It's time
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13-05-2014, 08:25 AM
It's time
It's common knowledge that nothing lasts forever. As social creatures, we forge strong bonds and connections throughout the course of our lives. Hence, we also suffer from the common cause of sorrow for social animals: loss. Our greatest source of comfort is also our greatest source of grief.

Now, at twenty years of age, one would assume I would already have been confronted loss. It is a tragic reality that sometimes people die far younger than they should. It's not uncommon for somebody that is a close to friend to die by this time. Such is not the case for me. Sure, I've known some of my peers whom have since passed on, but nobody that I was particularly close to. A close friend of mine has yet to kick the bucket.

Usually, our first confrontations with loss are either our grandparents or our childhood pets. Once again, this has not been something I have had to come to terms with yet. All 4 of my grandparents are still alive, a rather impressive feat considering they are all in their 80s now. Also, all three of my cats have managed to make it up to this point, another remarkable situation since I've had them all since I was 5. Sure, we had to put the dog down last summer, but we gave him away years ago to our former housekeeper, so I had emotionally detached from him by that point.

So here I am at twenty years of age, with no proper introduction into the common affliction we all suffer from called loss.

Except now it's time.

The cat currently resting by my feet is being put down tomorrow. It pains me knowing this is Misty's last full day of life. She's almost 17 now. She's the first cat we we got, back when she was just a year old, and I was only 4 1/2. The other cats are only around a year and a half younger than her, but are in much better health. She's slowed down the most in these final years, and there wasn't much doubt that she was going to be the first to go. She had to have a skin tumor removed last fall. She's been having trouble eating for months and vomits up most of what little she can chew. Her fur is thinning and her hearing is fading. She usually can't make it up the stairs anymore to get to the litterbox.

She's old and sick, and it's her time to go. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I feel like most people with a childhood pet have already lost one by now, but all of my pets have managed to reach old age without much of a hitch (even the dog was pretty old by the time he died). This is going to be the first real blow to me in terms of loss.

The worst part is, I can't decide whether I'm going to be able to accompany her in her final moments. I want to be there for her when she goes, to comfort her, but I'm tearing up just fucking thinking about it. This cat has been a piece of my life since I was 4, how am I going to handle it when I feel her stop breathing? Know that all I have left of her are memories? That I'll never hear her meow again or pet her fur? That in that room, where she will peacefully fall into an eternal slumber, that's my last chance to be with her?

I'm crying right now just typing about it. I don't want to leave her to her end without me, but if its this hard just accepting it, how much worse is it going to be when I'm there in the room while the needle goes in? This isn't even my favorite cat and I know I'm going to be bawling my eyes out.

What should I do?

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13-05-2014, 08:34 AM
RE: It's time
Hug

Cry. Cry your eyes out until you can't cry any more and think of all the happy memories you have of her. (I'm tearing up just writing this) Mourning is a necessary process and shouldn't be suppressed.

I would go with her and be by her side until the end. It will be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but facing it head on will bring you out the other side stronger. I had to put down my childhood dog a few years back and I didn't think I would get through it. I did, and I'm glad I went. He was a loyal companion for 16 years and I felt I owed it to him to be there till the end.

Great, now I'm crying too.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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13-05-2014, 08:35 AM
RE: It's time
It shows that you're a caring person, let the tears flow and mourn her passing and let the emotions out.

And let me tell you, it never gets any easier, I've cried like a little girl everytime I had to put one of my "kids" down, even some of the vets have teared up..... it just means your normal.

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
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13-05-2014, 08:39 AM
RE: It's time
(13-05-2014 08:25 AM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  It's common knowledge that nothing lasts forever. As social creatures, we forge strong bonds and connections throughout the course of our lives. Hence, we also suffer from the common cause of sorrow for social animals: loss. Our greatest source of comfort is also our greatest source of grief.

Now, at twenty years of age, one would assume I would already have been confronted loss. It is a tragic reality that sometimes people die far younger than they should. It's not uncommon for somebody that is a close to friend to die by this time. Such is not the case for me. Sure, I've known some of my peers whom have since passed on, but nobody that I was particularly close to. A close friend of mine has yet to kick the bucket.

Usually, our first confrontations with loss are either our grandparents or our childhood pets. Once again, this has not been something I have had to come to terms with yet. All 4 of my grandparents are still alive, a rather impressive feat considering they are all in their 80s now. Also, all three of my cats have managed to make it up to this point, another remarkable situation since I've had them all since I was 5. Sure, we had to put the dog down last summer, but we gave him away years ago to our former housekeeper, so I had emotionally detached from him by that point.

So here I am at twenty years of age, with no proper introduction into the common affliction we all suffer from called loss.

Except now it's time.

