Is it okay not to pray?
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16-12-2014, 08:46 AM
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
I wrote a post about a similar experience I had with this at Thanksgiving. http://theheathensguide.com/public-praye...icroscope/
I don't take part in the prayer (I won't bow my head; I won't kneel, and I won't close my eyes), but I don't think there's any need for me to make a disturbance about it (or even really to comment on it). I think it's arrogant on their part when they want to have a prayer when there's no reason to assume that everyone's a Christian and every reason to expect diversity (my post was about this happening at work). But still, I find it curious more than offensive (and certainly a little irritating). In a private setting (someone's home or church), I think they have every right to their prayer, but I still don't find it rude not to participate. On the contrary, I would think it would be a little rude (on the basis of being blatantly disingenuous) if I were to participate.

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16-12-2014, 09:21 AM (This post was last modified: 16-12-2014 09:31 AM by Free.)
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
(12-12-2014 02:43 AM)Autumnflowers Wrote:  I was always told not wanting to pray at somebody else's house who believes in god is considered rude. Or going to church (I don't do anymore but used to) And not wanting to pray is considered rude. Iv'e never felt correct praying to a god that isn't mine it feels like i'm putting on a mask and acting like i'm christian myself.
I'm even told it's rude to not close your eyes while a prayer is going on in the house, if you're there then at least! close your eyes. Iv'e never done that either, people say i'm just ignorant or rude. But i feel like it's a mask, i want people to see me for me not for who i'm not and i feel i can be respectful and kind even without bowing my head to a god i don't know exists.

(Note: As of the moment i'm agnostic)
My question: Is it okay not to do everything they ask me to like pray or close my eyes?
Is it really rude or was i just raised a strange way iv'e always wondered and had trouble comprehending that idea of respect.

Just fake it.

Sometimes it's easier to avoid confrontation rather than create controversy. After all, you are in somebody else's house. Their house, their rules.

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16-12-2014, 10:15 AM
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
Their house, their rules...

Like when you're in my house, you will drink this liquid and tie yourself to the bed. The rules are the rules...
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16-12-2014, 10:19 AM
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
I just keep quiet, and eyeball which foods look ok or safe to eat and what I'll grab first.

If they call me out for not closing my eyes or some shit like that, I say nothing because they're the ones being rude and I won't return it. But if pressed I will point out to them that pointing out alleged rudeness is every bit as rude.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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16-12-2014, 12:56 PM
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
Half my wife's family is Catholic. We have family dinners for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. They always say grace. I remain still and respectfully silent and try not to create a distraction during their prayer. But I keep my hands by my sides, head up, eyes wide open, and I refrain from all the Catholic hand-jive that goes on. It's well known in the family that I am "non-religious," and they seem to respect that and I respect their right to not be disturbed when they pray. I feel like I can respect the people praying without participating in the prayer itself.
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16-12-2014, 01:23 PM
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
I am usually good till one of kids spies me looking around and smiles, then it turns into holding in giggles.

We arent trying to be rude, actually trying really, really hard not to be rude.

sort of like when you have to hold completely still, you cant do it while thinking "don't move, be really still" and you end up wiggling all over.

I find it extremely difficult to hold in a smile when one of my kids is grinning at me. eh, I get it from my mother. Wink


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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16-12-2014, 03:05 PM
RE: Is it okay not to pray?
(16-12-2014 10:19 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I just keep quiet, and eyeball which foods look ok or safe to eat and what I'll grab first.

If they call me out for not closing my eyes or some shit like that, I say nothing because they're the ones being rude and I won't return it. But if pressed I will point out to them that pointing out alleged rudeness is every bit as rude.

And if they call you out for not closing your eyes this means that THEIR eyes weren't closed either. Laughat Nah-nah-na-na-naaaaaah.

I was just thinking, I don't think I've ever prayed in my life and, well, I'm still alive and healthy and doing fine.

The few times I've been in a situation where there is a prayed during a meal I do the same as you or look at my fingernails to look for snags and which nail needs some filing.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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