Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
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07-01-2014, 06:30 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Hey, I live in New Zealand, I flat with other people and have lived in several different flats.
Only had one Christian though, which ultimately did cause problems but nothing a good helping of ignoring each other for a solid month couldn't solve.

It's pretty hard to gauge what people are like when you interview them, you don't know them truly until you live with the cunts.
I suppose the only thing I could think of is to ask if they have a problem with various religions.
ie: "Will other people's religions, including atheism, bother you?"
They'll likely say something along the lines of "no, I'm a Christian/Atheist but other faiths don't bother me"
or
"no, it will provide me with a challenge to save their soul from eternal hell fire"

The later, obviously, being the nutjob you wanna avoid.

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07-01-2014, 07:00 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 06:30 PM)Pippen Wrote:  
(07-01-2014 05:29 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  Maybe you don't need to ask. Instead make sure it's obvious that you are an atheist , I believe that they will offer their view rather quickly.

But that would be like going "Oh and yeah by the way I am straight. Is that a problem for you?" Just too weird. It's just who I am. It's my default position and I shouldn't need to bring it up. If anything the onus is on them to go "Oh and by they way I am fairly active in my Church. Would you be OK if I had some friends round for Bible study?" I'd be fine with that. They can study the Bible till the cows come home and it doesn't bother me. Just something that lets you know. I.e one roommate says to me "By the way I'm gay. Is that a problem?" I'm like "I knew that when I opened the door and we wouldn't be here an hour later shooting the breeze if it was."

If the table were turned and I was in a society were religion was the norm and you had a different MO then I would go "You seem great and I really like the house but just letting you know I don't share your beliefs. Is that going to be a problem?' Then they decide if it is or it isn't.

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07-01-2014, 07:12 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 05:25 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  And I almost forgot!

welcome to TTA.


Thank you. Oh had I found this place when the last roommate moved in and brought her Evangelical Hard Core Born Again Prosperity Gospel Former Dutch Reformed Mother from overseas with her for a month. I work from home and not an hour went by without her trying to 'save' me.

Her "Read your Bible!".
Me "Yeah. I have. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Her "Isn't it terrible what they are doing to the Christians in China?"
Me "Better than what they do to their female babies"

Me "Did you enjoy your lunch with the women's group from church?"
Her "Yes. they were very nice they have all been saved already so I won't be going back. My work is here with you"
Me "Ok"

Her "I need to ask you what your beliefs are"
Me "Well you can but you won't like the answer and I think you can pretty much guess them already. You are a nice lady and I have no intention of offending you so maybe we should just talk about that contract you were drawing up as they need that STAT."

Other Roomie "Hey you know that art dealer Peter that was here? Turns out he has been given 6 months to live"
Me "Oh that sucks. He is lovely"
Her "HAS HE BEEN SAVED?!"
Other Roomie "Nah. He's pretty much fucked"

Her "The pastor said only 3 percent of people in this country go to Church each week"
Me "Really? That many? I suppose a fair amount of those are private school kids who are forced to go so the school keep their 'Special Character' funding from the government."

Her "We are all born of sin"
Me "I should hope so. Not much fun otherwise"

Her "It has been lovely meeting you and staying here. I will pray for you. I want you to know Christ and the freedom you can receive from him"
Me "Thank you. I know that has been said with the best of intentions but I wouldn't spend too much time on me. Think of the Muslims."

Sorry to all the Muslims.
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07-01-2014, 07:27 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 06:30 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Hey, I live in New Zealand, I flat with other people and have lived in several different flats.
Only had one Christian though, which ultimately did cause problems but nothing a good helping of ignoring each other for a solid month couldn't solve.

It's pretty hard to gauge what people are like when you interview them, you don't know them truly until you live with the cunts.
I suppose the only thing I could think of is to ask if they have a problem with various religions.
ie: "Will other people's religions, including atheism, bother you?"
They'll likely say something along the lines of "no, I'm a Christian/Atheist but other faiths don't bother me"
or
"no, it will provide me with a challenge to save their soul from eternal hell fire"

The later, obviously, being the nutjob you wanna avoid.

