Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
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24-08-2013, 10:01 PM
Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
Urban Myths - Watchtower Style
Free Minds (ex-Jehovah's Witnesses site)

I have omitted the non-Smurf content.

Quote: ...

Around 1983 or 1984 Smurfs were the all the rage among the kids my age. Somehow stories got started and spread like wildfire about how the Smurfs were demonic. At first I wasn't allowed to watch the TV show because of the characters Gargamel, who was a wizard, and Papa Smurf who practiced magic, if memory serves. Then it became known that several JWs who had overlooked this and bought Smurf items began to have demon troubles.

The one I remember best is a story I related to my JW neighbor's grandmother, who was "worldly" (my mom was furious that I told her this story because she knew the grandmother would think we were all nuts; of course, my mom believed this story, so I guess we were nuts!)

Supposedly, a little girl had been given Smurf curtains for her bedroom and the first night the evil Smurfs were there, she awoke to find they had jumped off the curtains and began dancing around her room, laughing demonically.

...

Paul's Uncle Mark, who is an elder, told him about an occasion that apparently happened in his congregation involving a smurf doll. As the story goes, a new family who had just started studying, were attending the Saturday meeting with their young son. Half way through the meeting , the smurf doll apparentley stood up and declared, " I have had enough of this shit!" and walked out of the meeting on it's lonesome. So it seems even smurfs can detect crap when they hear it ! LOL!

...

A JW family decorated their son’s room with Smurf wallpaper. Shortly afterward they noticed that the kid was covered with tiny red marks one morning. Mom asked if he had felt any bugs in his bed. He said, “No, the smurfs come out of the wallpaper and bite me at night. In the daylight they’re cute and smiling but at night they have sharp teeth.” Those tricky blue devils! So Mom and Dad had to rip down the wallpaper and redo the room. And naturally the wallpaper wouldn’t burn without lots of gasoline.

...

Here's some true "smurf" stories (i myself witnessed):

Smurf Story 1: One fellow Witness woman I knew was very paranoid about the "demonic" nature of the Smurfs. Occasionally, she'd babysit for her neighbors (who were "worldly") and who often played with their kids in a "smurf" kiddie pool. The Witness woman never allowed the kids in the pool while she watched them, always feeling as if the pool might make the toddlers slip and fall or try to drown them.

Smurf Story #2: One Witness mother brought her 3 year old to the supermarket, where the baby always fussed, stuck sitting in the shopping cart. The woman left her child for a few seconds to grab things off the shelf. When she returned, her child had a 3 inch Smurf bendy toy. The good Witness mother immediately took the doll and put it aside, thinking her child grabbed it from somewhere. The taking of toy made the child cry of course, but the mother would not relent. However, over the course of the shopping trip, the child somehow gained access to the toy two more times. The third time, the mother realized that the doll was following her and her baby and that demonic forces were trying to possess the child. The mother grabbed her kid, left the cart and practically ran from the store. Later, I who was employed at the supermarket, discovered one the employees who was stocking shelves kept giving the child the toy so it wouldn't fuss so bad.

...

[Image: 9588556640_1110d63c62_n.jpg]

I believe these stories are "real" in the sense that JWs spread them around among themselves as corroborating evidence of their faith. Not that it was official doctrine or to convince outsiders of course. Whoever made them up knew they were completely plausible (to JWs).

Every religion has its own gullibilities, right? Some Catholics will believe apparitions of the Virgin and crying statue stories even in the absence of official endorsement (let alone evidences).

Some JWs will believe in demon possessed rebellious Smurfs. Blink

Nonsense is nonsense, but the history of nonsense is a very important science.
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24-08-2013, 10:50 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
Science needs to find a cure for stupid.

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24-08-2013, 10:57 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
Something tells me that JWs have issues that go well beyond Smurfs.

(24-08-2013 10:50 PM)Jeffasaurus Wrote:  Science needs to find a cure for stupid.

Science IS the cure for stupid. The problem is that, like most medicines, conspiracy nuts work themselves into a lather refusing to be cured.

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24-08-2013, 10:58 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
(24-08-2013 10:50 PM)Jeffasaurus Wrote:  Science needs to find a cure for stupid.

The problem isn't having the cure, it's getting chronically stupid people to take the medicine.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

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24-08-2013, 11:00 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
Um... I'm not if I should laugh or be concerned that mentally unstable people are give charge of small children.
Really?! Smurfs are evil now? Sigh
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24-08-2013, 11:30 PM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
(24-08-2013 10:58 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  
(24-08-2013 10:50 PM)Jeffasaurus Wrote:  Science needs to find a cure for stupid.

The problem isn't having the cure, it's getting chronically stupid people to take the medicine.

They just need to be told that it's a vaccine; they're stupid they should buy it. As long as vaccination isn't against their religion, it could work. Thumbsup

Aaahh, yes... The question of who determines stupidity....
Anyone who facepalms at the OP's stories is probably qualified.

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25-08-2013, 02:23 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
(24-08-2013 11:30 PM)Jeffasaurus Wrote:  
(24-08-2013 10:58 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  The problem isn't having the cure, it's getting chronically stupid people to take the medicine.

They just need to be told that it's a vaccine; they're stupid they should buy it. As long as vaccination isn't against their religion, it could work. Thumbsup

Aaahh, yes... The question of who determines stupidity....
Anyone who facepalms at the OP's stories is probably qualified.

I hope this was really dry sarcasm. I fear it's not.

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25-08-2013, 04:52 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
Got my cure for stupid right here:

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Now with 40% more awesome.
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25-08-2013, 06:59 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
The smurfs are blue
Blue is a color within a flame
hell is full of flames/fire

The smurfs are demons from the lowest pits of hell.
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25-08-2013, 07:15 AM
RE: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs
Just to make it all valid, as the internet surely does validate several things based on a post by some anonymous person: yes. I was told similar stories about the smurfs when I was a kid.

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