Insensitive remarks regarding a death
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25-10-2013, 06:12 PM (This post was last modified: 27-10-2013 08:48 PM by Anjele.)
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
A few years ago one of my daughter's friends was the victim of a murder/suicide. She was the mother/stepmother of five young children. The God called her home statements and God needed another angel statements were infuriating. God needed her more than those kids? And needed her badly enough that her husband shot her and then himself with the three year old in the next room watching cartoons.

If people really believe that's how their god operates and they are good with that, I'll pass, thank you.

I felt so bad when her mother finally snapped over the God has a plan crap...some of the Christians trying to tell her that everything was going to be okay. Her faith died when Tori did. The kids are now spread across three different homes never to live together again.

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25-10-2013, 06:51 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
Ill pray for them, they are in our prayers etc is fine.
God has a plans or works in mysterious ways is not acceptable, But should probably be ignored as just indoctrinated spew.
If they know your an atheist and they say it, you should follow the bibles rules of slave beating.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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25-10-2013, 08:49 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
My dear old mum had an aortic valve replacement a couple years ago now. As I was waiting with her to be rolled into surgery she asked, "Will you pray for me son?" Now she's known I'm an atheist for going on 40 years now so we're both well aware of her little tricks so I responded, "Yes mother, I will pray that your surgeons, anesthesiologist and nurses have sufficient skill and training to save your sorry ass." She gave me a little smile as they wheeled her away. We know each other all too well. She came through it just fine, her sorry ass saved by a Sikh, a Muslim and a Jew. Big Grin

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
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Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
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25-10-2013, 10:45 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
(25-10-2013 05:25 PM)Dom Wrote:  I had to listen to this stuff ad infinitum when my husband died. It is actually the reason I came here in the first place - I needed to vent.

God needed him by his side, and I am lucky that I now have someone right next to god who can put a word in for me... Tongue Hubby was an atheist too.

But a friend of mine got a lot worse. She had a 5 year old daughter die of cancer. Her own mother told her that it was god's punishment for her because she went to Vegas and gambled.

That is just disgusting. She didn't even have a gambling addiction at all, she just went on a business trip to Vegas and played a bit while there. But - a trip to sin city and god tortures your child to death.

Disgusting!

Both of these stories sicken me. There's no level of ignorance that excuses that behavior.

In general, I don't let comments like the OP mentioned get to me. They're trying to be helpful. But seriously, if there was a god, he surely has more than enough angels by now. They're needed more here.

A coworker of mine lost her 21 hear old son to cancer 5 years ago. It shook her to her core, and still does. She abandoned her faith for several years and wondered how the god she had always believed in could allow this to happen to her baby. When she finally got over the worst of her anger, she decided to attend church again. The preacher had cancer and had beaten it several years before. He told the congregation of was because God had plans for him and had chosen him to remain here to do good deeds. My coworker lost it in the middle of the service and walked out. She came in the next day with puffy eyes, telling us how upset it HD gotten her that this guy somehow thought he was more worthy of life in God's eyes than her son. It broke the last straw of faith she had. Five years, and she still can't talk about her son without getting tears in her eyes. I can't imagine. No

(25-10-2013 06:12 PM)Anjele Wrote:  A few years ago one of my daughter's friends was the victim of a murder/suicide. She was the mother/stepmother of five young children. The God called her home statements and God needed another angel statements were infuriating. God needed her more than those kids? And needed her badly enough that her husband shot her and then himself with the three year old in the next room watching cartoons.

If people really belief that's how their god operates and they are good with that, I'll pass, thank you.

I felt so bad when her mother finally snapped over the God has a plan crap...some of the Christians trying to tell her that everything was going to be okay. Her faith died when Tori did. The kids are now spread across three different homes never to live together again.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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25-10-2013, 10:53 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
What a sad story ohio sky. Part of me is glad she could see the hipocracy, but the other part is saddened that the woman had to go through that to see the truth.

Very ironically, I was with a friend tonight that talked a bout the death of her father. He also died form an accidental overdose (took too much of the morphine prescribed to him) and she talked about how sometimes she can smell her dad. That she knows that means he is there near her, and watching over her.

Again, I said nothing. I may disagree with her way of coping, but I'd never take it away from her.
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27-10-2013, 03:26 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
It doesn't offend me when I hear people elaborate on their stupid beliefs. It opens my eyes even wider to their mind set.

If someone they know ever were killed by a serial killer, I would be tempted to say
"It's ok Serial killer needed another victim" "It's ok Serial killer had other plans for her"
"It's a good thing that Serial killer killed her, so she no longer has to live here on this crazy planet with all of its problems anymore"

"Praise the Serial Killer"

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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27-10-2013, 03:44 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
When my sister died... people said some stuff like that. They were rationalizing and playing stupid mind games because it was such a senseless thing... I found it quite hard to keep my composure some of the time - mostly when people got as far as implying that she was better off dead... but... it never really bothered me that much 'cos none of them knew her.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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27-10-2013, 03:48 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
That was totally inappropriate for a memorial. You were right to be mad.
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27-10-2013, 06:18 PM (This post was last modified: 27-10-2013 06:22 PM by Sam.)
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
I tend to be irritated by people saying "rest in peace"... As if the dead know or care about what's happening to their corpse. Just seems like daft thing to say...

It seems bit half arsed too... As if they can't find anything comforting to say. I never know what to say when someone tell's me their dad's died... So I don't say anything, RIP just seems like a cop out.

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27-10-2013, 06:32 PM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
If you aren't sure what to say, and I struggle with that, I just say I am sorry for their loss.

Doesn't help...but really...what words will?

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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