It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
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07-08-2017, 04:24 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 04:14 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  Women are hypocrites. They spout all this goddamn bullshit about how "looks don't matter. Blah blah blah..." But you always go for the taller, better looking guys, and you fucking know it. So goddamn fucking spare me your bullshit.

And things like this have no bearing whatsoever on how "women" see you. Absolutely.

Don't worry, mods, I'll stop here, out of respect for the section.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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07-08-2017, 06:16 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
I'm going to go with the assumption for the moment that nothing you've said about the undesirability of your body is exaggerated. And remind you that even blind women seek love.

And since you asked where you could meet women who would accept you as you are, here you go. And it took me less than 30 seconds to find it online.

http://www.uglyschmucks.com/

What have you got to lose?

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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07-08-2017, 08:02 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
The nice thing about the internet is that you can relate to others without being judged by appearances. So if you want to make friends, you can do it here.

However, you do have to be interested in other people.

Thumbsup
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08-08-2017, 12:47 AM (This post was last modified: 08-08-2017 01:16 AM by Lackluster.)
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 06:16 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  I'm going to go with the assumption for the moment that nothing you've said about the undesirability of your body is exaggerated. And remind you that even blind women seek love.

And since you asked where you could meet women who would accept you as you are, here you go. And it took me less than 30 seconds to find it online.

http://www.uglyschmucks.com/

What have you got to lose?
I'm not trying to be a hateful brat, but this kind of advice just amuses me. Why would you think this would make me feel better? The idea that I'm so ugly and loserish that I had to resort to a website for blind women just to get my first date? That is the precise opposite of what would or should make someone feel better.

I want to meet someone the RIGHT way. I want to actually attract a woman. I want to know I'm good enough. Of course, I know this won't happen.
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08-08-2017, 01:06 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
I'm sorry I bothered you guys. I can't convey my thoughts well, and I find my problems to be too complex to articulate. I know it's none of y'all's problems, and you all are not my shrink. I think this is why I have such a hard time getting help or making progress. It's just too difficult to get people to really understand my situation or my problems.

It's like the perfect storm of complicated problems. I don't know which is more important to highlight. Plus, everyone seems to ask me why I think the things I do about myself. That's very hard to explain too because I have a lifetime of experiences and anecdotes I could invoke to show why I think that. I live my life every day, and I see how people behave around me, I see how women act around me, I see how they all treat me differently.

I've had women make fun of me in public for my looks on mutliple independent occasions. People I meet always assume I'm single because there's no way they would look at me and ascribe any other status to me than "ugly, hopeless, loser". In my dreams I'm this attractive, wonderful guy who can bring joy and pleasure to a woman's life, but in real life I'm a pathetic shit whom no woman would even spit on.

I'm deficient in the personality department as well as you all can probably tell by now. I have nothing to offer. There is no good aspect of me, no redeeming qualities, and nothing of value. I'm only a person by definition, but I'm not a real person. And I'm not worthy of anyone's time.
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08-08-2017, 01:19 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(08-08-2017 01:06 AM)Lackluster Wrote:  ...
In my dreams I'm this attractive, wonderful guy who can bring joy and pleasure to a woman's life, but in real life I'm a pathetic shit whom no woman would even spit on.
...

That's not you. That's Donald Trump.

(08-08-2017 01:06 AM)Lackluster Wrote:  ...
I have nothing to offer. There is no good aspect of me, no redeeming qualities, and nothing of value. I'm only a person by definition, but I'm not a real person. And I'm not worthy of anyone's time.

Considering the number of people I've 'met' on TTA who have experienced similar (but different) downward spirals and considering your ability to write far more eloquently and coherently than the vast majority of netizens, I'd say knuckling down to writing a book about your experiences would be more than personal therapy ... it would be your duty to humanity.

Wink

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08-08-2017, 08:43 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
You described yourself as ugly. A Pathetic shit, etc. You asked (I'm paraphrasing) how to meet a woman who would see you inside instead of just looking away from the outer shell or insulting your physical appearance. I offered you a place where everyone there would describe themselves much the same as you have. *Kindred Spirits* so to speak.

It was in no way meant to say that I believe you are ugly, YOU said that. I haven't seen you. Like others here, I am merely trying to help. Are you saying that you wouldn't consider being with someone who society looks at the way you say society looks at you? How sad, since that means you would be viewing (as in, repulsed by) them the same way you say people view you.

You asked who would judge you for your inside without being instantly repelled by your outside. I answered that blind women would fall in that category.

Wasn't meant to be amusing or insulting. Seemed like reasonable honest answers to your dilemma on relationships.

