Introverts
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25-04-2015, 09:43 PM
RE: Introverts
(25-04-2015 06:46 PM)Dom Wrote:  Any other introverts here?

Yup, lifelong introvert here. I don't have problems socializing, but after a few hours it wears me out and I definitely need some alone time to recover. Some people seem to find it necessary to fill every silence with talking, regardless of how superficial it may be. To me, some silence is preferable and gives an opportunity to think more deeply. I have no problem speaking in front of people. In fact, I used to perform as a magician years ago and only stopped because it was mostly a hobby and I no longer have time to keep up with it.

I don't see introversion as a deficit or problem although I think some do. I think people sometimes misinterpret it as being standoffish or indicative of lower intelligence. But, in reality, it's just a different personality. It's also distinctly different from shyness although people often seem to think introversion and shyness are synonyms. Shy people fear social situations. Introverts don't.

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25-04-2015, 09:53 PM (This post was last modified: 25-04-2015 09:56 PM by Russ.)
RE: Introverts
(25-04-2015 06:46 PM)Dom Wrote:  Any other introverts here?

*raises hand*
Hello! Yet another introvert here. As many others have mentioned, I have an easy time socializing, I just get worn out.
One of the things I enjoy doing is just sitting outside in the sun, enjoying the sounds of nature. (sounds cheesy, I know)

(25-04-2015 09:43 PM)Impulse Wrote:  Some people seem to find it necessary to fill every silence with talking, regardless of how superficial it may be. To me, some silence is preferable and gives an opportunity to think more deeply.
Exactly, I was about to write this myself. Strange that some people feel the need to talk about nothing at all, as though silence is the most horrible thing imaginable.

(30-03-2015 08:47 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  IT'S THE HOLY GHOST oooOOOOOOOOOOooooooo
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25-04-2015, 10:03 PM (This post was last modified: 25-04-2015 10:15 PM by EvolutionKills.)
RE: Introverts
(25-04-2015 09:43 PM)Impulse Wrote:  Yup, lifelong introvert here. I don't have problems socializing, but after a few hours it wears me out and I definitely need some alone time to recover. Some people seem to find it necessary to fill every silence with talking, regardless of how superficial it may be. To me, some silence is preferable and gives an opportunity to think more deeply. I have no problem speaking in front of people.


This is me exactly. I'm a good public speaker, but I don't feel compelled to fill the air with needless chatter. I can get lost in an interesting conversation for hours, but chit-chat and filler talk is tiresome. I prefer activities I can do by myself like reading, or where I can control my level of involvement with other people, like video games.


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25-04-2015, 10:21 PM
RE: Introverts
(25-04-2015 08:13 PM)Anjele Wrote:  http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...ology-Test

This has results for several forum members.

Yeah, I remember that personality test. I was an ESFP. I'm a shy extrovert. This makes no sense I know but ...what are ya gonna do.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
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26-04-2015, 12:44 AM
RE: Introverts
(25-04-2015 10:21 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  ...
I'm a shy extrovert. This makes no sense I know but ...what are ya gonna do.

Lemme see...

Consider

Perhaps something publicly private ... maybe ... I dunno ... dance, for one?

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26-04-2015, 12:52 AM
RE: Introverts
Yes, I have become more introverted as I have gotten older. I like my solitude and alone time, I think it's because I don't have complete alone time often. I did the test, ISFJ. Read it tomorrow when I am more awake. I used to hate being alone, this enjoying my own company has come just in the last few years. I do wonder why it has come about.

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26-04-2015, 12:54 AM
RE: Introverts
(26-04-2015 12:44 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(25-04-2015 10:21 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  ...
I'm a shy extrovert. This makes no sense I know but ...what are ya gonna do.

Lemme see...

Consider

Perhaps something publicly private ... maybe ... I dunno ... dance, for one?

Thumbsup

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26-04-2015, 01:25 PM
RE: Introverts
This is something someone posted on a forum I used to post in years ago. While I don't agree with it 100%, it's mostly on target so I saved it. Unfortunately, I don't have a source link.

================

Caring for Your Introvert

The habits and needs of a little-understood group by Jonathan Rauch

.....

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.

Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.

What is introversion? In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."

How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."

Are introverts misunderstood? Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.

Are introverts oppressed? I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are really comfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who did rise to the top in politics—Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon—is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.

Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)

With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.

Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"

Third, don't say anything else, either.

@DonaldTrump, Patriotism is not honoring your flag no matter what your country/leader does. It's doing whatever it takes to make your country the best it can be as long as its not violent.
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26-04-2015, 02:14 PM
RE: Introverts
Yep, I don't know how I came through 60+ years of life without ever realizing this.

I have always been like this - I used to skip school and walk around in the park by myself - just to be by myself. Or I'd go into one of the very quiet, posh cafes and sit in a corner with a newspaper - to be alone and in quiet. I was just 12. People assumed I was studying something... I'd always carry a book around so I could pull it out and disappear into it.

I always thought I was extrovert because I can get along with people so well, any kind of people. I was always popular. I did a lot of public speaking. And after that I could not wait to get to a quiet place, I figured that was normal.

Now hubby was special - and I see now, also an introvert . We could be alone together. We'd often spend all day in the same house and not see each other - and have dinner together and talk up a storm about what we had been up to or thinking about. It was perfect.

Now nobody gets why I don't go out looking for another husband. I like living alone. I don't really want one, I am totally not interested in going through the "getting to know each other" phase. Besides, I would just want to stick him in the established "hubby spot" in my life - which would likely not go down well, ha.

It's nice to see so many others who are the same. Big Grin

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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27-04-2015, 02:58 PM
RE: Introverts
Ahh yes,

I am definitely an introvert. Somebody told me once, "Being an introvert means you recharge by being alone, while being an extrovert means you recharge by socializing." I like to think of it that way. For me it isn't black and white though. I do miss people from time to time or feel lonely if I've been alone too long. I just prefer to spend the large majority of my time not socializing. Even when I played MMORPGs I basically was a silent character (even when I would troll people with my sprite, haha).

For me, my ideal setting is being surrounded by people, but not having to talk to them, and also having a place to escape and be in solitude when I wish. For example, a house full of people doing their own things, where I might spend 10-20% of my time seeing what other are up to, but the rest of my time doing my own thing. Really my primary concern is being able to do my own activity, and that is more important than actually being alone.

I'm also really into human observation. I like to experience things as a silent 3rd person. Listening to family arguments, watching drama unfold in a park or on a bus. It's fascinating to me.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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