Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
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23-11-2013, 03:53 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 03:51 PM)Chas Wrote:  Where's PleaseJesus to explain this to us?Consider

Probably too busy proselytizing child abuse to pay attention here.Drinking Beverage

I wrote "(Theist input would be appreciated)" for a reason.

...
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23-11-2013, 04:48 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
It's obvious the whole foreskin issue. It's the holy ghost! The Father, The Son and the Holy Gho... Nah, it's not gonna work, no matter how you cut it Tongue

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23-11-2013, 04:50 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 03:16 PM)LostCyborg Wrote:  Dude... don't you know. Yahweh cut off his foreskin and used it to create the universe. We are his foreskin! Duh!
You might think that's a joke but that's actually what greeks believed in.. they believed that Cronus castrated Uranus's balls and that created Us Big Grin
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23-11-2013, 04:58 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 04:50 PM)IndianAtheist Wrote:  You might think that's a joke but that's actually what greeks believed in.. they believed that Cronus castrated Uranus's balls and that created Us Big Grin

Hey... I'm down with that. One of my favorite things about the creation argument is the fact that somehow "God" (whoever or whichever god you are referring to) magically made the universe from nothing, yet its not cool when science makes the observation that it could be possible to get something from nothing, and that with nothing there is a good probability that you will eventually get something.

I think the idea that some god took a big dump and made the universe from his dookie makes more sense than he waved his hands and it magically appeared from nowhere, or in other words god pulled the universe out of his ass?

But I digress... I am patiently awaiting a theist viewpoint of Jesus' foreskin.
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23-11-2013, 06:20 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
If fucking yhwh hates foreskins so much....why did he create them?

Makes him out to be something of a putz.... if you'll forgive the analogy.

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23-11-2013, 06:34 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 01:52 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  
(23-11-2013 01:27 PM)cjlr Wrote:  God created humans in a perfect image of himself.

And then told us to cut part of ourselves off.

Makes perfect sense.

That's a really good summation of it.

Which then leads back the the question of, is Jesus a perfect being, born with it, so that it can be removed, or is he more perfect to have been born without the need to remove it in the first place?

I guess it comes down to, does "God" make an error in creating a foreskin, and wants it removed as soon as possible, which is weird for an omnipotent being to do, who created the thing himself? (in which case a perfect Jesus shouldn't have been born with one)
Or...
Did "God" create the foreskin for the very purpose of being removed, and thus it in needed, ...so that it can be removed as show of commitment to "God"... making it not imperfect. (In which case Jesus may have been born with one, so that it could be removed/ but he could have also been born without one, because he would have been so perfect there would have been no need to give him one to be removed in the first place, which still begs the question.)
Though still problematic, because the one who is cut is a baby, and has no idea, what is happening, thus it remains a meaningless gesture. And what about non Jews, and non Christians, who are cut? TMI...what about a circumcised atheist?

In this second scenario, it would seem that circumcisions are kind of like baptisms. Commitmental ceremonies to "God". But for it to have any real meaning, it seems that it should be done only as an adult, with full awareness of the meaning and implications of it, for it to actually hold any meaning in that individual. It certainly would be more meaningful for a 25 year old man to cut off a piece of his penis Sadcryface2 for "the Lord", than for his parents to do it when he still doesn't even know he has a penis to cut off of.

It's kind of like the question of baptizing babies, before they actually have the ability to make a decision about it. Some Christians would say its meaningless to do that young because the person has to make the decision. And then there are Mormons, who posthumously baptize the dead. Perhaps... Consider ...Mormons should start exhuming bodies from there graves and circumcising their corpses...you know...for there own good...

Actually, it's not that God hates foreskins in the mythology. It's that the circumcision ritual is part of the (old) covenant with God. Doing it to your children, specifically. Which is wacky any way I think about it, but isn't superficially about God hating foreskins. It's symbolic of a pledge rather than doing away with something hateful. Jesus was circumcised because Jesus was going to fulfill the old covenant, and (supposedly) this injury WAS NOT HEALED because it was sacred, rather than profane.

... I'm trying to remember the details of a certain story of one of the Holy Foreskins. But supposedly, its divine nature was confirmed when it was put on the finger of a virgin, like a ring, and it swelled up. ... either that or her virginity was confirmed. Either way.... SO many questions. I swear, I'm not making this story up.
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23-11-2013, 08:00 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 04:50 PM)IndianAtheist Wrote:  You might think that's a joke but that's actually what greeks believed in.. they believed that Cronus castrated Uranus's balls and that created Us Big Grin

I thought Uranus's 'nads were thrown into an ocean and Aphrodite was born? And that the earth we lived on was Gaia, the chick that Uranus had a hardon for, and Gaia asked Cronus to castrate Uranus because Uranus forced Gaia's birth to stay inside of her because he was afraid of his child usurping him?
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23-11-2013, 08:08 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 09:15 AM)cjlr Wrote:  You guys aren't thinking big enough.

Jesus was, of course, circumsized (it says so in Luke, so it must be true).

And of course, we can prove it, by witnessing the miracles attested to the preserved bit of skin itself.

All 8 of them. All across Europe.
(similarly, one might recall that crucifixion used maybe 4 nails; over thirty are recognized as relics)

Of course, these days the Catholic Church tries to pretend such idiocy never happened, and mentioning it will get you excommunicated.

You couldn't make this shit up.

So I guess catholics take holy pilgrimages to here and there so they can kiss the Holy Foreskin....

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23-11-2013, 08:11 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 03:03 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  ...Does "Yahweh" have a foreskin, considering we are made in his own image?

....and an asshole, and nipples, and a belly-button, and an appendix, and...and...

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23-11-2013, 08:15 PM
RE: Jesus’s foreskin? (Theist input would be appreciated)
(23-11-2013 04:48 PM)Monster_Riffs Wrote:  It's obvious the whole foreskin issue. It's the holy ghost! The Father, The Son and the Holy Gho... Nah, it's not gonna work, no matter how you cut it Tongue

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You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
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