It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
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08-08-2017, 01:15 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Funniest thing, though, men whining about women being hypocrites and only going for the big strong tall guys... while they would totally drool over the plain-looking, overweight girl, yes sirree, and would choose her (and be happy to be chosen by her) Drinking Beverage

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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08-08-2017, 01:40 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(08-08-2017 01:15 PM)Vera Wrote:  Funniest thing, though, men whining about women being hypocrites and only going for the big strong tall guys... while they would totally drool over the plain-looking, overweight girl, yes sirree, and would choose her (and be happy to be chosen by her) Drinking Beverage

True.
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08-08-2017, 04:11 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(08-08-2017 01:06 AM)Lackluster Wrote:  I'm sorry I bothered you guys. I can't convey my thoughts well, and I find my problems to be too complex to articulate. I know it's none of y'all's problems, and you all are not my shrink. I think this is why I have such a hard time getting help or making progress. It's just too difficult to get people to really understand my situation or my problems.
You seem to be an articulate enough writer.
How about just trying to write out a description of your situation, just to help YOU make sense of it, and not worry about our ability to understand it?

<shrug>It's something to do, y'know?

Quote:It's like the perfect storm of complicated problems. I don't know which is more important to highlight.
Maybe pick one at random, and run with it?

Quote:And I'm not worthy of anyone's time.
We can see that assessment's not true: looks to me like many people here have already freely given you their time.
We clearly think you are worthy of some of our time.

If I may ask, where are you?
No need to be too specific: Country? Urban or rural? Region?

--
Dr H

"So, I became an anarchist, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
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09-08-2017, 06:55 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Lackluster, you feeling any better?

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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09-08-2017, 06:59 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 06:55 AM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Lackluster, you feeling any better?

I also woke up this morning thinking of checking in with LL.
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09-08-2017, 08:00 AM (This post was last modified: 09-08-2017 09:17 AM by adey67.)
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 12:30 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  There's no real point in talking about it. I can't convey my problems or thoughts where they would be understandable. No one here could have the opportunity to truly grasp the uniqueness of my situation, and the best they could offer in return are empty, meaning-free platitudes. I don't even know where to start in describing my life and my problems. It's all very complicated and complex. The only thing I can say is that there's no one else like me in the world.

I'm so sorry for your problems but I have to be honest and say that while you are indeed a unique person, (everyone is, even so called identical twins have individual fingerprints etc) I would be willing to bet that the problems you are experiencing are not as unique as you might imagine, some of the more personal attributes of your problems will of course be unique to yourself but the problems themselves not so much.

I have suicidal thoughts every day crippling anxiety and feelings of total worthlessness too, I'm socially isolated I cannot find work and when my 80 year old mother dies there is an incredibly strong possibility I will end up homeless, I have problems and circumstances which are very unusual and individual but even I cannot say they are unique. Please get some professional help, you are quite right when you say all we can offer are platitudes and its pretty obvious you need way more than a bunch of random dudes and dudettes on a forum. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think it would benefit you and be less isolating if you try and look for commonalities with other people, I guarantee you will find them. Good luck for the future and I hope you will start to feel better sooner rather than later.
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09-08-2017, 09:13 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
If you really don't think professional help can help you, please consider volunteering at an animal shelter. Maybe even foster a dog/cat if you can. They will give you a pair of ears that are always there to listen to your problems and hugs and snuggles at the ready. I'm not sure why but it helps to have someone listen to you even if they can't talk back. It'll give you a sense of responsibility, a purpose. If anything else, something to live for.

If it weren't for my dogs, especially our rescue Rosy, I'd most likely still be battling my anxiety every day. Heck years ago when I also struggled with being suicidal and worthless, my only comfort, someone who didn't care for all my faults, my dog Juneau--she made life worth living, if only for warm fuzzy hugs.

It's been proven that animals can provide comfort and relief for anxiety and depression. Please consider it. We do care...

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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09-08-2017, 09:20 AM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 09:13 AM)Loom Wrote:  If you really don't think professional help can help you, please consider volunteering at an animal shelter. Maybe even foster a dog/cat if you can. They will give you a pair of ears that are always there to listen to your problems and hugs and snuggles at the ready. I'm not sure why but it helps to have someone listen to you even if they can't talk back. It'll give you a sense of responsibility, a purpose. If anything else, something to live for.

