Insensitive remarks regarding a death
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25-10-2013, 04:52 PM
Insensitive remarks regarding a death
A girl from my graduating class recently died due to an accidental overdose. A very shocking death for this girl.

A lot of mutual friends were posting lovely remembrances on her Facebook page, as well as condolences and offers of prayers to the family

The "you and your family will be I'm our prayers" thing doesn't really bother me. I believe the family may even be religious, so those sentiments are fitting.

What really bothered me was that there was more than one person who took the approach of "god needed another angel" or "god had other plans for her". Two even went as far as to say things to the effect of " at least she no longer has to live here on this crazy planet with all of its problems anymore". I found these comments offensive.

I kept this opinion to myself of course, I don't feel a time of unimaginable grief is the time to debate the existence of god or the morality of religion.

Am I crazy? Or was this really offensive to anyone else?
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25-10-2013, 04:55 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
When I had a miscarriage my mother told me that God had called my baby home and things happen for a reason and it was really what was best for me and my family. I wanted to punch her in the nose.
You are not alone. I think it is insensitive too.

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25-10-2013, 04:58 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
(25-10-2013 04:55 PM)LostandInsecure Wrote:  When I had a miscarriage my mother told me that God had called my baby home and things happen for a reason and it was really what was best for me and my family. I wanted to punch her in the nose.
You are not alone. I think it is insensitive too.
Sorry for your loss, I've been there too Hug luckily religion doesn't come up much in my family. Bravo on not following thru with that punch!
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25-10-2013, 05:06 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
I think it's douchey. There are several fucking ways to show you're sorry without bringing religion into it.

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Bury me with my guns on, so when I'm cast out of the sky, I can shoot the devil right between the eyes.
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25-10-2013, 05:13 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
You're not crazy!! I only go to funerals, anymore, if it's incredibly important to someone I care about that I attend, specifically due to comments like those! You're right, too, Lost! I didn't like comments like that before, when I believed. Now? I can almost feel the murderous rage rising at the thought of someone saying "she's with gawd now"! I know they aren't saying it to be mean, but I don't care!! Stay the hell away from me you delusional assholes, or I'll gouge out your eyes Angry

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25-10-2013, 05:23 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
(25-10-2013 04:52 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  A girl from my graduating class recently died due to an accidental overdose. A very shocking death for this girl.

A lot of mutual friends were posting lovely remembrances on her Facebook page, as well as condolences and offers of prayers to the family

The "you and your family will be I'm our prayers" thing doesn't really bother me. I believe the family may even be religious, so those sentiments are fitting.

What really bothered me was that there was more than one person who took the approach of "god needed another angel" or "god had other plans for her". Two even went as far as to say things to the effect of " at least she no longer has to live here on this crazy planet with all of its problems anymore". I found these comments offensive.

I kept this opinion to myself of course, I don't feel a time of unimaginable grief is the time to debate the existence of god or the morality of religion.

Am I crazy? Or was this really offensive to anyone else?

Some Xtian remarks can be grossly offensive and seriously out of context.
Even for believers "this crazy planet" should surely be seen as a testing place not somewhere for very young people to make a quick sad exit.Rolleyes
Also, you had enough sense to get embroiled in an argument at such a time.Thumbsup
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25-10-2013, 05:25 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
I had to listen to this stuff ad infinitum when my husband died. It is actually the reason I came here in the first place - I needed to vent.

God needed him by his side, and I am lucky that I now have someone right next to god who can put a word in for me... Tongue Hubby was an atheist too.

But a friend of mine got a lot worse. She had a 5 year old daughter die of cancer. Her own mother told her that it was god's punishment for her because she went to Vegas and gambled.

That is just disgusting. She didn't even have a gambling addiction at all, she just went on a business trip to Vegas and played a bit while there. But - a trip to sin city and god tortures your child to death.

Disgusting!

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25-10-2013, 05:26 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
(25-10-2013 05:25 PM)Dom Wrote:  I had to listen to this stuff ad infinitum when my husband died. It is actually the reason I came here in the first place - I needed to vent.

God needed him by his side, and I am lucky that I now have someone right next to god who can put a word in for me... Tongue Hubby was an atheist too.

But a friend of mine got a lot worse. She had a 5 year old daughter die of cancer. Her own mother told her that it was god's punishment for her because she went to Vegas and gambled.

That is just disgusting. She didn't even have a gambling addiction at all, she just went on a business trip to Vegas and played a bit while there. But - a trip to sin city and god tortures your child to death.

Disgusting!

Wow.... No words.... Breaks my heart
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25-10-2013, 05:28 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
It's your right to be offended. I see no problem with any of those comments, myself. I don't think any of the people making them were 'trying' to be offensive, either, although even if they were, I still wouldn't care; I often find controversy and things that offend others to be hilarious, though.

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25-10-2013, 05:35 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
(25-10-2013 05:28 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  It's your right to be offended. I see no problem with any of those comments, myself. I don't think any of the people making them were 'trying' to be offensive, either, although even if they were, I still wouldn't care; I often find controversy and things that offend others to be hilarious, though.

I really think that such remarks could be offensive to the suffering religious people in mourning , especially if they were more thoughtful xtians.
Of course they were not trying to be offensive; at times such as funerals it is probably better to shut up unless very close to the mourner's mind set.
Blabberers can be very offensive without even realising it.Confused
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