Is suicide selfish?
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29-01-2015, 07:28 AM
Is suicide selfish?
I didn't know where to post this thread, hopefully this is okay.

I've seen some people comment on suicide as being a selfish act. The reason they give has some validity, family/friends etc. Some arguments a less valid and very simplistic e.g "people are getting cancer and this person kills themself? selfish!"

It's extremely frustrating as somebody who has gone through depression, who's family have a history of bi-polar and depressive infliction to see such a narrow view on such a complex and personal issue.

I would argue that it is not selfish, and taking the view that it is, is a contradiction. Though I do understand the suffering their family go through. Death is going to come to you at some point and your friends and family will mourn for you. It make's no logical sense to prolong your own suffering in order to prolong their grief when it is an inevitability. (Though a parent should never have to experience the death of their child.)

What are your views on this subject?

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29-01-2015, 07:40 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
Yes, suicide is selfish. You (generic; non-specific "you") are doing it for yourself; not anyone else. Then again, others wanting you to live with depression is also selfish.

Note: I believe every possible action is selfish in nature, so don't read "bad" instead of "selfish". If I say "selfish", I mean "selfish".

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29-01-2015, 07:42 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
(29-01-2015 07:28 AM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  I didn't know where to post this thread, hopefully this is okay.

I've seen some people comment on suicide as being a selfish act. The reason they give has some validity, family/friends etc. Some arguments a less valid and very simplistic e.g "people are getting cancer and this person kills themself? selfish!"

It's extremely frustrating as somebody who has gone through depression, who's family have a history of bi-polar and depressive infliction to see such a narrow view on such a complex and personal issue.

I would argue that it is not selfish, and taking the view that it is, is a contradiction. Though I do understand the suffering their family go through. Death is going to come to you at some point and your friends and family will mourn for you. It make's no logical sense to prolong your own suffering in order to prolong their grief when it is an inevitability. (Though a parent should never have to experience the death of their child.)

What are your views on this subject?

In my poorly educated view, I equate "selfishness" as the opposite of "duty", so for me, it depends on how you define your duty.

I have considered suicide in the past. What is interesting is that today, I'd consider it against a duty I feel I have for my son to be with him as he becomes a man.

I suspect the answer for others will be different, even depending on where they are in their life journey.

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29-01-2015, 07:44 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
(29-01-2015 07:40 AM)One Above All Wrote:  Yes, suicide is selfish. You (generic; non-specific "you") are doing it for yourself; not anyone else. Then again, others wanting you to live with depression is also selfish.

Note: I believe every possible action is selfish in nature, so don't read "bad" instead of "selfish". If I say "selfish", I mean "selfish".

Well put. Do you think it's a bad kind of selfish though? As there is natural selfishness in us all.

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29-01-2015, 07:46 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
(29-01-2015 07:42 AM)gofish! Wrote:  
(29-01-2015 07:28 AM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  I didn't know where to post this thread, hopefully this is okay.

I've seen some people comment on suicide as being a selfish act. The reason they give has some validity, family/friends etc. Some arguments a less valid and very simplistic e.g "people are getting cancer and this person kills themself? selfish!"

It's extremely frustrating as somebody who has gone through depression, who's family have a history of bi-polar and depressive infliction to see such a narrow view on such a complex and personal issue.

I would argue that it is not selfish, and taking the view that it is, is a contradiction. Though I do understand the suffering their family go through. Death is going to come to you at some point and your friends and family will mourn for you. It make's no logical sense to prolong your own suffering in order to prolong their grief when it is an inevitability. (Though a parent should never have to experience the death of their child.)

What are your views on this subject?

In my poorly educated view, I equate "selfishness" as the opposite of "duty", so for me, it depends on how you define your duty.

I have considered suicide in the past. What is interesting is that today, I'd consider it against a duty I feel I have for my son to be with him as he becomes a man.

I suspect the answer for others will be different, even depending on where they are in their life journey.

Variation of perspectives is a point of mine. You cannot wholly say "suicide is selfish" (In the bad sense of selfishness).