The cat currently resting by my feet is being put down tomorrow. It pains me knowing this is Misty's last full day of life. She's almost 17 now. She's the first cat we we got, back when she was just a year old, and I was only 4 1/2. The other cats are only around a year and a half younger than her, but are in much better health. She's slowed down the most in these final years, and there wasn't much doubt that she was going to be the first to go. She had to have a skin tumor removed last fall. She's been having trouble eating for months and vomits up most of what little she can chew. Her fur is thinning and her hearing is fading. She usually can't make it up the stairs anymore to get to the litterbox.

She's old and sick, and it's her time to go. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I feel like most people with a childhood pet have already lost one by now, but all of my pets have managed to reach old age without much of a hitch (even the dog was pretty old by the time he died). This is going to be the first real blow to me in terms of loss.

The worst part is, I can't decide whether I'm going to be able to accompany her in her final moments. I want to be there for her when she goes, to comfort her, but I'm tearing up just fucking thinking about it. This cat has been a piece of my life since I was 4, how am I going to handle it when I feel her stop breathing? Know that all I have left of her are memories? That I'll never hear her meow again or pet her fur? That in that room, where she will peacefully fall into an eternal slumber, that's my last chance to be with her?

I'm crying right now just typing about it. I don't want to leave her to her end without me, but if its this hard just accepting it, how much worse is it going to be when I'm there in the room while the needle goes in? This isn't even my favorite cat and I know I'm going to be bawling my eyes out.

What should I do?

There really isn't any easy way to do what you must do. It is a difficult and very sad thing to have to do. It is a coincidence that your old cat's name ("Misty") is the same as one of my cats....now long deceased.
To date, I've had to put down one dog, and two cats and know that I will have to put down another one when she hits her life limits.
Tho I am too old to do what I'm going to suggest here....I found that a day or two after the "event", I was able to go down to the local animal shelter (in those days, all animals in the shelter were eventually killed) and found a kitty that needed me as much as the cat I'd had to put down. Things worked out fine.......but easy???

No, it won't be.

"People don't go to heaven when they die; they're taken to a special room and burned!" Evil_monster
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13-05-2014, 08:44 AM
RE: It's time
Well, think about it for a moment. Would you want one of your pets comforting you in your final moments? If so, you know what to do. Hug

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13-05-2014, 08:45 AM (This post was last modified: 13-05-2014 08:49 AM by Free Thought.)
RE: It's time
(13-05-2014 08:25 AM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  It's common knowledge that nothing lasts forever. As social creatures, we forge strong bonds and connections throughout the course of our lives. Hence, we also suffer from the common cause of sorrow for social animals: loss. Our greatest source of comfort is also our greatest source of grief.

Now, at twenty years of age, one would assume I would already have been confronted loss. It is a tragic reality that sometimes people die far younger than they should. It's not uncommon for somebody that is a close to friend to die by this time. Such is not the case for me. Sure, I've known some of my peers whom have since passed on, but nobody that I was particularly close to. A close friend of mine has yet to kick the bucket.

Usually, our first confrontations with loss are either our grandparents or our childhood pets. Once again, this has not been something I have had to come to terms with yet. All 4 of my grandparents are still alive, a rather impressive feat considering they are all in their 80s now. Also, all three of my cats have managed to make it up to this point, another remarkable situation since I've had them all since I was 5. Sure, we had to put the dog down last summer, but we gave him away years ago to our former housekeeper, so I had emotionally detached from him by that point.

So here I am at twenty years of age, with no proper introduction into the common affliction we all suffer from called loss.

Except now it's time.

The cat currently resting by my feet is being put down tomorrow. It pains me knowing this is Misty's last full day of life. She's almost 17 now. She's the first cat we we got, back when she was just a year old, and I was only 4 1/2. The other cats are only around a year and a half younger than her, but are in much better health. She's slowed down the most in these final years, and there wasn't much doubt that she was going to be the first to go. She had to have a skin tumor removed last fall. She's been having trouble eating for months and vomits up most of what little she can chew. Her fur is thinning and her hearing is fading. She usually can't make it up the stairs anymore to get to the litterbox.

She's old and sick, and it's her time to go. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I feel like most people with a childhood pet have already lost one by now, but all of my pets have managed to reach old age without much of a hitch (even the dog was pretty old by the time he died). This is going to be the first real blow to me in terms of loss.

The worst part is, I can't decide whether I'm going to be able to accompany her in her final moments. I want to be there for her when she goes, to comfort her, but I'm tearing up just fucking thinking about it. This cat has been a piece of my life since I was 4, how am I going to handle it when I feel her stop breathing? Know that all I have left of her are memories? That I'll never hear her meow again or pet her fur? That in that room, where she will peacefully fall into an eternal slumber, that's my last chance to be with her?

I'm crying right now just typing about it. I don't want to leave her to her end without me, but if its this hard just accepting it, how much worse is it going to be when I'm there in the room while the needle goes in? This isn't even my favorite cat and I know I'm going to be bawling my eyes out.

What should I do?

