Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
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04-03-2011, 02:49 PM
Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
Hi since you all are secularist I take it that you probably would agree with me that there is no such thing as soul mates or true love. People will love eachother yes, but eventually that will die down. Often people that say they are in love fall out of it and move on. Disagree with me? I debate with people on this subject matter often, and they always find a way to bring religion in to it. Is there any real evidence to back true love? I don't think so.
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04-03-2011, 04:22 PM
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
I call my better half my soul mate but it doesn't carry the same weight when you throw religion into the mix. For me she it just means she is absolutely perfect for me. We compliment each other so well. Now do I think that we were somehow meant to be together and would have been unhappy until we had? No, not really. I do feel that there is nobody out there that is as perfect for me as she is.

It could be me feeling that my relationship is different than most but I really do feel that it is. I feel that when you meet that right person (again in a non spiritual sort of way) that compliments yourself as well as me and her do.....its a recipe for a long and happy relationship.

As for evidence its just one of things that you really cannot prove one way or the other outside your personal experiences. If you feel that true love does not exist then for you it does not. For me I feel that it does.
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04-03-2011, 05:57 PM
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
I don't really understand the difference between a deep meaningful love and true love. I also don't understand the difference between someone that you feel a special connection to and a soul mate. I think they are the same thing it is just that some people feel there needs to be more to everything, so they try to add more meaning to in their descriptions. I ask, "what is wrong with reality".

When I find myself in times of trouble, Richard Dawkins comes to me, speaking words of reason, now I see, now I see.
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04-03-2011, 10:57 PM
 
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
'Soul mates' and 'true love' are made up terms. That is not to say that they can't exist however! While there is a large percentage of people that get divorced, or just stay in an "so-so" marriage, there is a faction of people that are legitimately happy, and best friends.

The thing is, love changes over time. It would be highly unusual for people to experience "teenage puppy love" for 50 years (give or take). The thing that keeps people together is deeper then sexual attraction, like how #riseinside was talking about his "better half" (don't know if you guys are married or w/e) I have been with my wife for 10yrs, married for just over 3.5. We met when we were 18, but before that I had a number of girlfriends. I am a quiet person and picky about who I can call a friend (I can't stand alot of people) but somehow my wife and myself are totally compatible in the ways that count. Could there be other 'true loves' or 'soul mates' out there if we had never met? Probably, but I will ignorantly and happily say no. Smile
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04-03-2011, 11:12 PM
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
(04-03-2011 04:22 PM)riseinside Wrote:  I call my better half my soul mate but it doesn't carry the same weight when you throw religion into the mix. For me she it just means she is absolutely perfect for me. We compliment each other so well. Now do I think that we were somehow meant to be together and would have been unhappy until we had? No, not really. I do feel that there is nobody out there that is as perfect for me as she is.

It could be me feeling that my relationship is different than most but I really do feel that it is. I feel that when you meet that right person (again in a non spiritual sort of way) that compliments yourself as well as me and her do.....its a recipe for a long and happy relationship.

This post pretty much sums up how I feel about my relationship with my husband as well. There's more to a good marriage (or partnership, or relationship, or whatever you'd like to call it) than just love.

I had another marriage before this one, and it sucked. I guess I thought I loved him at one point, but really I was just trying to force myself into a place I wasn't meant to be. With my current husband I don't feel that way any more. I can be who I am, and he can be who he is, and we love and support each other for who we are. I truly cannot imagine anyone better suited to me and vice versa. This is the only relationship I've had that I can honestly say I can't imagine my life without him. I'm a pretty independent person and I never thought I could feel that way.

I think that "true love" and "soulmate" are made up fairy tale ideas that you can't really describe using reality. I do think though that it is possible to find that person who you can truly share your life with. Not just live with, marry, have kids with, buy a house with, and blah blah, but truly share life.

My reason for being is to serve as a cat cushion. That is good enough for me. Wink
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04-03-2011, 11:36 PM
 
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
Well this is an interesting topic. I believe in a lot of types of love, I think the love between a parent and a child constitutes as "true love". As far as between two lovers I do think that it exists, I just think it doesn't show itself very often.

Everyone thinks that the person they are with is "the one", but most of the time those thoughts are temporary. Yet in those temporary moments we experience those emotions and those feelings of certainty.

Eh I dunno, I'm really tired so it's hard for me to express what I mean, so I'll be concise and say that yes I do believe in it.
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05-03-2011, 01:52 AM
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
(04-03-2011 11:36 PM)Diclonius Wrote:  Everyone thinks that the person they are with is "the one", but most of the time those thoughts are temporary. Yet in those temporary moments we experience those emotions and those feelings of certainty.

Those feelings of certainty seem to be an evolutionary adaption to keep couple together long enough to raise kids. The wearing off is to give some people a chance to raise another set of kids with another partner. It seems there is a universal human cycle to these emotions. Couples that get along really well replace this fading original love with an enduring love that keeps them happy with each other.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Richard Dawkins comes to me, speaking words of reason, now I see, now I see.
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05-03-2011, 09:58 AM
 
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
Good post No J. I am enjoying the fact that my wife and I are in our late 20s now, while we are still very much in love it is different than when we were 18. We don't have kids yet, for reasons including our jobs/careers, financial (we finally got a house late last year) and the fact that neither of us has any experience with children. We will have to assess having children soon though, because she doesn't want to start later then 30 for some reason. If we can't have kids for some reason, we'd be happy being crazy cat people. Smile
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05-03-2011, 02:55 PM
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
Love is one of those things that we will never agree on. Each and every person has a different definition of what love really is. To each his own really sums up the argument for me.
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06-03-2011, 06:20 PM
RE: Is true love real or is it just simply sentimental
Looks like I am a minority on this subject. Don't know what to really say besides maybe my opionion on this will change when I finally get a relationship. Looks like just about everyone on these threads has someone but me.
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