Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
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20-09-2013, 10:01 AM
Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
They come by at least 2 or 3 times a month and well..my mom lets them in most of the time. Other times we know its them and pretend we're not home which has become harder since we have a dog that barks at everything outside and just doesn't stop. Mom is christian but not the church going type and she knows I'm an atheist and we pretty much have a good laugh when they leave. But really.. I'd rather they not come by to waste their and my time again. Any suggestions or has anyone had a similar encounter?
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20-09-2013, 10:15 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
[Image: MGG-Jehovah.gif]

Put up a "no soliciting" sign.

Maybe one that says:

No soliciting your psychotic beliefs, I have my own.
If you knock on my door I will exhibit my belief's accompanying behavior.

And then make a meanie face, like this ---> Angry

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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20-09-2013, 10:16 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:01 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  They come by at least 2 or 3 times a month and well..my mom lets them in most of the time. Other times we know its them and pretend we're not home which has become harder since we have a dog that barks at everything outside and just doesn't stop. Mom is christian but not the church going type and she knows I'm an atheist and we pretty much have a good laugh when they leave. But really.. I'd rather they not come by to waste their and my time again. Any suggestions or has anyone had a similar encounter?

Ask them not to return.

Or answer the door naked, smeared with ketchup, holding a knife.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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20-09-2013, 10:36 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:16 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 10:01 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  They come by at least 2 or 3 times a month and well..my mom lets them in most of the time. Other times we know its them and pretend we're not home which has become harder since we have a dog that barks at everything outside and just doesn't stop. Mom is christian but not the church going type and she knows I'm an atheist and we pretty much have a good laugh when they leave. But really.. I'd rather they not come by to waste their and my time again. Any suggestions or has anyone had a similar encounter?

Ask them not to return.

Or answer the door naked, smeared with ketchup, holding a knife.
That does sound like a great idea, maybe a few pentagrams too?
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20-09-2013, 10:38 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:36 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 10:16 AM)Chas Wrote:  Ask them not to return.

Or answer the door naked, smeared with ketchup, holding a knife.
That does sound like a great idea, maybe a few pentagrams too?

You can never go wrong with pentagrams. Thumbsup

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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20-09-2013, 10:53 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:36 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 10:16 AM)Chas Wrote:  Ask them not to return.

Or answer the door naked, smeared with ketchup, holding a knife.
That does sound like a great idea, maybe a few pentagrams too?

Nah. Naked, smeared with peanut butter, holding a spatula... the bigger the better.Evil_monster

You can lead a theist to reason, but, you cannot make him think.
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20-09-2013, 10:56 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:38 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 10:36 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  That does sound like a great idea, maybe a few pentagrams too?

You can never go wrong with pentagrams. Thumbsup

I don't think there would be much of a difference if you used an inverted pentagram over a regular one; it's all the same to them.

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20-09-2013, 11:13 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:01 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  They come by at least 2 or 3 times a month and well..my mom lets them in most of the time. Other times we know its them and pretend we're not home which has become harder since we have a dog that barks at everything outside and just doesn't stop. Mom is christian but not the church going type and she knows I'm an atheist and we pretty much have a good laugh when they leave. But really.. I'd rather they not come by to waste their and my time again. Any suggestions or has anyone had a similar encounter?

One suggestion.

Don't let them in your house.

When they are on your steps open the door. When they speak don't speak back just stare and lick your lips. No I am not joking. Just stare no matter what they say and stand there. Do this for about 5 minutes then slowly close the door while they are in mid sentence. They won't come back if you were licking your lips in the right way. Think serial killer in your eyes and they will never set foot there again.

I actually did this and it seems to work so far at least at my house.
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23-09-2013, 04:14 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:01 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  They come by at least 2 or 3 times a month and well..my mom lets them in most of the time. Other times we know its them and pretend we're not home which has become harder since we have a dog that barks at everything outside and just doesn't stop. Mom is christian but not the church going type and she knows I'm an atheist and we pretty much have a good laugh when they leave. But really.. I'd rather they not come by to waste their and my time again. Any suggestions or has anyone had a similar encounter?

Listen to Seths newer podcast about JW's ...then ask them about whatever esoteric nonsense they probably don't even KNOW about their own religion.....

The older one, the Old Salt, always has a neophyte along to train....direct all your inquiries at the young newbie...Don't even acknowledge the older, leader missionary....Unnerves the SHIT out of the Old Salt and once you destabilize the equation, its a breeze. But you must be aggressive if you want to be Captain of The Disavowed Shit List.

Worked for my mother---or me at her house....they were by every third week I swear--mom was helpless to do anything, and still a believer, so she felt guilty. But she complained to me all the time. The main, older guy knew she had been through a loss---so they PREYED on her....

She was not there, I was there on vacation, and the doorbell rang...

I ate that newbie alive. His mentor tried to interrupt me over and over...it was embarrassing... When I reminded him that he rang MY doorbell, and that I was no doormat, in spite of his inbred chauvinistic ideas...I had his ass at "Hello!".

That was almost ten months ago....POOF!!! NO CHRISTARDS interrupting dinner.
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25-09-2013, 10:14 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(20-09-2013 10:36 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 10:16 AM)Chas Wrote:  Ask them not to return.

Or answer the door naked, smeared with ketchup, holding a knife.
That does sound like a great idea, maybe a few pentagrams too?

I know someone who did this. She was a stripper at the time. When she saw the JWs coming we all started laughing at what we should do to them. She stood up, pulled off all her clothes, put on her best stripper shoes and opened the door stark naked. When they started sputtering, she started dancing on the door frame like a pole.

I don't think they ever showed up to her place again.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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