Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
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25-09-2013, 04:22 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(23-09-2013 04:14 PM)Hypatia Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 10:01 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  They come by at least 2 or 3 times a month and well..my mom lets them in most of the time. Other times we know its them and pretend we're not home which has become harder since we have a dog that barks at everything outside and just doesn't stop. Mom is christian but not the church going type and she knows I'm an atheist and we pretty much have a good laugh when they leave. But really.. I'd rather they not come by to waste their and my time again. Any suggestions or has anyone had a similar encounter?

Listen to Seths newer podcast about JW's ...then ask them about whatever esoteric nonsense they probably don't even KNOW about their own religion.....

The older one, the Old Salt, always has a neophyte along to train....direct all your inquiries at the young newbie...Don't even acknowledge the older, leader missionary....Unnerves the SHIT out of the Old Salt and once you destabilize the equation, its a breeze. But you must be aggressive if you want to be Captain of The Disavowed Shit List.

Worked for my mother---or me at her house....they were by every third week I swear--mom was helpless to do anything, and still a believer, so she felt guilty. But she complained to me all the time. The main, older guy knew she had been through a loss---so they PREYED on her....

She was not there, I was there on vacation, and the doorbell rang...

I ate that newbie alive. His mentor tried to interrupt me over and over...it was embarrassing... When I reminded him that he rang MY doorbell, and that I was no doormat, in spite of his inbred chauvinistic ideas...I had his ass at "Hello!".

That was almost ten months ago....POOF!!! NO CHRISTARDS interrupting dinner.
Yup same thing going on it's a mother daughter team and my mother will feel bad to just turn them away. Even though we avoid them when we see them coming to the door. Next time I'm answering that door and yes I listened to the podcast just after my original post. This could workBig Grin
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25-09-2013, 04:41 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
Senior members may want to tune out because I told this story before (and no, I am not going senile Tongue ) but I enjoy reliving it so here goes.

My first husband had a young Boa Constrictor as pet. At the time, I had a habit of reading the paper in my bathrobe in the morning, but I had lost the belt for the robe. So I used the snake, she loved to wrap around my waist and snuggle in the warmth. Snakes love warm spots.

So the door bell rings and I open it and there is a Jehova couple with two kids. The snake stuck it's head and tongue out towards them, trying to see who was there. I said nothing. They stood there like nailed to the floor and stared at the snake. Then dad grabbed the kids and they fled. No one had spoken a word. No witness ever came to our door again.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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25-09-2013, 04:45 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
I guess one good thing about living in small town Oklahoma... I've, thankfully, never had to deal with JWs. The local AoG and Baptist churches are taking a play from the JWs around here and going door to door, though. Sad

All information in the above post is my own opinion and will not
necessarily be logically sound or conform to reality as we know it.

You have been warned. Tongue
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27-09-2013, 03:33 PM
 
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(25-09-2013 04:41 PM)Dom Wrote:  My first husband had a young Boa Constrictor as pet. At the time, I had a habit of reading the paper in my bathrobe in the morning, but I had lost the belt for the robe. So I used the snake, she loved to wrap around my waist and snuggle in the warmth. Snakes love warm spots.

So the door bell rings and I open it and there is a Jehova couple with two kids. The snake stuck it's head and tongue out towards them, trying to see who was there. I said nothing. They stood there like nailed to the floor and stared at the snake. Then dad grabbed the kids and they fled. No one had spoken a word. No witness ever came to our door again.

It's odd that they ran away, because by handling a snake, you fulfilled the first part of Mark 16:18. Consider

Maybe they were just jealous. Smile
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28-09-2013, 12:08 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
Has anyone ever announced their atheism up front? What was the reaction?

The Jehovah's Witnesses have called me the last two Monday afternoons. I've checked the caller ID, the calls are from the local Kingdom Hall. I was eager to engage the lady in debate but both times she ended the conversation after only a few minutes. Do they have to fill a quota? I'm looking forward to next Monday.

Humans arrived on Earth on 22 October 4004 B.C. A few of us are still trying to repair the ship.
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28-09-2013, 12:13 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(25-09-2013 04:41 PM)Dom Wrote:  My first husband had a young Boa Constrictor as pet. At the time, I had a habit of reading the paper in my bathrobe in the morning, but I had lost the belt for the robe. So I used the snake, ...
A large constrictor is the last thing I want around my middle.

Humans arrived on Earth on 22 October 4004 B.C. A few of us are still trying to repair the ship.
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28-09-2013, 04:26 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
(28-09-2013 12:13 AM)f stop Wrote:  
(25-09-2013 04:41 PM)Dom Wrote:  My first husband had a young Boa Constrictor as pet. At the time, I had a habit of reading the paper in my bathrobe in the morning, but I had lost the belt for the robe. So I used the snake, ...
A large constrictor is the last thing I want around my middle.

She was young. She only fit around my waist 1 1/2 times and she wasn't filled in yet, she was thin. And snakes actually get to know people they spend time with. It was not dangerous at all. It was her favorite spot - that and the floor lamp when it was turned on. I wouldn't want a grown one around my waist either, nor a stranger.

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29-09-2013, 04:03 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
I only had to answer the door in my underwear and invite them in. No knife or ketchup required. They did not return.

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30-09-2013, 08:10 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
When I was in high school, I pulled in to the house after school with my girlfriend, and we saw them at the head of the street. A little while later, they interrupted us...so I answered the door with a towel covering my junk (no hands), and she came running up behind me, ass-crack nekkid, and asked them if they wanted to come in.

Never saw them again.

Let your anger be as a monkey in a piƱata...hiding amongst the candy...hoping the kids don't break through with the stick!

---Master Tang---
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01-10-2013, 10:38 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witness inside the house!
As an "ex-JW"...

I can say, Satanists don't frighten them... they just encourage them.

If there's one thing they hate, its Pagans... put up a wicker man, some standing stones and maybe a chalk giant with a big dick. That's likely to ward them off.

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