Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
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07-01-2014, 08:13 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 04:38 PM)Pippen Wrote:  If they are a Christian?

Hi. This is my first post, hopefully it is in the right place. I'm posting on these boards because there seems to be a few Christians here too and I would like there view on how they would see it. Sorry if it is a bit long.

Basically I am an Atheist. Always have been always will be. I'm in NZ which is one of the least religious countries in the world. Christians are pretty thin on the ground here and I would be hard pressed to name 10 I know personally and I know a lot of people. Hell, I even went to a Presbyterian boarding school for 5 years and there wasn't a single religious person there the whole time. I even think the Chaplain was a closet Atheist. It's just that kind of place.

So when looking for a new roommate it is a pretty safe bet that they will be a godless heathen like me. You'd think. Anyway my last 3 roommates have all turned out to be Christians of the happy clappy born again type. I only find this out after they move in. I have nothing against their faith. I am more than happy for them. It's just not my thing.

I do find however that their world view is a bit screwy and it ends up causing me problems. They seem to think that paying rent is voluntary and when they get themselves into stupid situations instead of trying to find a practical solution they will pray about it for guidance. I know if I was having financial problems I would go and see my accountant, not some broke church pastor who tells them to have faith and the Lord will provide. It's almost like because they have been 'saved' it doesn't matter if the dick people around or have to take responsibility for their own lives. It's like an ongoing theme with them. It might seem like a making broad generalizations, but this is simply my experience.

So basically when interviewing people I want to find out if they are Christians, but in a way that isn't insulting or without having to explain that I am not discriminating on the grounds of their faith, but their approach to life, neither of which sounds very polite.

If there are an Christians on here reading this, how would you feel about being asked this? I don't see it as discrimination. I'm just trying to avoid anymore problems. Also is there a subtle way of doing it so it isn't so obvious?

Just flat out ask them. It's a lifestyle

I once was asked if I was kosher when applying for an available room. Nothing against me if I wasn't, but we just could live together since I would have to adhere to keep the house kosher. It's a lifestyle and would cause problems if I wasn't.


Just ask. It's YOUR place. You decide who lives there with you.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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07-01-2014, 08:16 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 05:22 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I have no clue about the laws in NZ, but in the US you can't really ask those things.

"tell me about yourself."
"do you do any volunteer or community service type work?"
"what do you do in your free time?"
"is there anything that you are passionate about?"
"how do you feel about alternate lifestyles?"

ask about their political views and/or current events

no answer by itself will tell you, but when you start putting all the answers together you should get a hunch of what might be going on.
In the US he can certainly ask that!! Discrimination only applies to businesses with more than 50 employees

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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07-01-2014, 08:21 PM (This post was last modified: 07-01-2014 08:25 PM by TheGulegon.)
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Is there a law against being discriminative over who you allow to live in your home?
There are here for entities calling themselves businesses & corporations who hire employees, but I know nothing about Landlord/Renter laws where you're at. Forgotten any I might have known here in the U.S.
If you're not somehow legally bound not to, I say ask 'em outright. Let everyone know, right off the bat, christians need not apply!!

[edit] Mind you, you don't have to be rude! Just tell them you'd prefer to live with like minded people, so as to cause the least amount of problems! It's your house, your prerogative!

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07-01-2014, 08:30 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 07:56 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  Also,i think you are shoving all xians over a comb because you had a few bad experienced. How some1 manages their money isnt dependant of their faith. If all xians were loasy with their money,we would be in a lot of trouble

They are just so bloody useless with it. No joke. One of them came home and they were $1000 bucks behind in rent (yes I know that is my fault for being so slack) and he was telling me this lovely story about how he was at the supermarket and he heard a little kid asking his mother is they could get steak rather than sausages just this once. The Jesus spoke to him and he went and spent $100 buying steaks and stuff for them (shit is expensive here) and how good he felt doing it. All I could do was stare at him going "So you do have your rent money then?"

Ummm. Yeah. Glad you have had some happy joy stuff for today but do you really expect me to be enthralled at your largess when you say you have no money to keep a roof over your head? Essentially I brought that kid his steak and I can be damn sure he never got any of it. It would be savaloy soup for him that night.

I help people. I give homeless people a place to stay for months on end. I get the government to change their policies once off. But I only do so when I have met my own obligations and it doesn't impinge on other people. Religious people have no shame on impinging. They just don't care. That is why I want to avoid them.
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07-01-2014, 09:05 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 08:21 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Is there a law against being discriminative over who you allow to live in your home?
There are here for entities calling themselves businesses & corporations who hire employees, but I know nothing about Landlord/Renter laws where you're at. Forgotten any I might have known here in the U.S.
If you're not somehow legally bound not to, I say ask 'em outright. Let everyone know, right off the bat, christians need not apply!!

[edit] Mind you, you don't have to be rude! Just tell them you'd prefer to live with like minded people, so as to cause the least amount of problems! It's your house, your prerogative!

Yes it is. It can't be the worst thing in the world to ask. "Look do you mind if I ask if you are religious? Just I have been dicked around by people like that in the past and i just want someone that is cool and has their shit together."

Maybe I just need to harden up.

The religion doesn't bother me. It is the worldview that I have a problem with. "I'm Saved and Special and I can pretty much do what I want. Society is nothing as long as I have Jesus" That kind of shit.
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07-01-2014, 10:49 PM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Just ask them.

You have the right to discriminate against potential roommates. Or "flatmates" as you kiwi's call them.Tongue
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08-01-2014, 02:04 AM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
(07-01-2014 07:27 PM)Pippen Wrote:  
(07-01-2014 06:30 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Hey, I live in New Zealand, I flat with other people and have lived in several different flats.
Only had one Christian though, which ultimately did cause problems but nothing a good helping of ignoring each other for a solid month couldn't solve.

It's pretty hard to gauge what people are like when you interview them, you don't know them truly until you live with the cunts.
I suppose the only thing I could think of is to ask if they have a problem with various religions.
ie: "Will other people's religions, including atheism, bother you?"
They'll likely say something along the lines of "no, I'm a Christian/Atheist but other faiths don't bother me"
or
"no, it will provide me with a challenge to save their soul from eternal hell fire"

The later, obviously, being the nutjob you wanna avoid.

Cheers. Maybe it is just something you have to call them on straight up. I mean some people you can just tell. Years ago in Welly I had some fool in full camo come to look at our amazing place and he brought his dog 'Rommel'. I was like. "Yeah. One flattie is Samoan and the other one is Maori. This could be a problem." and he was "Nah. It will be fine. This place is mint!". NZ has the world most laid back or either the laziest Neo Nazis in the world.

Lol, I live in Wellington, I can't say I know any neo-nazi's to comment.
Yea, just ask them straight up. People don't mind, and if they're offended do you really want them living with you anyway?

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08-01-2014, 02:15 AM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
I do not, nor will I ever understand, what could possibly compel anyone to want to be a neo-Nazi.

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08-01-2014, 02:27 AM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Just interrupt randomly to "pray to Allah"

Dont know how it might help, but its just a suggestion.
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08-01-2014, 02:36 AM
RE: Is there a polite way of asking a potential roommate
Orr...you ould just ask them if they have any spare healing crystals which you could borrow. You will certainly either get a "Yes, yes I do!" or a "No, am an _______". It may sound silly, but I contend that it would work.

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