Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
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10-01-2015, 12:27 PM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Welcome, glad to meet you. I really hope you enjoy your stay.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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10-01-2015, 01:12 PM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
(10-01-2015 09:39 AM)Tonechaser77 Wrote:  Hey everyone,
I just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm 37 yr-old raised in a fundamental (extremely oppressing) version of christianity, but also a very loving home. It's a wonder I'm not more eff'd up Sadcryface

The short end of my story: My church was more like a cult with me basically believing that if I even moved out of my home town I would miss the rapture. I remember thinking I wouldn't even make it to 16 and all I wanted to do was learn how to drive! I knew I would never have the chance to get married and have kids. God wouldn't hold out that long from sounding that trumpet and splitting the eastern skies. ( I'm pissed at the way I was raised. I'm pissed at the oppression that church caused and is still causing. I'm pissed because of how paranoid and depressed it made me and several others who came out of it that I still stay in contact with.)

Luckily enough I was able to get away enough to attend a liberal college and get a good degree. Few people escaped, however I still made the hour long trip back home every weekend for church. My connection was the worship and I had been on the worship team since about 16 years old.

During college and up until 24 years old I led worship week in and week out. At one point I "backslid" and actually pulled away from the church completely. After two years I started attending another church. I missed the community of people and playing music. I got involved in P&W at that church and met my wife.

We moved out of that town eventually (where our jobs took us) and ended up in a moderate size church of about 1500 people where I started leading worship. Eventually after 4 years some heavy sh*t went down that left us completely broken we moved on to where we are currently at (again I am on the worship team but not leading, just playing guitar) this time for a church of about 6,000 people. Oddly enough our pastor taught a sermon series in the beginning of 2012 about struggling with doubt and that it was okay to doubt. I had never heard this before, this was cray talk...doubting God? The almighty who was and is and is to come, who made all things and hath placed all things under his feet? As a fundamentalist I had believed every word the bible had said. But this series opened up a pandora's box for me.

Because of this I realized that I couldn't defend my faith for the life of me and I set out, for a full year, studying apologetics and taking as many online courses as I could. Oddly, through this my sense of reasoning began to strengthen. 20-25 books and countless hours of podcasts, youtube videos, debates and two years later I have arrived to where I am at today.

Deep in my mind I don't think I believe anymore, but I am going kicking and screaming (as Bart Ehrman says). I can't say I know there isn't a god but it really doesn't seem likely to me. I guess I would consider myself at best an agnostic and at worst a believer who is extremely skeptic with copious doubts. There are too many issues that, when studied in depth, start pulling belief down like a house of cards.

My current struggle is with my family and is making waves. My wife, who is a true blue believer, doesn't know what to think and is scared out of her mind for our marriage, our kids etc. I constantly remind her that I am not changing, the substance that makes up my body and who I am is still the same. It's just my beliefs that seem to be waning. She doesn't understand this and feels that I am personally attacking her.

I still choose to shower her with love everyday. So I am probably in the place that many people are in or have been in. I need a support system and I'm sure I'm not going to find what I need at our church. Luckily enough my closest friends who are Christians have said they will be by my side no matter what my decision and that means the world to me. But I know there are others that will not go so quietly.

This is my life. Real facts. Real me.

Thanks for listening!

Welcome, I am glad you made it to the fence, now is the time to take a breath, and further your studies, your introspective analysis...and your dive into where all of this nonsense was fabricated, why, and by whom. I look forward to seeing more of you around the boards, if you have any questions, or thoughts you wish to share or discuss, please do..

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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10-01-2015, 01:29 PM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Hi there, pleased to meet you.

I too am relatively new, but can already vouch for the Personal Issues and Support section of the forum, having availed myself of it already. It is very humbling to find so many people here with such goodness in their heart, all of it springing from themselves, not from some old book.

To me, that seems to mean so much more.

As for the other parts of the forum, it can get a bit raucous, but despite Houseof cantors' protestations to the contrary, there are very few (two?) assholes here.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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10-01-2015, 01:45 PM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Welcome Smile

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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10-01-2015, 03:12 PM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Welcome, when I came out of my fundamentalist beliefs, I wanted to devour all kinds of info. This forum has excellent resources:

Atheist / Agnostic Informational Resource Library

If you haven't looked up information about who wrote the bible and why, this is a great thread:

Old Testament Texts / Another Look

And the videos in that post have been deleted on youtube, so here's one that is still there:




Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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11-01-2015, 08:37 AM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Welcome aboard. Smile

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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11-01-2015, 10:20 AM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Welcome here is your welcome seal

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[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOW_Ioi2wtuPa88FvBmnBgQ my youtube
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11-01-2015, 10:32 AM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Hi, I came here for very similar reasons.

Life has since fallen apart, but I gots me friends here.


Ranting corner, personal issues and support, and pics for a laugh at religion - they help me keep my sanity. Smile

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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11-01-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Intro: I stand at the door and knock...
Hello! Big Grin

*Hugz to Nurse* Hug
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