Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
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15-02-2012, 06:30 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I cried at the end of 9 Months when Hugh Grant was dancing with his new baby to try and put him to sleep. I've turned into a complete titty baby since my daughter was born. I nearly cried during the Chevrolet commercial where the kids got the dad's old car back. WTF is wrong with me?

GT, your reactions are completely normal, given your background. Raising a child raises a lot of strong emotions, and even though you've got most of yours tamped down, you're going to feel the ones related to your kid. The experience of parenting your child probably has you the most emotionally open that you have been for a very long time - that's probably why you opened this thread and why these things are on your mind. Having a kid also makes you vulnerable, and that in and of itself is going to make you more emotional.

Raising a child also forces you to relive your own childhood. When you do things with your kid, you're consciously or unconsciously going to wonder what it was like for your dad when he did the same thing, or you may grieve from knowing that he didn't do them if that is the case. You may get a better sense of what your dad was going through, and you're probably going to unearth some resentment that he didn't do more for you. When you see a movie with a dad and a kid interacting you're going to experience it from both sides, as a dad and as a kid.

The Chevy commercial is very moving. I'm sure it makes a lot of people cry.
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16-02-2012, 03:28 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(13-02-2012 02:56 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I've had family members die. Friends and others that weren't friends but those that I knew. Athletes, celebs, etc. I've never once felt sad about someone dying. I have a very strong sense of empathy and compassion for the living but death just doesn't bother me. Even pets I've had that died didn't even make me frown.

In addition, I've also noticed that I don't seem to create the friendships that others seem to have. I have a lot of friends but none that I would call a best friend. Perhaps being thrown out of my house as a child so much and attending 9 schools in 12 years, then being in the Navy where people come and go like customers in a gas station has affected me psychologically. Aside from my wife and child, will I ever be able to have the kind of relationship with someone that just crushes me when they die? And if so, would that necessarily be a good thing?

Ya know, for the shit you give me to think like me... I wanna percentage of the take. Angel

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16-02-2012, 03:44 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(16-02-2012 03:28 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  
(13-02-2012 02:56 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I've had family members die. Friends and others that weren't friends but those that I knew. Athletes, celebs, etc. I've never once felt sad about someone dying. I have a very strong sense of empathy and compassion for the living but death just doesn't bother me. Even pets I've had that died didn't even make me frown.

In addition, I've also noticed that I don't seem to create the friendships that others seem to have. I have a lot of friends but none that I would call a best friend. Perhaps being thrown out of my house as a child so much and attending 9 schools in 12 years, then being in the Navy where people come and go like customers in a gas station has affected me psychologically. Aside from my wife and child, will I ever be able to have the kind of relationship with someone that just crushes me when they die? And if so, would that necessarily be a good thing?

Ya know, for the shit you give me to think like me... I wanna percentage of the take. Angel

It's all out of love brother.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

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16-02-2012, 04:14 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I got family and friends and peeps I love... only problem I have is a world without Gwynnies.

It ain't about nothing other than death being something different. Universe is a ray, not a segment. Shit don't end. Wink

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16-02-2012, 08:20 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(15-02-2012 06:30 PM)Jeff Wrote:  
(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I cried at the end of 9 Months when Hugh Grant was dancing with his new baby to try and put him to sleep. I've turned into a complete titty baby since my daughter was born. I nearly cried during the Chevrolet commercial where the kids got the dad's old car back. WTF is wrong with me?

GT, your reactions are completely normal, given your background. ... The Chevy commercial is very moving. I'm sure it makes a lot of people cry.

Jesus Christ, Jeff, after that advice I'm gonna have to go give myself a second dose of testosterone. Get a hormonal panel Tim. ... Not sure there's room for two GirlyMen here. Wink

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
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23-02-2012, 02:04 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(16-02-2012 08:20 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(15-02-2012 06:30 PM)Jeff Wrote:  
(15-02-2012 04:31 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I cried at the end of 9 Months when Hugh Grant was dancing with his new baby to try and put him to sleep. I've turned into a complete titty baby since my daughter was born. I nearly cried during the Chevrolet commercial where the kids got the dad's old car back. WTF is wrong with me?

GT, your reactions are completely normal, given your background. ... The Chevy commercial is very moving. I'm sure it makes a lot of people cry.

Jesus Christ, Jeff, after that advice I'm gonna have to go give myself a second dose of testosterone. Get a hormonal panel Tim. ... Not sure there's room for two GirlyMen here. Wink


LOL. I'm still about 6 months from being able to cycle again. Need to get back in a rythym and save several hundred dollars to afford it.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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27-04-2013, 02:20 AM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I live with my great grandmother currently as a caretaker. I know she could die any moment. She's DNR, so when she does go, I have to stand there and watch. I'm glad that death doesn't really affect me, otherwise I wouldn't get any sleep at all.
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27-04-2013, 07:13 AM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(27-04-2013 02:20 AM)DerekS Wrote:  I live with my great grandmother currently as a caretaker. I know she could die any moment. She's DNR, so when she does go, I have to stand there and watch. I'm glad that death doesn't really affect me, otherwise I wouldn't get any sleep at all.

Death affects you. It all depends on who dies at what point in your life and how close you were.

This death may not affect you much now. It will be a part of your reference system though, forever, and as you see more death your brain will bring it back up for comparison and reference.

Remember, mourning and grief have nothing to do with the departed him or herself. Probably your great grandma is ready to go and it will be a good thing for her.

Grief has to do with the survivors and how big a part the dead person played in their life. If daily activities constantly involve that person for decades, you will grieve. Grief is about a recurring void left in your life. It is about rebuilding your life after one of the major foundations has disappeared.

Your great grandma is not in that role in your life and the encounter is fairly brief, I assume you have not been the care taker for decades.

So, yes, her death will not affect you very much, although at some point you may appreciate that you had the experience. It will come in handy as you get old yourself.

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03-05-2013, 06:07 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
I've mourned dogs, cats, even rats. Somehow, though, I've never mourned a human being. Undecided

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03-05-2013, 08:39 PM
RE: Is it weird that I've never mourned a death?
(03-05-2013 06:07 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I've mourned dogs, cats, even rats. Somehow, though, I've never mourned a human being. Undecided
Same for my first dog, but I did cry when my dad died. Not when several other relatives and friends died, though. People either think I'm a heartless bitch or that I'm emotionally repressed, or I get a long, unwanted rambling shit about how "brave" and "stoic" and "levelheaded" I am. I got really sick of that when my dad died. (I didn't cry in front of people, but I did cry.)

In addition to what some others have said, I want to point out that people respond to things differently when it comes to emotions. It may just be the way you are. I think of it as people having different levels of emotions. Some can crank it up to 11; while I only get to a 1 or 2, and very rarely.
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