Jesus isn't coming back
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06-04-2017, 02:27 PM
Jesus isn't coming back
He needs to hurry up and do it before we start colonizing other planets. It's going to be hard to pull the revelation shit off when we are in a different part of the galaxy.
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06-04-2017, 02:28 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
(06-04-2017 02:23 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  What no one has realized yet is that Jesus came back last week, plopped down in Syria. Assad with the help of the Russians gassed him. Drinking Beverage

He wasn't long for this world...again.

I heard that he's tried to come back several times, but he keeps on getting deported back to Mexico. Smile

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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06-04-2017, 02:41 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
Wait what??? Jesus isn't coming back? Who knew?

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
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06-04-2017, 02:59 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
Nope, he is not coming back. He is not Slim Shady after all.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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06-04-2017, 03:37 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
(06-04-2017 02:59 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  Nope, he is not coming back. He is not Slim Shady after all.

Fuck

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
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06-04-2017, 03:53 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
Consider Why is Jesus finding it so difficult to come back? The Dali Lama has done it 13 time already.

I’ll be a story in your head, but that’s okay, because we’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Because it was, you know. It was the best.
The Doctor
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06-04-2017, 04:48 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
Reminds me of one of Bill Burr's stand up where he talks about why he stopped believing. He said he hated going to church because "he hasn't come back yet and we're just kinda churning over the same shit. I think I got it!"

Which actually was another thing that helped turn me away from it all; when you step back and realize all these people meet every week to study the same book for centuries now. Towards the end of my church going I remember them talking about having a new Bible study on Acts or Romans one, and the preacher was acting all excited. Like a light bulb going off I thought "How the hell do you not know that book verbatim by now? You've been studying it for 50 years!" They kept pushing bible study as "exciting" because "you find new things every time"? HOW? It's the same damn book. The only way you find new stuff is if you change your interpretation of it; the words ain't changing dude.

And of course this is yet another thing that is ok because it's religion but anything else it would been seen as stupid. If a group of people meet 1-2 times a week to read and talk about Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone (not the whole series, just that one book), everyone would think they were weird as hell. And don't give me this crap about the "Bible is a group of books", the whole thing is like half a Tolkien book in length.
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06-04-2017, 07:10 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
Hey, If Jesus isn't coming back then,
I want my fuc'n money (and spent life) back!?
(gladly give up this box of bibles I collected too)

You have to be odd to be #1.
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06-04-2017, 10:51 PM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
Mr. Christ has been attempting to return all over the world almost daily for hundreds of years but keeps getting digested by Catholics who swallow instead of spit.
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07-04-2017, 03:09 AM
RE: Jesus isn't coming back
There was a short film I watched a few years back, on the subject of Jesus returning.

He returned, at random, in modern day London, and walked into the first pub he saw to announce his return. This was a real working class pub, and nobody really cared he was there. He performs miracles, (turning water into wine), but nobody believes it to be true, and eventually a big fight breaks out. As the turmoil heats up, as it tends to do in low end British pubs, (tables are broken/windows smashed, people knocked out), Jesus just walks back outside and re-ascends to heaven, thinking it's not worth it.

I think it was supposed to be a religious thing, as if "see what would happen", but I do agree that IF (and or course it isn't going to happen) but IF that were to happen, he probably would get totally ignored as a crazy person, and just disappear again.

I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
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