Insensitive remarks regarding a death
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28-10-2013, 06:26 AM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
I always struggle with what to say to someone who has experienced a loss beyond "I'm so sorry for your loss". The former christian in me reflexively wants to blurt out "I'll pray for you" or something similar but I catch myself. Grieving is such a personal experience and innocently made comments can quite easily be offensive. For me, less words and more action are better. Helping with food, taking care of children, caring for their pets, this is what I do best since I suck at emotional conversations.
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28-10-2013, 06:48 AM (This post was last modified: 28-10-2013 06:52 AM by cheapthrillseaker.)
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
I suck at giving consolation. I always end up acting like a 60 year old ex-trucker when it happens. Like my grandfather, pretty much.

Maybe they just suck at it, too. Maybe they're going straight for the default religious responses, and fucking it up royally.

...just a thought.

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28-10-2013, 11:14 AM
RE: Insensitive remarks regarding a death
(25-10-2013 04:52 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  What really bothered me was that there was more than one person who took the approach of "god needed another angel" or "god had other plans for her".

These types of comments are fairly innane, and are the types of things people say to make themselves feel better about the problem of evil.

(25-10-2013 04:52 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Two even went as far as to say things to the effect of " at least she no longer has to live here on this crazy planet with all of its problems anymore". I found these comments offensive.

These types of comments are genuinely creepy because of the logical implications that you should kill yourself for True Happiness. Obviously, Christians don't do this, primarily for two reasons:
  1. Because they don't actually believe this, and they fear death because they don't actually know what's waiting for them on the other side.
  2. Typical theological positions on the matter say that it's a sin to kill yourself. This is likely to keep people from doing exactly that, and to keep Christianity from becoming a suicide cult. I mean, the whole reason we don't keep reading in the paper about a steady stream of people drinking poisonous Kool Aid is because everyone that did that is dead, and the cult died with them.

It always creeps me out to hear people talk about their "true home" and how they can't wait to get there. Bonus points if they talk about not worrying about running out of oil/global warming/nuclear war because this isn't their real home/Jesus is coming before any of that happens.
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