn't. I'm sure I've said something stupid, too. My lack of perfection truly annoys me, but I just do the best I can. I have times where I started to post and then exited without saving, as well.
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28-05-2016, 11:08 AM
RE: Insecurity
(28-05-2016 10:26 AM)unsapien Wrote:  
(28-05-2016 09:48 AM)debna27 Wrote:  Good advice Smile the only apprehension I have is that if I wait too long, the thread will start to go in a totally different direction and I'll miss out on making my point (that happens to me quite a bit when I'm at work and I don't have time to fully type out my thoughts). I suppose that isn't the end of the world though.

Also I honestly can't tell if you're kidding at the end or not, but either way it made me laugh so thank you Thumbsup

First...Know that you have a kindred spirit here, and that I had a thread saved in draft for almost 3 weeks (not kidding) on how I felt this way too. I've deleted it now, but I've copied and pasted this last part of it:

I probably won't even post this when I'm done, if your reading this then I guess I did.

As a side note: You can see how long ago I joined TTA forums and you can see how many posts I've made. There are members that joined an hour ago that have posted more then me, but what you can't see is how many replies to postings or new threads that I've started in draft and then said "that sounded a lot smarter or funnier or profound or important in my head then it does now that I have written it down" ...and then I deleted them.

This is actually really encouraging to me. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it helps just to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Hopefully it'll help me feel less frustrated with myself in the future.
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28-05-2016, 11:14 AM
RE: Insecurity
(27-05-2016 11:53 PM)debna27 Wrote:  I don't even know how to write this, because I'm not really sure why I'm writing. I've been spending a lot of time reading the forums lately, and I'm always really interested in what's going on. I want to post more and join in conversations but I've been struggling with feeling like I'm going to be in the way or out of place or something. Basically, I just feel like I don't belong, but I really, really want to. I can't really explain it, I'll try to respond to something but then get scared that I sound stupid and delete what I've typed before posting it. I know that if I want to be a part of everything here I have to be active and make myself a part of it.
I guess what I'm saying is that everyone here comes off as so smart and great that I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself by showing how ignorant and inexperienced I am in comparison. I suspect a lot of this is my depression trying to make me feel shitty, since from what I've seen, this community isn't one to belittle those who try to honestly engage and be a part of it. I suppose I'm just looking for some encouragement or something. Feel free to disregard this if you want, I know it must seem an awful lot like attention seeking. But if anybody has any resources that they think would be helpful, or can share any similar experiences, I would really appreciate it. Thanks guys.

I feel this a lot. That's why I mostly just read what is being posted and half the time nothing more. like right now. I just want to delete it and move on. But here I am!
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28-05-2016, 11:30 AM
RE: Insecurity
(28-05-2016 11:14 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(27-05-2016 11:53 PM)debna27 Wrote:  I don't even know how to write this, because I'm not really sure why I'm writing. I've been spending a lot of time reading the forums lately, and I'm always really interested in what's going on. I want to post more and join in conversations but I've been struggling with feeling like I'm going to be in the way or out of place or something. Basically, I just feel like I don't belong, but I really, really want to. I can't really explain it, I'll try to respond to something but then get scared that I sound stupid and delete what I've typed before posting it. I know that if I want to be a part of everything here I have to be active and make myself a part of it.
I guess what I'm saying is that everyone here comes off as so smart and great that I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself by showing how ignorant and inexperienced I am in comparison. I suspect a lot of this is my depression trying to make me feel shitty, since from what I've seen, this community isn't one to belittle those who try to honestly engage and be a part of it. I suppose I'm just looking for some encouragement or something. Feel free to disregard this if you want, I know it must seem an awful lot like attention seeking. But if anybody has any resources that they think would be helpful, or can share any similar experiences, I would really appreciate it. Thanks guys.

I feel this a lot. That's why I mostly just read what is being posted and half the time nothing more. like right now. I just want to delete it and move on. But here I am!

Thank you for being here, Jewel! I appreciate your support. It's helping me feel like I can be bolder and contribute more. I've sometimes seen your threads and felt like I should say something. I'm going to start doing so more often.
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28-05-2016, 11:38 AM
RE: Insecurity
(28-05-2016 11:30 AM)debna27 Wrote:  
(28-05-2016 11:14 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I feel this a lot. That's why I mostly just read what is being posted and half the time nothing more. like right now. I just want to delete it and move on. But here I am!

Thank you for being here, Jewel! I appreciate your support. It's helping me feel like I can be bolder and contribute more. I've sometimes seen your threads and felt like I should say something. I'm going to start doing so more often.

Maybe I'll step up with you. Instead of deleting my comments I'll just post them.
We can do it!
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28-05-2016, 11:41 AM
RE: Insecurity
(28-05-2016 11:38 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(28-05-2016 11:30 AM)debna27 Wrote:  Thank you for being here, Jewel! I appreciate your support. It's helping me feel like I can be bolder and contribute more. I've sometimes seen your threads and felt like I should say something. I'm going to start doing so more often.

Maybe I'll step up with you. Instead of deleting my comments I'll just post them.
We can do it!

Sounds good to me! Looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts in the future Smile I'm sure I'll enjoy reading them.
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28-05-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: Insecurity
(28-05-2016 11:41 AM)debna27 Wrote:  
(28-05-2016 11:38 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  Maybe I'll step up with you. Instead of deleting my comments I'll just post them.
We can do it!

Sounds good to me! Looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts in the future Smile I'm sure I'll enjoy reading them.

same to you!
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28-05-2016, 12:00 PM
RE: Insecurity
Good grief, ladies, I want to read what you have to say even if you think it's stupid later. "Woman up" and post it. You can always say, "Oh shit," later. We aren't going to come over to your house and ridicule you.
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28-05-2016, 12:05 PM
RE: Insecurity
I post from my cellphone. I probably have eight pages open I've intended to post on the past several weeks. I'm in the middle of a new job, moving, life drama, etc or I would have been more interactive with you and been like "SUP DEBNA! Welcome!"

Some people are grammar nazis. There is a smilie on the left hand side of your response screen with an eye roll Thumbsup Thet being said, most of the grammar errors are pointed out in the debate section where the gloves are off. I have a tendency to use conversational English. I don't like to be all formal and shit. If somebody is bothered by it, well, I don't care. Oh! Thanks to this site I now know the proper usage of its and it's. Big Grin

Self esteem tips - repeat after me "I'm awesome. If others can't see it, their loss. They can go fuck themselves." Yes, I tell myself this.

Just be yourself, be real. I love the personalities in this place. We all come from VERY different walks of life. We each bring a different perspective to this place. I don't know much about formal philosophy - I'm not going to act like an expert on the topic BUt if I have something to say, I add in my two cents (usually it's just ridiculous humor when it comes to the subject). Add your perspective- it's (see - used it correctly, personal growth right there) what makes this place beautiful! Heart

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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