Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
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14-02-2012, 04:58 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
My home life was quiet. My mum and dad work in the medical profession. They were not around at home a lot. I had a maid to take care of me. No siblings, only a few cousins came to stay over a few times. I guess it was really awkward for me to express affection to my mum and dad(Really awkward for me to say I love you or even sorry). I am too shy and a social retard for my own good. I had a big house when I was young and 3 big boxes of toys, so never went out. I still don't. I get anxious whenever my friends ask me to come over to their house. I even lie(every time) to avoid to go their house. There was study that shy children may have an internet addiction(I do). Was exposed to sex at 7. It wasn't me, my older friends at the time where talking about sex, I felt excluded and alone because I couldn't interact with them. So I googled it and found 'sites' in hope of impressing them. My mum and dad found out and shouted at me. I felt guilty because I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. I still feel guilty and can be depressed for days and can cry a few times.
I heard that people who are shy in real-life situations may be drawn to the anonymity of the Internet and believe they can be their ‘true selves’ when online.
Urrggh!

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14-02-2012, 08:01 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I will never understand why people feel sad and even mourn when someone they didnt know, such as a celebrity, dies. How does that make any sense at all?

Personally I don't feel anything when someone I dont know dies. For instance, I was watching TV when 9-11 occurred and I saw the buildings crash, but I didnt really feel anything. Yet everyone else seemed devastated for some off reason.

155,000 people die every single day on earth, and chances are you and I didnt know any of them.

Why should I have any more sense of attachment to the people I seen on tv as opposed to the other ~1.8 ppl that die every second? Just doesnt make any sense to me....
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14-02-2012, 11:36 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(13-02-2012 02:56 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I've had family members die. Friends and others that weren't friends but those that I knew. Athletes, celebs, etc. I've never once felt sad about someone dying. I have a very strong sense of empathy and compassion for the living but death just doesn't bother me. Even pets I've had that died didn't even make me frown.

In addition, I've also noticed that I don't seem to create the friendships that others seem to have. I have a lot of friends but none that I would call a best friend. Perhaps being thrown out of my house as a child so much and attending 9 schools in 12 years, then being in the Navy where people come and go like customers in a gas station has affected me psychologically. Aside from my wife and child, will I ever be able to have the kind of relationship with someone that just crushes me when they die? And if so, would that necessarily be a good thing?

I'm much the same way... I don't have many close friends. I also didn't shed a tear at my grandma's funeral... Had to manufacture sad face, as I didn't "feel" anything instinctively or as a reaction.

Better without God, and happier too.
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15-02-2012, 03:49 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I CAN'T FEEL SYMPATHY WHEN I SEE POOR CHILDREN STARVING...?

You know the ads that tell that to donate to their charity in order of the people below poverty line get some water or food. I can't feel sympathy. Even if their sad doe eyes are on the TV. I just can't feel it. I sound like a heartless bastard...

As for the mourning, sometimes people mourn differently. If you can't grieve, don't worry you are perfectly fine!

Quote:Q: Why do certain people not exhibit any grief patterns?
A: Up until recently, it hasn't really been known. Most investigators in the field, I think, would say that people who don't show grief have something wrong with them — they either are defensive, or cold, or they never cared about the person to begin with, or they weren't attached. I had argued no, maybe they're just healthy people. We followed a group of people in Michigan over six years in a bereavement study where we knew a lot about the people before the loss occurred. We showed that about half the sample showed no symptoms at any point in the study. They just were not depressed before or after the loss, and we found that they were healthy people. They had fine relationships. The interviewers did not find them cold or aloof, and they did not score high on a measure we had of avoidant attachment. That doesn't mean that a healthy person won't grief also, but it seemed that they [a person who feels no grief] might feel sad, they might miss the person, but they keep functioning. We know that the people who don't show grief, it's fair to say, are healthy people.
I got it from this website

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15-02-2012, 03:57 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I don't really feel anything when I see people on TV. I don't know whether I see that as an overly strange thing though. I kinda think that it's expected to feel very little for someone with whom you have no knowledge of and no attachment to.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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15-02-2012, 04:14 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I haven't grieved, yet.
When my great grandmother died (I was 10 or so) I did not cry and I did not understand why other people did cry. I feld sad because now she was gone and I understood that death means no coming back. But there was no crying, no sobbing, no bad dreams etc.
When my bunny died, I was very attached to it, I did cry a little and I was sad that day and also sad for a few days but it was no grieving involved. I cleaned up the cage and put it away and I missed my bunny waking me up in the morning but that's it.
When one of my guineapigs died, I went to put it under the earth at a nice tree, lit a candle and was happy that it would move on now (was still a witch by that time). I was sad of course because I loved it and my other guineapig was searching the case for it and a little depressed for a few days, but we where fine both.

When it is about advertisements, movies, people I do not relate to I can seem very cold. But that is simply my rational mind working. I do see suffering everywhere and in many forms but I set enough emotional distance between me and those things to not go insane from it. Works well and is very healthy for the mind.

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15-02-2012, 04:31 PM (This post was last modified: 15-02-2012 04:36 PM by germanyt.)
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I'm gonna tell you guys something that only my wife knows. I find it odd considering I don't grieve.

I cried at the end of 9 Months when Hugh Grant was dancing with his new baby to try and put him to sleep. I've turned into a complete titty baby since my daughter was born. I nearly cried during the Chevrolet commercial where the kids got the dad's old car back. WTF is wrong with me?

























I'm so ashamed.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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15-02-2012, 04:37 PM (This post was last modified: 15-02-2012 04:41 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I'm gonna tell you guys something that only my wife knows. I find it odd considering I don't grieve.

I cried at the end of 9 Months when Hugh Grant was dancing with his new baby to try and put him to sleep.

Given that you probably just came off a cycle where you didn't properly support your HPTA with hCG and arimidex, your testosterone levels were likely lower than your wife's while your estrogen levels were probably higher, nothing shocking here.

(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I'm so ashamed.

But don't let that excuse diminish that sense of shame you so deservedly feel.

I am us and we is me. ... bitches.
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15-02-2012, 04:44 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(15-02-2012 04:37 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I'm gonna tell you guys something that only my wife knows. I find it odd considering I don't grieve.

I cried at the end of 9 Months when Hugh Grant was dancing with his new baby to try and put him to sleep.

Given that you probably just came off a cycle where you didn't properly support your HPTA with hCG and arimidex, your testosterone levels were likely lower than your wife's while your estrogen levels were probably higher, nothing shocking here.

(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I'm so ashamed.

But don't let that excuse diminish that sense of shame you so deservedly feel.


I used Adex and proper PCT. Nolva and Clomid. Even had aromasin on hand just in case.


Still ashamed.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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15-02-2012, 05:22 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(15-02-2012 04:44 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I used Adex and proper PCT. Nolva and Clomid. Even had aromasin on hand just in case.

Still ashamed.

Yeah, think I'd be even more ashamed after that bit. Now I got no excuse.

I am us and we is me. ... bitches.
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