Is it OK to have sex with kids?
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13-10-2011, 02:12 PM (This post was last modified: 13-10-2011 02:19 PM by Peterkin.)
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
Persons who are young enough for our society to call "children" may be 12 or 17, and are very often thrown, by that very same society, into situations where temptation is very difficult to resist. You can say they shouldn't be able to have sex, but they clearly are able - so i guess you mean they shouldn't be allowed... So why are they almost constantly in unsupervised mixed company and bombarded by libidinous messages?

What i meant by case-specific definition was unclear. I think legal definitions are nothing more than a guess at some average level of maturity in some non-existent average life experience. To me, everyone under 40 is a kid; to a seven-year-old, "kid"hood ends at six and a half: there is wide range.
Is a boy an adult at 16 years plus one day? Is his girlfriend a child at 16 years minus one day? Neither is a child nor an adult, but they're both "kids", and if they have sex, it's no big deal - if they've been properly educated, nobody else even needs to know.
What about two people with a mental age substantially below their chronological age? They might both be intellectual "kids", though not children, while also physically mature - and why shouldn't they have a loving adult relationship? What if a 25-year-old woman with an iQ of 100 marries a 25-year-old man with an IQ of 80? Or they're both average, but one has been raised in some strict backwoods church and the other grew up in the inner city?

There are so many ways to construe what's an adult, what's a kid and what's the right mental/ emotional/ cultural readiness for sex. Ultimately, most other people's private lives are none of our business. It becomes our business when we see harm done - not when we think, in our various prejudices (everybody has prejudices!) that a harm might be done. We have no business punishing people, or humiliating them, or spying on them, just because we're older. But we might, those who have children, make their environment less sexually charged; provide fewer opportunities for them to be taken advantage of, be aware of their comings and goings, parties and friends, clean up our computers and tv screens a bit...

And maybe not jump to the worst possible conclusion from a single post.

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13-10-2011, 04:22 PM (This post was last modified: 13-10-2011 04:31 PM by Hughsie.)
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
I think that in a perfect world you would judge an appropriate to have sex on a case by case basis. However, we don't live in a perfect world and such a system wouldn't be feasible. I think that system we have now is the best realistic option we have. Most western countries make it illegal for a person over 16 or 18 (depending on location) to have sex with someone under 16 or 18. In situations there is a breach of the law the severity of the punishment is based on the severity of the crime. Like I said, by no means perfect but the best we got.

Banjofrog, I am open to the concept that we teach people to be more affected by things than they need to, maybe in the same way that most human fears are learned. However, this is not one of those times. To even begin to imagine that abusing a child doesn't affect them is pure lunacy. There is never any situation where it is acceptable to abuse a child, there never will be, end of! If you think differently then you are either dangerously stupid or you need help. I'm guessing that you don't have any proper contact with children because if you did you would see how easily they can be affected by minor things and you would see how wrong you are.

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13-10-2011, 09:31 PM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
@Peterkin

Correct me if I am wrong but it seems as if you are trying to say it is okay for post puberty children, despite their adolescence, should be allowed to have intercourse. There are repercussions to sex, children are not able to support children they have. Simple as that. I think sex should go hand in hand with the ability to support a child.

Too many "children's" lives have been ruined because they are 14,15,16,17, with a child on the way. The newborn will not have the life it could have had if it's parents were more responsible. The Children who had the child will not be able to have the life they could have had if they didn't have the child. This is where us adults step in with our wisdom and prevent bad things like this from happening the best way we can.

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13-10-2011, 10:26 PM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
Even if a person, a child, at 17 thinks or says they want sex, they are too immature to understand everything the act encompases. It is NOT ok. It is the responsibility of the adult to recognize this and make the correct judgement NOT to do it.
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14-10-2011, 12:03 AM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
(13-10-2011 09:31 PM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  @Peterkin

Correct me if I am wrong but it seems as if you are trying to say it is okay for post puberty children, despite their adolescence, should be allowed to have intercourse. There are repercussions to sex, children are not able to support children they have. Simple as that. I think sex should go hand in hand with the ability to support a child.

Too many "children's" lives have been ruined because they are 14,15,16,17, with a child on the way. The newborn will not have the life it could have had if it's parents were more responsible. The Children who had the child will not be able to have the life they could have had if they didn't have the child. This is where us adults step in with our wisdom and prevent bad things like this from happening the best way we can.
I agree with all of what you say.

There is also the issues of sexually transmitted illness, and an acquiring of the notion that promiscuity without responsibility is good. We have enough infantile adults as it is!

The further back we take the age of consent the easier we make it for paedophiles who can claim that their behaviour is, well almost , condoned by society.
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14-10-2011, 04:51 AM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
OK, I see a lot of you think about this thread as something awful and disgusting. It is not, it is reality. Look, Lucradis, you say you would kill everyone who would come close to your kids. I presume you have a daughter, so I will give you a hypothetical situation, the one I know happened to someone very near me.

