Isn't the bible poorly written?
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12-08-2015, 08:52 AM (This post was last modified: 12-08-2015 09:03 AM by Grasshopper.)
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
I will be a contrarian here. As Banjo and Bucky Ball have pointed out, the Bible is not "a book" in the normal sense of the word. It is an anthology of many books, of many different types, and even some of the individual books of the Bible are cut and pasted together from multiple sources.That's why there are two creation stories in Genesis, and why the "Noah's Ark" story (also in Genesis) keeps repeating itself with contradictory details. Given that, you can't expect the same kind of unity and continuity of plot as in a modern novel.

Despite that, there are some great stories in the Bible (many of them in Genesis). The story of Joseph and his brothers is interesting enough that Thomas Mann (a Nobel prize winning novelist) turned it into a novel. And some whole books (notably Job and Ecclesiastes) are among the greatest literature of the ancient world. Also, the King James translation has been an enormous and inescapable influence on English literature ever since it was published.

If you try to sit down and read "the Bible" straight through, yes, it's a mish-mash, and much of it is pretty dull. But there is some great stuff in there.

As for cooking with shit, that's not just some wacky invention of Ezekiel. It was a common practice in the ancient world, and even in some parts of today's world:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_animal_dung_fuel
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12-08-2015, 08:52 AM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
I'd rather reread Twilight than the Bible. At least the first page of Twilight didn't go like this;

"Bella's flight arrived in Forks.

And Bella got off of the flight.

And Bella saw her father's car.

And Bella got into the car.

And Charlie turned to Bella,

And asked 'How was your flight?'.

And Bella said 'It was okay'."

I know it's only the first couple pages or so, but dammit, "Don't start every sentence with 'And'" is something I learned in third grade.


(12-08-2015 08:01 AM)true scotsman Wrote:  I don't know. I tried to read it cover to cover but found it so excruciatingly boring I couldn't even get through the first chapter.

Ditto.

I finally realized why so few theists read the damned thing. Undecided

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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12-08-2015, 10:11 AM
Isn't the bible poorly written?
I know, can't someone write it in today's English. I don't understand most of it.
No wonder there are so many different interpretations
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12-08-2015, 10:45 AM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
(12-08-2015 10:11 AM)MrShangles Wrote:  I know, can't someone write it in today's English. I don't understand most of it.
No wonder there are so many different interpretations

Been done:

https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Go...GNT-Bible/

But the KJV is so much better...
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12-08-2015, 10:46 AM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
It's mostly really shit and badly written.

Some good bits that can stand up as isolated poetry (at least in King James. Modern English translations ruin the few poetic parts), but for the most part it's droning, repetitive nonsense with absolutely nothing to hook you into the story.

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12-08-2015, 11:41 AM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
(12-08-2015 08:15 AM)Eva Wrote:  
(12-08-2015 08:08 AM)Worom Wrote:  If you think lying in shit for 40 days was comedy gold you should read the part about where a guy is commanded by God to bake all his food using human shit for the fire for over a year its in Ezekiel chapter 4 verses 9-12

That must have been a part I skipped. What's the deal with Yaweh and shit? He is one weird, sick SoB.

[Image: Ezikielbread.jpg]

He's omnicoprophiliac. Rolleyes

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12-08-2015, 01:09 PM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
(12-08-2015 06:23 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  How can someone who studies it for years and gets a phd in this and claim to understand more of the bible than a normal guy who just read it once when it's impossible to comprehend it.
They can't claim this. You don't need phd to understand the Bible.
Bible has errors and contradictions.
It is possible to comprehend the Bible if you have Prophets who have authority from God to explain errors and who have gift of interpretation.
It is possible to comprehend the Bible when the Holy Ghost teaches you/gives you an understanding.

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12-08-2015, 02:02 PM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
(12-08-2015 01:09 PM)Alla Wrote:  ... It is possible to comprehend the Bible if you have Prophets who have authority from God to explain errors and who have gift of interpretation ...

Leaving alone the imbecility, to say nothing of the sheer discourtesy, if you're a god, of writing something that can't be comprehended without outside assistance, how does one identify the prophets "who have authority from god" from the ones who don't? You can't use the bible to make the distinction because the bible is opaque without already having made the distinction and gotten the right kind of help. The world is awash in prophets; their cacophony is shrill, insistent and as opaque as a bible: does one need the help of someone "with authority from god" to identify who really does possess "authority from god"? Looks to me like a problem of infinite regress.

If you're able to produce a list for us of things that distinguish authentic authority from god from pretend authority from god, I'm sure we're all ears. It will certainly be a first if you do manage it. Nobel prize calibre if you're successful - but don't let the high bar dissuade you from making the attempt. You have much to gain and nothing to lose by trying. If you aren't pretending.
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12-08-2015, 02:19 PM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
(12-08-2015 08:52 AM)Grasshopper Wrote:  Despite that, there are some great stories in the Bible (many of them in Genesis).
Really?

I found Genesis to be incredibly childish, boorish, repetitive, misogynistic and sadistic?

You'd think, being sadistic it would be somewhat interesting, but they really managed to make it boring.
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12-08-2015, 02:30 PM
RE: Isn't the bible poorly written?
Take any great bit of literature (or any piece of crap for that matter) - and translate it from one language to another - a couple of times, add in a thousand years or so - and each translator's agenda --- and you're likely to end up with a piece of shit. Especially so when you have to start tweaking it to keep up with scientific discovery, and changing societal pressures.

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