Cheers. Maybe it is just something you have to call them on straight up. I mean some people you can just tell. Years ago in Welly I had some fool in full camo come to look at our amazing place and he brought his dog 'Rommel'. I was like. "Yeah. One flattie is Samoan and the other one is Maori. This could be a problem." and he was "Nah. It will be fine. This place is mint!". NZ has the world most laid back or either the laziest Neo Nazis in the world.
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07-01-2014, 07:42 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Step one: print huge pics with shit like "atheism rocks"
step 2: place it against the walls
step 3:invite potential roommate in the room with obvious atheist decoration
step 4: if person starts religious discussion, repeat step 3
step 5:????
Step 6. Profit

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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07-01-2014, 07:44 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Oh,and welcome to TTA

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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07-01-2014, 07:51 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 04:38 PM)Pippen Wrote:  If they are a Christian?

Hi. This is my first post, hopefully it is in the right place. I'm posting on these boards because there seems to be a few Christians here too and I would like there view on how they would see it. Sorry if it is a bit long.

Basically I am an Atheist. Always have been always will be. I'm in NZ which is one of the least religious countries in the world. Christians are pretty thin on the ground here and I would be hard pressed to name 10 I know personally and I know a lot of people. Hell, I even went to a Presbyterian boarding school for 5 years and there wasn't a single religious person there the whole time. I even think the Chaplain was a closet Atheist. It's just that kind of place.

So when looking for a new roommate it is a pretty safe bet that they will be a godless heathen like me. You'd think. Anyway my last 3 roommates have all turned out to be Christians of the happy clappy born again type. I only find this out after they move in. I have nothing against their faith. I am more than happy for them. It's just not my thing.

I do find however that their world view is a bit screwy and it ends up causing me problems. They seem to think that paying rent is voluntary and when they get themselves into stupid situations instead of trying to find a practical solution they will pray about it for guidance. I know if I was having financial problems I would go and see my accountant, not some broke church pastor who tells them to have faith and the Lord will provide. It's almost like because they have been 'saved' it doesn't matter if the dick people around or have to take responsibility for their own lives. It's like an ongoing theme with them. It might seem like a making broad generalizations, but this is simply my experience.

So basically when interviewing people I want to find out if they are Christians, but in a way that isn't insulting or without having to explain that I am not discriminating on the grounds of their faith, but their approach to life, neither of which sounds very polite.

If there are an Christians on here reading this, how would you feel about being asked this? I don't see it as discrimination. I'm just trying to avoid anymore problems. Also is there a subtle way of doing it so it isn't so obvious?

"This may be an awkward or intrusive question, but due to past experiences I feel it is necessary for me to ask of your religious convictions, if you do not wish to answer, that is fine, but my last room mates were frequently in trouble financially and it was often affecting me, and seemingly rooted in their religion. I only ask as a precaution for that contingency. If you do believe anything, I won't infringe on your rights and as part of that I wont discount you solely on that alone, to be absolutely clear."

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07-01-2014, 07:53 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
"what church do you go to? " ,"what denomination do you belong to?" or "will you kep saying "you need to be saved from hell?"

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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07-01-2014, 07:56 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Also,i think you are shoving all xians over a comb because you had a few bad experienced. How some1 manages their money isnt dependant of their faith. If all xians were loasy with their money,we would be in a lot of trouble

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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07-01-2014, 08:04 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Ask them if they'd accepted Jesus as there personal Lord and Savior with pamphlet in hand. Tongue

I'd just ask them outright. If they say yes, find out more about their beliefs and worldview with followup questions.

You could also just ask them if they mind living with an atheist. If they are an atheist or non-believer they will likely volunteer that information. If not they may reveal their religion, but even if they don't, they are more than likely Christian.

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