She is 13 years, does not look very older, but feels that way. She is horny. (sorry, but...) She really want to "do it", badly, it is all she thinks about, but she is afraid that everybody will think of her as a sloth. So some more time passes and now she is 14, nothing changed, she is still only thinking about sex. Then she finds some tourist of about 20 years and she has great sex, never regrets a minute of it. Now she is 25 (or something about that age) and she still feels it was great, only wishes that she has done it while she was 13.

Would you kill that guy as well? Why? First of all, how could he know how old was she, she could have said she is 16-17, only looks younger. Not everyone has the same sex instinct, somebody has stronger, somebody lighter. This is not something we can generalize. Kids today are growing up in a very strange environment, their role-models are Britney, Paris Hilton Kim Kardashian and similar women of questionable morality. If two people are in love, or they want to have sex, it is a normal part of their growing up, normal part of their relationship, normal part of their life. Even if one of them is younger than some book says it is OK. Of course, if there is a big difference in years, that is something else. Nobody can determine when a women or man are ready to have sex except themselves. Years have little to do with it, mental and physical readiness is what matters.

What you as a parent can do is teach your kids about protection, about the intercourse, about relationships, about life. Then they can judge for themselves more clearly and smarter.

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14-10-2011, 04:55 AM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
(13-10-2011 07:27 AM)bemore Wrote:  Society makes kids want to grow up faster.........they wish to appear more adult than they are but most of the time I dont think most kids are ready for the responsibility.

Are you sure? The concept of 'teenagers' is relatively recent, less than 60 years ago people would have left school at 14 and been working alongside adults. If anything society artificially extends childhood. In general people behave responsibly when they are held responsible for their actions.

(13-10-2011 07:31 AM)Peterkin Wrote:  Adults with kids is absolutely, unquestionably NOT okay.

Can you explain why? Or is this just another arbitrary, emotive moral conclusion. Is it wrong to be gay? Is it wrong the wear red shoes?

(13-10-2011 10:48 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  but I don't feel that someone who is above the age of 20 should be dating someone who is less than 18.

How ironic - teenagers are more likely to be coerced into having sex, or to have sex without contraception, with other teenagers. Adults make more responsible sexual partners.

(13-10-2011 12:41 PM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  They are not old enough to consider the repercussions nor handle them.

What 'repercussions'? Sex need not result in pregnancy or disease. The age of criminal responsibility in the USA ranges from 6-12, if children are old enough to be held accountable for crimes they must be old enough for sex.

(13-10-2011 09:31 PM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  Too many "children's" lives have been ruined because they are 14,15,16,17, with a child on the way.

This is caused by society's refusal to except sexuality in those aged under 18, resulting in a lack of education.
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14-10-2011, 05:06 AM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
(14-10-2011 04:55 AM)Banjofrog Wrote:  Are you sure? The concept of 'teenagers' is relatively recent, less than 60 years ago people would have left school at 14 and been working alongside adults. If anything society artificially extends childhood. In general people behave responsibly when they are held responsible for their actions.

Well I wasnt around 60 years ago so I cant comment on what things were like then.

I am however 30 years old and I can say as little as 20 years ago I was not aware of kids going around dressed/acting like they are now. I dont think caring parents would of allowed it.

I think there are more teenage pregnancies nowadays........that to me shows how irresponsible kids are with sex.

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14-10-2011, 05:39 AM
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
(14-10-2011 05:06 AM)bemore Wrote:  
(14-10-2011 04:55 AM)Banjofrog Wrote:  Are you sure? The concept of 'teenagers' is relatively recent, less than 60 years ago people would have left school at 14 and been working alongside adults. If anything society artificially extends childhood. In general people behave responsibly when they are held responsible for their actions.

Well I wasnt around 60 years ago so I cant comment on what things were like then.

I am however 30 years old and I can say as little as 20 years ago I was not aware of kids going around dressed/acting like they are now. I dont think caring parents would of allowed it.

I think there are more teenage pregnancies nowadays........that to me shows how irresponsible kids are with sex.

Did some of you ever think about the other reason somebody gets pregnant at the age of 16, let's say? It is not an accident every time, again, I have a few friends that were with a child at the age of 16 and the reason for that is that they wanted to get away from home, move out of their parents, so the most obvious way was to find somebody a bit older than them (20+) and get them to make them a baby. Next thing you know, they are married, with children and they do not live with their parents anymore. Some are married happily, some are divorced happily now, none of them regret what they did.

A lot of these things you all attribute to kids, are actually caused by parents, either for the lack of understanding for their kids, or the bad parenting, or something similar... Education and understanding is everything.