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29-01-2015, 07:51 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
I'm pro-choice.

If you want to off yourself - there's not much anybody can do about it - barring duct-taping you to the floor so you can't hurt yourself......

That aside - your motivation will mean quite a bit to those people left holding the bag.

If you're suffering extreme physical pain from a terminal illness - and while missing you, everyone will understand - you're providing relief to yourself - and to some degree to them.....

If you do it simply because you're looking for attention - people will think you're an asshole.

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29-01-2015, 07:53 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
My grandpa on my dads side shot himself a few years back. I never thought he was selfish, because he was very mentally ill near the end. He thought he saw demons and stuff and he obviously had extreme anxiety- I would too if I thought demons were after me!

Not only did my grandpa kill himself, but so did my great grandpa and my cousin. Both on my dads side. No surprise, I've been known to have those type of thoughts before. It's actually been better now that I'm an atheist, because the fact that I'm prone to depression is no longer a spiritual thing. Now I think of it as brain chemistry. Although depression can be more complicated than that, I now have more of a sense of control.

Anyway, it is very likely that the person who commits suicide thinks he's doing his family a favor. The times I've thought about ending it, I'll usually feel that others in my life would be better off.

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29-01-2015, 08:05 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
(29-01-2015 07:44 AM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(29-01-2015 07:40 AM)One Above All Wrote:  Yes, suicide is selfish. You (generic; non-specific "you") are doing it for yourself; not anyone else. Then again, others wanting you to live with depression is also selfish.

Note: I believe every possible action is selfish in nature, so don't read "bad" instead of "selfish". If I say "selfish", I mean "selfish".

Well put. Do you think it's a bad kind of selfish though? As there is natural selfishness in us all.

I am unsure, and I don't think that question should even be asked. A person has the right to control their lives - including whether or not they want to end it.

The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
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29-01-2015, 08:20 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
Of course it is selfish - you are doing it for your own self.

Do you mean to ask whether it is inconsiderate? That totally depends and is very subjective.

If you have dependents, your departure will leave them in a worse position.

Does this now make you inconsiderate? Maybe not if you are afflicted with something that affects their lives negatively. Or if you are terminally ill and headed for a long struggle ending with death. Or if you are going down the path of Alzheimer. You could be doing them a big favor, even if they don't see it that way. Care givers suffer right along with the ones they care for, and then some. And then the patient dies and the care giver lives with the horrific memory of their decline.

My rule of thumb here is: No long term solutions to short term problems.

Life takes many turns over time, and heart break and many situations that seem unbearable today will resolve themselves next week. Most times there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Usually thoughts of suicide come and pass. In situations where it is clear that the situation can only deteriorate (as in terminal illness) I would call the person who wants to deny you an exit with dignity the selfish one.

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29-01-2015, 08:28 AM
RE: Is suicide selfish?
(29-01-2015 08:20 AM)Dom Wrote:  Of course it is selfish - you are doing it for your own self.

Do you mean to ask whether it is inconsiderate? That totally depends and is very subjective.

If you have dependents, your departure will leave them in a worse position.

Does this now make you inconsiderate? Maybe not if you are afflicted with something that affects their lives negatively. Or if you are terminally ill and headed for a long struggle ending with death. Or if you are going down the path of Alzheimer. You could be doing them a big favor, even if they don't see it that way. Care givers suffer right along with the ones they care for, and then some. And then the patient dies and the care giver lives with the horrific memory of their decline.

My rule of thumb here is: No long term solutions to short term problems.

Life takes many turns over time, and heart break and many situations that seem unbearable today will resolve themselves next week. Most times there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Usually thoughts of suicide come and pass. In situations where it is clear that the situation can only deteriorate (as in terminal illness) I would call the person who wants to deny you an exit with dignity the selfish one.

How about if the person in question had no friends, family or acquaintances, and drown himself at sea where nobody would ever know he died. Is the persons suicide still a selfish act? Because selfishness itself is not just an action for ones self, it includes lack of considering of others.

I do agree that my question is a pretty bad question.

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