You said in your dreams you can bring pleasure to a woman's life. I believe you can do that in your waking life. You asked questions of "how" for which I offered potential solutions. There are plenty of other dating websites out there as well.

So first I will offer you an apology for having apparently hurt your feelings by suggesting potential solutions. Then I will point out, as others have, that you really don't seem to want suggestions or solutions, just a place to rant and ask questions that you don't want answered.

If it helps you to do so, please feel free to rant on. I hope you will continue to vent here for as long as you need to, if it helps.

We will continue to listen and to hope that you find the face to face professional help that you need, that will help you to feel better about yourself and your life.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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08-08-2017, 08:49 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(08-08-2017 01:06 AM)Lackluster Wrote:  I'm sorry I bothered you guys. I can't convey my thoughts well, and I find my problems to be too complex to articulate. I know it's none of y'all's problems, and you all are not my shrink. I think this is why I have such a hard time getting help or making progress. It's just too difficult to get people to really understand my situation or my problems.

It's like the perfect storm of complicated problems. I don't know which is more important to highlight. Plus, everyone seems to ask me why I think the things I do about myself. That's very hard to explain too because I have a lifetime of experiences and anecdotes I could invoke to show why I think that. I live my life every day, and I see how people behave around me, I see how women act around me, I see how they all treat me differently.

I've had women make fun of me in public for my looks on mutliple independent occasions. People I meet always assume I'm single because there's no way they would look at me and ascribe any other status to me than "ugly, hopeless, loser". In my dreams I'm this attractive, wonderful guy who can bring joy and pleasure to a woman's life, but in real life I'm a pathetic shit whom no woman would even spit on.

I'm deficient in the personality department as well as you all can probably tell by now. I have nothing to offer. There is no good aspect of me, no redeeming qualities, and nothing of value. I'm only a person by definition, but I'm not a real person. And I'm not worthy of anyone's time.

FWIW (which I know is not much, or nothing), I've been mocked many times for my appearance in public, in school, etc. over the years.

Also- there's no RIGHT way to meet someone. Those are restrictions that you put upon yourself. And you purposefully limit yourself from meeting someone who might potentially love you for you, and choosing some ideal because that seems "normal" to you. But, guess what- there's 7 billion people on this planet. There's no real "normal". Normal is a mirage- and it disappears for every individual as they pursue it. Every person finds themselves absent of what the standard is for "normal" in some way. Yes, some more than others, but even so. Normal is a lie, and it is an insipid one.

Anyway- I know none of us can talk you out of your experiences. Nor should we be able to. But like DLJ said, writing about your life could be useful to us all. Telling your stories, your experiences, your thoughts, writing about world is the only way to show people what you mean. And you CAN write. You are articulate. You are smart enough to do that. Just do it slowly, and don't force yourself to meet some impossible standard of diction or grammar or flowery language.
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08-08-2017, 10:43 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Yes, you are unique, but we all are. Many of us in here have battled with depression. It doesn't mean we can perfectly understand each other's situations or life experiences or whatever goes on on the other person's head. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't even attempt to help each other.

That said, I perfectly understand why anything we say sounds like a platitude to you and why it's hard for you to get help. And it probably has to do with the fact that I've dealt with depression too. We may be unique as humans, but depression doesn't discriminate.

So, I won't offer any platitudes but I will say this; one of my ex boyfriends was a very shy, awkward young man who couldn't even go 2 seconds without saying something stupid when speaking to a girl. He had a deformity himself and he always said he never thought I could be attracted to him because he was a "freak". He didn't like anything about himself, he was battling with depression and had suicidal tendencies. He was a virgin when I met him and had never even touched a girl (he was 20 then) and he was so awkward and shy that his hands were shaking when he first talked to me. He kept saying stupid things.
But you know what? I thought he was cute. He wasn't fit at all, dozens of girls before me found him unattractive, yet I thought he was cute. Breaking up with him had nothing to do with all this, if you're wondering. Needless to say, after we broke up his confidence went out the roof and he met a lot of other girls.

I don't really know why I said all that but I hope it helps.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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08-08-2017, 12:29 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 04:14 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  Women are hypocrites. They spout all this goddamn bullshit about how "looks don't matter. Blah blah blah..." But you always go for the taller, better looking guys, and you fucking know it. So goddamn fucking spare me your bullshit.

Not agreeing with this completely and not with the way it's being expressed...but I gotta confess to feeling some of Lackluster's pain here! Back in my single days, skinny goofy shy guy...ladies, let a fella down easy, huh? Any of the rest of you guys have friends that could just smile and the women in the room just drool at? I'm innocently trying to flirt or get a girl's attention and it's quick, dial 911 on the creep. I'm sure I was doing it wrong but ladies allow a little room for error.

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