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14-10-2011, 07:22 AM (This post was last modified: 14-10-2011 07:37 AM by Azaraith.)
RE: Is it OK to have sex with kids?
(14-10-2011 04:51 AM)Filox Wrote:  OK, I see a lot of you think about this thread as something awful and disgusting. It is not, it is reality. Look, Lucradis, you say you would kill everyone who would come close to your kids. I presume you have a daughter, so I will give you a hypothetical situation, the one I know happened to someone very near me.

She is 13 years, does not look very older, but feels that way. She is horny. (sorry, but...) She really want to "do it", badly, it is all she thinks about, but she is afraid that everybody will think of her as a sloth. So some more time passes and now she is 14, nothing changed, she is still only thinking about sex. Then she finds some tourist of about 20 years and she has great sex, never regrets a minute of it. Now she is 25 (or something about that age) and she still feels it was great, only wishes that she has done it while she was 13.

Would you kill that guy as well? Why? First of all, how could he know how old was she, she could have said she is 16-17, only looks younger. Not everyone has the same sex instinct, somebody has stronger, somebody lighter. This is not something we can generalize. Kids today are growing up in a very strange environment, their role-models are Britney, Paris Hilton Kim Kardashian and similar women of questionable morality. If two people are in love, or they want to have sex, it is a normal part of their growing up, normal part of their relationship, normal part of their life. Even if one of them is younger than some book says it is OK. Of course, if there is a big difference in years, that is something else. Nobody can determine when a women or man are ready to have sex except themselves. Years have little to do with it, mental and physical readiness is what matters.

What you as a parent can do is teach your kids about protection, about the intercourse, about relationships, about life. Then they can judge for themselves more clearly and smarter.

If you can't tell that someone's 13, you have issues. If I were that tourist, I'd probably turn them down but if not I'd ask for ID (and make sure it's real). 16-17 will have ID, 13 won't.

Kids that young have the biological urge, but don't understand it. Just because they want to have sex doesn't mean they understand or can deal with the repercussions. I'm with the law on this one. 18 is still pretty young, but old enough to get a job and care for a kid and supposedly old enough to know the risks.


(14-10-2011 04:55 AM)Banjofrog Wrote:  
(13-10-2011 07:27 AM)bemore Wrote:  Society makes kids want to grow up faster.........they wish to appear more adult than they are but most of the time I dont think most kids are ready for the responsibility.

Are you sure? The concept of 'teenagers' is relatively recent, less than 60 years ago people would have left school at 14 and been working alongside adults. If anything society artificially extends childhood. In general people behave responsibly when they are held responsible for their actions.

What was normal 60 years ago doesn't matter at all today. 14 year olds are far less responsible and mature now than they were then. It was a very different world.

(13-10-2011 07:31 AM)Peterkin Wrote:  Adults with kids is absolutely, unquestionably NOT okay.

Can you explain why? Or is this just another arbitrary, emotive moral conclusion. Is it wrong to be gay? Is it wrong the wear red shoes?

Anyone can. Adults often have a position of power or influence over kids. The kids may submit or do things they otherwise wouldn't if pressured by an adult. An adult might not see it as pressuring, but to the kid everything is different.

(13-10-2011 10:48 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  but I don't feel that someone who is above the age of 20 should be dating someone who is less than 18.

How ironic - teenagers are more likely to be coerced into having sex, or to have sex without contraception, with other teenagers. Adults make more responsible sexual partners.

Ha... Not always, plus adults are more likely to spread STDs (having had more partners). Adults aren't always even intelligent.... How many refuse to use condoms because it "kills the mood" for them?

(13-10-2011 12:41 PM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  They are not old enough to consider the repercussions nor handle them.

What 'repercussions'? Sex need not result in pregnancy or disease. The age of criminal responsibility in the USA ranges from 6-12, if children are old enough to be held accountable for crimes they must be old enough for sex.

Having a freakin' kid of their own is a repercussion. No one at 14-17 is ready or able to take care of a kid yet (or very few that is). Contraception etc isn't infallible, especially when it isn't used...

(13-10-2011 09:31 PM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  Too many "children's" lives have been ruined because they are 14,15,16,17, with a child on the way.

This is caused by society's refusal to except sexuality in those aged under 18, resulting in a lack of education.


Of course. Kids at 14-17 can get jobs that pay enough to take care of a kid and are always mature, sensible individuals. If that's your experience, you have never met a normal teenager. Kids are impulsive, reckless and rarely think through everything. Kids think they are invincible and they can handle anything...

I suggest you put away the idea of having sex with a 13-17 year old right now. It will only lead to big problems. Find someone your own age and have them dress up like a school girl if that satisfies your fetish.

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