Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
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14-12-2012, 10:45 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
In regard to an illness or other downfall (not for my atheism or way of life I choose), it's a caring gesture- not an apathetic or malicious or harmful gesture. I like when others care about me. Sure, that's okay.

If they ask me to pray with them (for me) (and they know about my atheism)... I find that a little sneaky and intrusive, kind of back handed. It's uncomfortable and not helpful.
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14-12-2012, 11:04 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
(14-12-2012 09:57 AM)Vosur Wrote:  
(14-12-2012 09:43 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  With the exception of the fact that when someone says that, they almost always just forget to do it anyways.
How could you possibly know that?

It's a pretty common sermon theme. Christians say, "I'll pray for you" in the same spirit that most people ask, "How are you doing?" They don't usually care how you're really doing, it's just a polite greeting. Saying, "I'll pray for you" is often just a polite response to receiving news that otherwise makes them feel awkward.




I have a pastor friend who often says in an email that he's praying for me. I usually respond that the prayer is unnecessary, but I appreciate the sentiment behind it. My mom will say she's praying for me and I just say, "Thank you," because again, I know that's her way of expressing her love.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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14-12-2012, 11:09 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
(14-12-2012 11:04 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(14-12-2012 09:57 AM)Vosur Wrote:  How could you possibly know that?

It's a pretty common sermon theme. Christians say, "I'll pray for you" in the same spirit that most people ask, "How are you doing?" They don't usually care how you're really doing, it's just a polite greeting. Saying, "I'll pray for you" is often just a polite response to receiving news that otherwise makes them feel awkward.

Catholic Confession: I used to say this, but I'd forget sometimes, so part of my routine would be "...and please God, help anyone who I forgot to mention, or anyone who I don't know... actually, just help everyone. Of course in the way you see fit. (awkward pause). Please. Thanks Smile Love you. Mmmk, bye."

Ha hahha. I was such an awkward pray-er.
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14-12-2012, 11:10 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
Nah - I'm not insulted. Unless they do the ol', "I'll pray you find Jesus", or whatever. Then they are just being arrogant, condescending, judgmental dicks and they know it.

Usually, when someone tells me they'll pray for me and if I'm in a mood, I'll just say, "Thanks, I'll do an interpretive dance for you." They usually get it. Shy

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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14-12-2012, 11:22 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
When you get into a situation where people say this to you dozens of times over the course of weeks - it's still not offensive but very annoying and makes me want to scream.

I don't though. I just politely say "thank you" and remove myself asap.

They mean well, but if repeated over and over and over again, it gets under my skin. So useless. So not empathetic to me.

My aunt says this all the time, and with her it's taken as "I love you". I have absolutely no issues with that.

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14-12-2012, 11:24 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
Not usually, I think a lot of people just don't know what to say sometimes (especially after a heated discussion about beliefs). They often don't know how to answer the objections raised by the Atheist or what to do that could 'help' them (because of course for them you do need help of some kind as you have rejected something they 'know' to be true.)

Now of course, the whole idea that they are trying to fix someone who isn't broken is a bit insulting but I genuinely don't think the believer means it in an insulting way at all (or indeed sees it in this way at all). After all, they really are scared to death that their beloved friend is going to go to hell. They just have no other way of answering the Atheist's objections.

That said. Some people really do just say this in a patronizing way and that is insulting!

''For me it is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring''

Carl Sagan, 'The Demon Haunted World'
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14-12-2012, 11:24 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
Speaking of this, I totally love the You pray for me, I'll think for you T-shirt this site offers. Have been meaning to see if you deliver to my place (most probably not) since forever (actually, since before joining this loony place).

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14-12-2012, 11:25 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
(14-12-2012 11:09 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  
(14-12-2012 11:04 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  It's a pretty common sermon theme. Christians say, "I'll pray for you" in the same spirit that most people ask, "How are you doing?" They don't usually care how you're really doing, it's just a polite greeting. Saying, "I'll pray for you" is often just a polite response to receiving news that otherwise makes them feel awkward.

Catholic Confession: I used to say this, but I'd forget sometimes, so part of my routine would be "...and please God, help anyone who I forgot to mention, or anyone who I don't know... actually, just help everyone. Of course in the way you see fit. (awkward pause). Please. Thanks Smile Love you. Mmmk, bye."

Ha hahha. I was such an awkward pray-er.
I think that "Mmmk, bye" was the approved prayer closing before Vatican II.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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14-12-2012, 11:26 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
(14-12-2012 11:10 AM)kim Wrote:  Usually, when someone tells me they'll pray for me and if I'm in a mood, I'll just say, "Thanks, I'll do an interpretive dance for you." They usually get it. Shy
I'm praying for you, Kim

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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14-12-2012, 11:46 AM
RE: Is, "I'll pray for you" insulting?
I'll pray for you too, Kim. Pics or it didn't happen. Big Grin

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