It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
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07-08-2017, 01:17 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
If you are posting here, what do you want from us? Just telling us you want to kill yourself and refusing all help seems kind of a dick move. There must be something you are trying to get from us that you think we can give you?

Truly, I think you will most benefit from professional help. Your family may be able to help you find it. If you know that you have some mental health problems that's a good first step. A lot of people don't even get that far. Once you know that there is a problem you can find treatment.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-08-2017, 01:26 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Please see a therapist/psychologist/counselor. Last year I suffered from constant panic attacks, and I KNEW that no one could help me or even understand the terror I lived with every waking moment.

Then I met my therapist, and at first I knew it was useless. I knew there was no point in talking about potential triggers and stressors. But as time went on, I DID start feeling better.

Therapists are trained to search for the underlying problem and how to tackle it. Please see someone! It really does help!

And have you considered volunteering at a dog rescue? Animals can be magical for depression and anxiety.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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07-08-2017, 01:42 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 01:12 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I'm also very stupid. I failed college twice, and my entire history in school was an utter failure. I have trouble retaining information, and my head always seems to be up my ass. I never make smart decisions, and I seem to forget everything. My brain is faulty and does not work very well.

I doubt that. Your writing skills contradict it. Are you writing a lot?

Life is not about chasing what you think you want, it's about using what you have. Once you manage to do that, other things fall into place.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-08-2017, 02:05 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
I've given things their chance. Life just isn't for me me. I wish I could put people in my mind so they could understand what I understand, but it's impossible. There's no hope for me. No doctor's certificate will qualify someone to understand me or help me.
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07-08-2017, 02:11 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 02:05 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I've given things their chance. Life just isn't for me me. I wish I could put people in my mind so they could understand what I understand, but it's impossible. There's no hope for me. No doctor's certificate will qualify someone to understand me or help me.

Well I'm certainly not getting it, whatever it is. Seriously. This is not the right place to find the help you need. You clearly have some agency since you are capable of typing. Ask a family member to urgently get hold of a psychologist for you. That's your sole course of action that actually stands a chance of helping you.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-08-2017, 02:14 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
I know it's not the right place. I'm sorry. I just can't cope with my emotions.
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07-08-2017, 02:19 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 02:05 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I've given things their chance. Life just isn't for me me. I wish I could put people in my mind so they could understand what I understand, but it's impossible. There's no hope for me. No doctor's certificate will qualify someone to understand me or help me.

I have been suicidal for decades. Suicide is my friend, always ready to help out if it gets too bad.

Knowing that has made life for me easier and more fun. I have taken bigger risks in life than I would otherwise. Some of these have paid off, others not. But it was interesting and often fun to do.

It has also made it a lot easier to deal with childhood abuse I experienced.

Thoughts of suicide don't control you, you control them.

You have already decided that no one understands you. With all the millions of people out there, chances that you are correct are slim. What percentage of those millions have you opened up to? How many of those were trained to understand?

You really should go to a therapist if you feel no one can understand. What is there to lose? Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Those are good odds.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-08-2017, 02:21 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 02:14 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I know it's not the right place. I'm sorry. I just can't cope with my emotions.

I'm sorry, I was harsh. Do vent here - that's specifically what this place is for. But please also take action to help yourself. I have no desire to see you post about killing yourself and then later do so. All that that will achieve is to make me (and whoever else is also reading this thread) feel shit for a while. It will be a death without meaning. Make your life mean something. Get the help that you need. You are at rock bottom now so your really do have nothing to lose. You might as well do one or two crazy things just for the hell of it, even if it seems pointless, right?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-08-2017, 02:25 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Please consider reaching out to a support group in your area. Feeling uniquely flawed is not good, especially when it is not true. If your problems feel relational, or you feel isolated, a support group could be very helpful. Everyone has their flaws and problems. Reaching out to people going through the same things gives us strength, and in your case, perhaps some much needed social interaction.

But as long as you think your symptoms are unique (I guarantee you they're not) your tendency to isolate yourself will remain. That one, I know from personal experience.

Also, you could start new socially by getting involved in conversations around here maybe. Just a thought. Before any of that though please call a hotline that can put you in touch with the help and support you need.

I'm not sure what else to say.

Best of luck.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
-Neil Degrasse Tyson
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07-08-2017, 02:31 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 01:12 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I'm also very stupid. I failed college twice, and my entire history in school was an utter failure. I have trouble retaining information, and my head always seems to be up my ass. I never make smart decisions, and I seem to forget everything. My brain is faulty and does not work very well.


Lackluster, one thing I can say from the other side of this computer screen is that you are far from stupid. You are articulate, intelligent and yes, unique. Everyone is unique. If we were all alike, what a boring world it would be. Having been to college later in life, I can tell you I've heard stuff SO similar to this from the 20-something year old female perspective. That leaves me with the belief that there IS someone out there for you. Be patient with yourself. Things seem bleak right now, but please seek out some help wherever you are. You have family that loves you. Please remember that suicide doesn't end pain, it just shifts it to the people who love you, where it multiplies many times over.

And honestly, there have been times in my life that the only thing that kept me alive was the thought that my dog would grieve, blame himself, and never be able to understand why I never came home. Then by chance/accident I got medical help for what turned out to be a thyroid disease that had my hormones so far out of whack that people who only knew me in those years when it was slammed, don't even know who I am now.

Please get help. Real help. Let your family get you help. And when you do, ask them to help you find out why not retaining info is on the table too. There is help out there. Please look for some where you can be face to face or at least voice to voice.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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