It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
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09-08-2017, 02:21 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Who made you feel like you don't deserve help and are unworthy of help? Lemme at 'em. I could probably take 'em. I'm old but I got some Carolina Redneck in me...

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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09-08-2017, 02:29 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 02:21 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Who made you feel like you don't deserve help and are unworthy of help? Lemme at 'em. I could probably take 'em. I'm old but I got some Carolina Redneck in me...

This is something counter-intuitive I've observed about depression and related stuff. It seems to me that those who suffer with this frequently feel that they deserve to be treated like shit, that this is all their fault etc. They put massive pressure on themselves. It's not clear to me why... But I don't think these are rational thoughts...

Make no mistake OP, depression is not something to be ashamed of. It would be like being ashamed of catching flu or smallpox. It's not something you control, so don't blame yourself for it. That said, you *can* get treatment, which is under your control, so as much as everyone's been commenting and getting you to open up, don't forget that talking to a professional will ultimately probably help you much more effectively than anything we can offer you here.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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09-08-2017, 02:48 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
I totally agree, MD.

When you're in a depressive spiral, your brain is intent on looking for any and all evidence to reinforce the feelings of worthlessness. You stop even seeing anything that suggests the opposite is true- that you do have worth, that people do care, that you're not just a burden, that the world or your family wouldn't just be better off without you, etc. etc... It's like a positive feedback loop of confirmation bias in your brain that only accepts information that tells you that you are worthless.

You have to interrupt that feedback loop. It's a death spiral. But again, when in that loop, you're often unable to even recognize that you deserve to break out of it.
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09-08-2017, 02:55 PM (This post was last modified: 09-08-2017 02:58 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 02:29 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(09-08-2017 02:21 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Who made you feel like you don't deserve help and are unworthy of help? Lemme at 'em. I could probably take 'em. I'm old but I got some Carolina Redneck in me...

This is something counter-intuitive I've observed about depression and related stuff. It seems to me that those who suffer with this frequently feel that they deserve to be treated like shit, that this is all their fault etc. They put massive pressure on themselves. It's not clear to me why... But I don't think these are rational thoughts...

Make no mistake OP, depression is not something to be ashamed of. It would be like being ashamed of catching flu or smallpox. It's not something you control, so don't blame yourself for it. That said, you *can* get treatment, which is under your control, so as much as everyone's been commenting and getting you to open up, don't forget that talking to a professional will ultimately probably help you much more effectively than anything we can offer you here.

Yes, but they actually must take the steps. We can explain this until we're exhausted. The OP needs to take the step.

What also makes this discussion particularly difficult is that we know next to nothing about them. They only recently made the account and this is really the only thread they've participated in. All we know is what they're written in their intro thread (2 posts) and in this thread.

Depression is serious business, but aside from meager advice and resources we have offered already, there isn't much else we can do for this person aside from continuing to offer encouragement.

It becomes a repetitive thing all too quickly.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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09-08-2017, 03:04 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 02:55 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Depression is serious business, but aside from meager advice and resources we have offered already, there isn't much else we can do for this person aside from continuing to offer encouragement.

It becomes a repetitive thing all too quickly.

Another thing about depressed people is that... they kinda need a *lot* of encouragement. It becomes very difficult for them to do even seemingly basic things, like just getting outta bed. And they do become quite repetitive themselves - it's a bit like OCD I think. Their brains get stuck in "depressed mode" almost like a scratched record - it plays for a bit then skips back again.

I saw this a lot with ma soeur, when she was going through shit, before she got good meds which helped her out. Had to read a bit about it too.

Basically, it's gonna take a lot for OP to actually get around to taking the step of either asking a family member for help to get in contact with a professional, or for them to get in contact with a professional themselves.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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09-08-2017, 03:30 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
@Momsurroundedbyboys, you seem kind of drab and rigid. You've accused me of being a troll, which is an easy, go-to accusation people seem to spout all too freely these days. Well, I'm not a troll. And if you can't think of a valid point to make, then don't send me another PM. I'm not trying to sound rude, but you're kind of being rude. I asked you what's the problem with me posting in my own thread as a means of catharsis as long as I'm keeping it within the community rules, and you're entire reply was "You're behaving like a troll." Well, as I said earlier, either make a good point, or leave me alone.
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09-08-2017, 03:36 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(07-08-2017 01:12 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  I'm also very stupid. I failed college twice, and my entire history in school was an utter failure. I have trouble retaining information, and my head always seems to be up my ass. I never make smart decisions, and I seem to forget everything. My brain is faulty and does not work very well.

Holy crap, you sound exactly like me. Well, at least the me before I managed to find a girlfriend (now wife). I had been only looking at women that were supermodel like in appearance. I changed my standards after I realized that the best looking were usually monsters on the inside. My wife was very heavy when we met, but has lost some of the weight. Change what you are looking for in a woman and you will have better luck. As far as the idea of existence feeling bland, I also understand that. It almost seems like life is fake, or like I have been here and done this too many times to count, without actually knowing what is going to happen if that makes any sense. Feels like emotions others experience are not real for me. I am sure you and I are more similar than different. Day after day, pretending to be normal and trying to exhibit the standard emotions, yet they are somehow fake.
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09-08-2017, 03:37 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 03:30 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  @Momsurroundedbyboys, you seem kind of drab and rigid. You've accused me of being a troll, which is an easy, go-to accusation people seem to spout all too freely these days. Well, I'm not a troll. And if you can't think of a valid point to make, then don't send me another PM. I'm not trying to sound rude, but you're kind of being rude. I asked you what's the problem with me posting in my own thread as a means of catharsis as long as I'm keeping it within the community rules, and you're entire reply was "You're behaving like a troll." Well, as I said earlier, either make a good point, or leave me alone.

Hold off brother. Mom's job is a tough one, and lots of trolls do play silly buggers, especially in the support section, which makes it hard for people legitimately seeking help. If you try to start some kind of witch-hunt against Moms, you can look forward to us cheerfully telling you to get fucked. You being depressed is one thing. Thinking you can slap people around without consequence is another.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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09-08-2017, 03:56 PM
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
Hugs to you LL Hug I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I agree with everyone who said seek out a professional to help you deal with all of this. It sounds really overwhelming with all that you are dealing with and you shouldn't have to try and deal with all this by yourself. There are people out there who are experts in their fields. They can help give you the tools you need to feel better.

I'm sorry others have made you feel less than in life, but try and remember that's on them and not on you. Kick those people to the curb (as they are so not worth it) and get yourself the help you deserve.
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09-08-2017, 03:58 PM (This post was last modified: 09-08-2017 04:22 PM by unsapien.)
RE: It's hard not to want to commit suicide.
(09-08-2017 03:30 PM)Lackluster Wrote:  @Momsurroundedbyboys, you seem kind of drab and rigid. You've accused me of being a troll, which is an easy, go-to accusation people seem to spout all too freely these days. Well, I'm not a troll. And if you can't think of a valid point to make, then don't send me another PM. I'm not trying to sound rude, but you're kind of being rude. I asked you what's the problem with me posting in my own thread as a means of catharsis as long as I'm keeping it within the community rules, and you're entire reply was "You're behaving like a troll." Well, as I said earlier, either make a good point, or leave me alone.

(My bold)

Progress. Defending yourself...

BTW making public things that are said to you in private is a bit of a no no... without getting the permission of the sender first.

So you are looking for help, you do think there are reasons to live. Good.

Also maybe peruse the forum rules... Green means something...

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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