Welcome to the world, Tartarus.
Whether you realise it or not, you are indeed already in the process of dealing with it; It's a fair thing to say that every human being has their own methods for coping with tragedy, there is no set standard for how a person will or should react to such instances; some put on a mask and do their best to conceal the feels, others lose their shit and break down crying, both are perfectly normal reactions, you, my dear feline aficionado are simply going through the open phases of the process.
The only time you ever need to worry about how you will react to death is when you stop feeling it.

As for the obligatory story as per this section, I didn't attend my cat's putting down. I simply didn't trust myself. And to be honest, when I think of the poor old girl (she was above 20 if I recall), I feel a twang of regret for not going to see her off.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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13-05-2014, 09:44 AM
RE: It's time
I can only tell you what works for me.

My golden retriever, Poppy, had cancer and her life had become on of pretty constant pain. The vet came to my house and Poppy died in my arms, looking into my eyes, in the back yard where we played so happily.

I cried and cried, but would not have wanted her to go without my comfort.

I have had to euthanize many cats over the years, and that is hard as well. But I am comforted by knowing that their suffering was at an end.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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13-05-2014, 09:45 AM
RE: It's time
I never had to face the death of a pet, but I once took care of some abandoned newborn kitties with my sister, and it was really hard when we had to watch two of them slowly die (there was nothing the vet could do).

They are somehow helpless in their unawareness of what will happen. They're just little creatures, dependent on you. Even if your cat does not understand what will be happening, I'm sure the best for her is for you to be by her side.

If you don't go, you will probably regret it. And it's alright if you cry, it's quite cathartic.

Hang in there Hug

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13-05-2014, 09:51 AM (This post was last modified: 13-05-2014 09:56 AM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: It's time
It doesn't matter if you are 8 or 80, you bawl your fucking eyes out when you say goodbye to a loved one….human or pet.

In my final moments, I hope to have the comfort of my loved ones.

sending Hug I have said goodbye to many loved ones, it doesn't get easier. It hurts every time, but having them in my life has made the pain of the end all worth it.

Heart

ps. its a peaceful process when done by a vet. First a paralytic is given- sometimes that is enough, then a powerful drug overdose- morphine? to stop the heart and lungs. And you just hold them and whisper something comforting to them. Many vets will do a paw impression into clay of their foot.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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13-05-2014, 10:04 AM
RE: It's time
(13-05-2014 08:25 AM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  It's common knowledge that nothing lasts forever. As social creatures, we forge strong bonds and connections throughout the course of our lives. Hence, we also suffer from the common cause of sorrow for social animals: loss. Our greatest source of comfort is also our greatest source of grief.

Now, at twenty years of age, one would assume I would already have been confronted loss. It is a tragic reality that sometimes people die far younger than they should. It's not uncommon for somebody that is a close to friend to die by this time. Such is not the case for me. Sure, I've known some of my peers whom have since passed on, but nobody that I was particularly close to. A close friend of mine has yet to kick the bucket.

Usually, our first confrontations with loss are either our grandparents or our childhood pets. Once again, this has not been something I have had to come to terms with yet. All 4 of my grandparents are still alive, a rather impressive feat considering they are all in their 80s now. Also, all three of my cats have managed to make it up to this point, another remarkable situation since I've had them all since I was 5. Sure, we had to put the dog down last summer, but we gave him away years ago to our former housekeeper, so I had emotionally detached from him by that point.

So here I am at twenty years of age, with no proper introduction into the common affliction we all suffer from called loss.

Except now it's time.

The cat currently resting by my feet is being put down tomorrow. It pains me knowing this is Misty's last full day of life. She's almost 17 now. She's the first cat we we got, back when she was just a year old, and I was only 4 1/2. The other cats are only around a year and a half younger than her, but are in much better health. She's slowed down the most in these final years, and there wasn't much doubt that she was going to be the first to go. She had to have a skin tumor removed last fall. She's been having trouble eating for months and vomits up most of what little she can chew. Her fur is thinning and her hearing is fading. She usually can't make it up the stairs anymore to get to the litterbox.

She's old and sick, and it's her time to go. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I feel like most people with a childhood pet have already lost one by now, but all of my pets have managed to reach old age without much of a hitch (even the dog was pretty old by the time he died). This is going to be the first real blow to me in terms of loss.

The worst part is, I can't decide whether I'm going to be able to accompany her in her final moments. I want to be there for her when she goes, to comfort her, but I'm tearing up just fucking thinking about it. This cat has been a piece of my life since I was 4, how am I going to handle it when I feel her stop breathing? Know that all I have left of her are memories? That I'll never hear her meow again or pet her fur? That in that room, where she will peacefully fall into an eternal slumber, that's my last chance to be with her?

I'm crying right now just typing about it. I don't want to leave her to her end without me, but if its this hard just accepting it, how much worse is it going to be when I'm there in the room while the needle goes in? This isn't even my favorite cat and I know I'm going to be bawling my eyes out.

What should I do?

I took my forever kitty to the vet to be put down. My husband refused to go -- he was far too upset. We put it off as long as we could. When the time came, I wouldn't watch them actually put him down, but saw him after.

The point is that we all have limits.

Hug


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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