If it weren't for my dogs, especially our rescue Rosy, I'd most likely still be battling my anxiety every day. Heck years ago when I also struggled with being suicidal and worthless, my only comfort, someone who didn't care for all my faults, my dog Juneau--she made life worth living, if only for warm fuzzy hugs.

It's been proven that animals can provide comfort and relief for anxiety and depression. Please consider it. We do care...

Agree 110%, without my gorgeous dog I would be dead or in a mental hospital that's for sure.
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09-08-2017, 01:08 PM (This post was last modified: 09-08-2017 01:14 PM by Lackluster.)
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
I tried to write a good post detailing my life and experiences, and I wrote several paragraphs and deleted it. I actually did this several times, but I just couldn't convey it well. The only thing I can say is that all my life I've been ostracized and unvalued. People never want to be around me, and this is true even when I try to put my best foot forward. The amount of times I've had people blatantly say hurtful things to my face are countless. However, the truly hurtful thing is when people unknowingly say things that are hurtful when they're talking to you, or talking to someone else around you, and they're not trying to be mean. I pick up on those little things. It seems to be standard that people see me as an ugly, deformed, freak and a loser. They also find me to be someone they don't want hanging around them, cramping their style so-to-speak.

When I try to talk to people and make friends, I get talked over, ignored, and rejected. People give me weird looks (like "I wish he would just go away"). The idea of meeting women is a rough frontier that is galaxies away from me. Women literally don't even view me as a human being. I'm on the level of a dog to them. Except most of them love dogs. Maybe saying I'm on the level of a cow or chicken would be a better descriptor.

I'm sorry this is vague. All I can even partly convey is how I feel. I'm not the best at describing incidents or experiences I've had. But rest assured, I've had countless experiences that have made it crystal clear to me that I have no chance at anything. I don't want help because I know for a fact it won't work. Plus, at this point I think my status as an undesirable is cemented. I don't think I deserve the help or the things I desire. That's for worthy people.
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09-08-2017, 01:19 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 01:08 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I tried to write a good post detailing my life and experiences, and I wrote several paragraphs and deleted it. I actually did this several times, but I just couldn't convey it well. The only thing I can say is that all my life I've been ostracized and unvalued. People never want to be around me, and this is true even when I try to put my best foot forward. The amount of times I've had people blatantly say hurtful things to my face are countless. However, the truly hurtful thing is when people unknowingly say things that are hurtful when they're talking to you, or talking to someone else around you, and they're not trying to be mean. I pick up on those little things. It seems to be standard that people see my as an ugly, deformed, freak and a loser. They also find me to be someone they don't want hanging around them, cramping their style so-to-speak.

When I try to talk to people and make friends, I get talked over, ignored, and rejected. People give me weird looks (like "I wish he would just go away"). The idea of meeting women is a rough frontier that is galaxies away from me. Women literally don't even view me as a human being. I'm on the level of a dog to them. Except most of them love dogs. Maybe saying I'm on the level of a cow or chicken would be a better descriptor.

I'm sorry this is vague. All I can even partly convey is how I feel. I'm not the best at describing incidents or experiences I've had. But rest assured, I've had countless experiences that have made it crystal clear to me that I have no chance at anything. I don't want help because I know for a fact it won't work. Plus, at this point I think my status as an undesirable is cemented. I don't think I deserve the help or the things I desire. That's for worthy people.

Hey man, glad you're still posting. I'm glad that you tried to post about your experiences. Even if you deleted it. The writing is more for you than for us anyway. Keep writing. You don't have to post it here. Just write about your life. Talk about your memories of what happened. Pick a date, something specific that you remember and write about that. It doesn't matter if you don't think anyone will understand. Describe something that happened. Talk about the environment it was in- maybe you have a memory of something that happened in public- where were you? In a cafe or store or something? Describe the surrounding. Describe how you were feeling before the event occurred. Describe the small events leading up to it- what you were doing, what you were thinking, etc.

It doesn't matter if it's poetic, or informative, or anything else. Just describe it, and save it somewhere on your computer. Then maybe tomorrow you do the same thing for another event.

Maybe it'll help. If not, then at least you have some documentation of things that happened in your life.
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