Jesus is a cheater
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19-08-2015, 10:39 AM
Jesus is a cheater
Jesus was on Ahsley Madison

Well, what do you expect. The dude hangs out with whores. Laughat

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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19-08-2015, 10:45 AM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
If he's cheating, who's his wife?

I mean, I guess it's "the church", but I don't even know what that means. If it's just the institution, I can see that as being pretty unsatisfying and I'd see why he did this. But if it's the entire congregation, he's gotta be one unsatisfied motherfucker. 2.5 billion people to choose from isn't enough, so he has to start this account to go looking for more?

SMH.
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19-08-2015, 10:46 AM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
Oh no!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt. 5
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19-08-2015, 10:50 AM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
(19-08-2015 10:45 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  If he's cheating, who's his wife?

I mean, I guess it's "the church", but I don't even know what that means. If it's just the institution, I can see that as being pretty unsatisfying and I'd see why he did this. But if it's the entire congregation, he's gotta be one unsatisfied motherfucker. 2.5 billion people to choose from isn't enough, so he has to start this account to go looking for more?

SMH.

All those nuns, of course. I mean, can you really blame him though. He's married to all those celibate women.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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19-08-2015, 10:51 AM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
(19-08-2015 10:46 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Oh no!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt. 5

I'm so fucked. I don't think I have much left of me that hasn't "sinned". Wink

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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19-08-2015, 10:53 AM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
(19-08-2015 10:46 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Oh no!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt. 5

Well, remember: he already went to hell. It's just he got out after just over a two-day stint, as opposed to the eternity that awaits the rest of us heathens. So, he can pretty much do whatever he wants, now.

Jesus is proof that the rules don't apply for the top 0.0000000001%
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19-08-2015, 10:57 AM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
(19-08-2015 10:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(19-08-2015 10:46 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Oh no!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt. 5

I'm so fucked. I don't think I have much left of me that hasn't "sinned". Wink

Easy for Jesus to say, he could always miraculously grow back the offending body part, like some kind of Lizard King.
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19-08-2015, 08:05 PM
RE: Jesus is a cheater
(19-08-2015 10:57 AM)julep Wrote:  
(19-08-2015 10:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I'm so fucked. I don't think I have much left of me that hasn't "sinned". Wink

Easy for Jesus to say, he could always miraculously grow back the offending body part, like some kind of Lizard King.

You mean this Lizard King Jesus right? Maybe the Creationists were on to something...

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