Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
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14-07-2011, 01:39 PM
Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
Believe it or not, when I was a kid I was into space and planet exploration I was the father of it. On this one sortie with a squadron combat spacecraft. Scout leader called back in on radio. "Jesus I found heaven" that kind of hit a bone on us heaven being mention so often. We flew unto it there it was a white planet low atmospher that radiated out emissions of heaven peaceful, glorious bliss. We were all intrigued we then orbited on the other side he had a red hot barbaque pit approximately a thousand miles long 400 miles wide. We could hear people screaming in pain and agony and intense horror. We all thought ooooh shit he was such a nice man on the other side.

Years later I return landed. Jesus screamed at me "who are you what do you want." I got out and walk visibility was appx. 25 feet into this white fog the ground white sand and white sandstone. Jesus came out of the fog look almost like his picture but a longer beard and hair. He had a tuff lean carpenter build. He spoke with a Middle Eastern accent, his aura was one of 2000 years ago he. Jesus question me if he could be of service with his funeral business and said he does not take in bodies. I declined I did not need his specialty and flew away and left.
Thats the truth he is an alien with a funeral business. Possibly something happen in his soar system his sheep got out came to my planet and have been ransacking it ever since. They are borned a sin they well not be forgiven until they commit Jesusiside then Jesus will grab them by the hand all the way from his planet yank them there where they are allowed to multiply. So tell every Jesus follower that! He craves his own Jesus solar system on Planet Jesus with him and not to delay kill yourself!

http://youtu.be/3inKNyzl0sw
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14-07-2011, 01:55 PM
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob

The God excuse: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. "God did it." Anything we can't describe must have come from God. - George Carlin

Whenever I'm asked "What if you're wrong?", I always show the asker this video: http://youtu.be/iClejS8vWjo Screw Pascal's wager.
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14-07-2011, 02:11 PM
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
Hahaha, what?

Our brains deceive us on a regular basis, so we have to find ways to fight back.
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14-07-2011, 07:34 PM
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
Ahahahaahahah Jesus-scide, that's fuc*ing great. I'm going to use that even though you clearly didn't mean it as a joke. It is to me. A very funny, sad little joke that I'm sure will get me loads of laughs in my tight circle of friends. Thank you very much.
Where do we keep finding these people?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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15-07-2011, 11:04 AM
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
Either this guy is a nutcase or a genius, probably both. You're right, jesus-cide is possibly the best thing I heard in years.

He has some other interesting posts around this forum...

[Image: 1471821-futurama_bender_s_big_score_imag...er-1-1.jpg]
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15-07-2011, 03:35 PM
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
I think the spelling should be Jesusiside. This is like saying or making a alegiance to Jesus to kill your self. This must be the sacred Egyptian word. Because I become accident prone my brakes go out on me and stuff happens. So if I were into bible worship this extra push might get one killed so I highly recomend you straighten out Jesus people that they are wrong to be on this planet that they may have strayed from the Jesus solar sytem and Jesus is gathering them. Number 1. They are borned a SIN to this earth Number 2. they have not been forgiven until they comply with Jesus orders to commit Jesusiside. Since every Jesus freak uses it as a weapon to poison, maim-ham,genocide human earth inhabitants who were not born a criminal such as they were. To shove the word on them and expect and intend them to kill themselves it is their only ticket back home.
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15-07-2011, 04:00 PM (This post was last modified: 15-07-2011 04:05 PM by NotSoVacuous.)
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
http://www.rosettastone.com/learn-english

"We Humans are capable of greatness." -Carl Sagan
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16-07-2011, 12:56 PM
RE: Jesus does exist on a planet in outerspace!
I ust wish all the rich Christian people I know would do what Jesus says and give everything they own to me! And then commit Jesuscide to ascend to heaven. That way everyone would be happy.

The way to see by Faith, is to shut the eye of Reason. - Ben Franklin
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