Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
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17-10-2015, 08:17 PM (This post was last modified: 18-10-2015 01:17 AM by FreeThinker1994.)
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
Hi, all.

I haven't been around TTA much as of late because the semester is now in full swing!

I decided not to join the fraternity. Here is why, for those who will see this in the future contemplating joining...

1. Individualism. While my particular chapter really does value and respect individualism to a point, there are certain core values of the organization (like a very right-wing idea of patriotism) that are really drilled into the heads of potential and initiated members. It's very annoying. I decided I can only roll my eyes for so long. I prefer to decide myself how to feel about certain topics and issues.

2. Time. This group demands a lot of time. There are so many activities (many of which are philanthropic) that this fraternity easily takes up more than half of my free time. What's more, I am involved in academic honors societies and social clubs in relation to my major. I must be active in those, for my resume and for the connections they help me make. What's more, my field (social work) really isn't one where prospective employers are going to favor me if they see a few Greek letters on my resume.

3. Religion. A lot of this group's "traditions" are based on Protestant Christianity. And even the things that aren't explicitly religious are adhered to as though this fraternity was its own religion. Fraternity and sorority life is fascinating to me. However, it's too much like a cult. I value my independence and freedom too much to be part of some silly organization.

4. Money. I go to a school that is fairly inexpensive. I recently found out that I would be expected to pay a little more than $400 each semester to be part of this group. I'm at school on a scholarship, and while I do get money left over after tuition is paid, I can't justify spending around $800 per year.

Ultimately I love most of the guys. They were my friends before and they'll be friends after. My experience in their fraternity has really strengthened our relationships. But the thing is, I feel I can be friends with them without being part of their group. I want their friendship, but I don't want to pay to be affiliated with the same organization. And for what? Greek life doesn't really offer anything I want. I've just been so interested because so many of my friends were involved. But considering everything I have said above (especially the part about dues), I just can't justify going on.

I've told one of the guys I'm closest to that I won't be continuing. He's very disappointed. I've promised to continue going to meetings (it's nearly initiation week). I'm fine going to the meetings with the other pledges, while I have the time. But once that initiation time approaches, I'm out. I'm really going to have to put my foot down with this. I'm flattered they like me so much. But at the end of the day, fraternities are a bunch of nonsense.
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17-10-2015, 11:11 PM
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
Good for you, man. Well-reasoned-out.

I think you're going to do very well in life.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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23-10-2015, 08:15 AM
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
(08-09-2015 08:22 AM)daniel1948 Wrote:  I'd skip the fraternity and spend my time studying instead. Some people go to college to have parties now that they're away from home and no longer under their parents' thumb. Fraternities are perfect for them. Other people go to college to get an education. Fraternities are a distraction for them. Spend your college time studying. It will do you more good in the long run.
I agree.

However, there is the argument (which I don't buy) that joining a frat gets you into the Old Boy Network.

Sapere aude
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03-11-2015, 10:46 AM (This post was last modified: 03-11-2015 10:50 AM by FreeThinker1994.)
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
Since this has pretty much turned into my own personal narrative, I figured I'd update one last time.

So...I had trouble throwing in the towel. My "big brother" would always come up with reasons for me to stay in the fraternity (like how I really can afford it if I only budget, and things like that). I ended up keeping up with meetings and events as much as possible until the other day.

Our weekly business meetings are on Sundays. This was the last one before "hell week", and then initiation at the end (though it's not really a hell week as far as I'm told, just a bunch of homoerotic team building exercises that last until 3am). After the meeting, the whole chapter interviewed potential initiates separately. The interview was simple.

During my walk back to my dorm to change out of my suit, I was dreading getting the call to go back to the house (to spend every night of the week there, as part of the special week). I stopped for coffee, and ran into a favorite person working at the campus coffee shop. She asked why I was dressed up, which sparked a conversation about fraternities. She explained why she would never join a sorority.

Then I had my epiphany - it was the point of no return, and I had to make a choice. I realized I did not want to join, and I didn't have to if I didn't want to. No one could force me. What's more - I had to quit now before I handed them the check for the rest of my dues, or else there went 1/4 of my next paycheck.

I called the appropriate brother, and he made me talk to a couple of them. It took a lot actually quit. They told me how much they liked me and wanted me in their group (which, as a person of low self esteem, is amazing to hear). But I said no. Then I put my phone in a drawer, and danced around my room while thinking about the weight that had been lifted from my shoulders.

I woke up Monday to around 10 missed calls from brothers. I see them around. They're a little pissed at me, but I feel so good. I feel empowered that I made this decision by myself, and after going as far as possible without having to fork over the extra money (no one can say I didn't give it my best try).

I'm happy. Smile
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03-11-2015, 01:09 PM
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
(03-11-2015 10:46 AM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  I called the appropriate brother, and he made me talk to a couple of them. It took a lot actually quit. They told me how much they liked me and wanted me in their group (which, as a person of low self esteem, is amazing to hear). But I said no. Then I put my phone in a drawer, and danced around my room while thinking about the weight that had been lifted from my shoulders.

I woke up Monday to around 10 missed calls from brothers. I see them around. They're a little pissed at me, but I feel so good. I feel empowered that I made this decision by myself, and after going as far as possible without having to fork over the extra money (no one can say I didn't give it my best try).

I'm happy. Smile

See the bold stuff? That's classic control stuff practiced by every in-group / cult since time began. Well done for dodging that bullet.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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03-11-2015, 01:24 PM
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
(03-11-2015 10:46 AM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  I woke up Monday to around 10 missed calls from brothers. I see them around. They're a little pissed at me, but I feel so good. I feel empowered that I made this decision by myself, and after going as far as possible without having to fork over the extra money (no one can say I didn't give it my best try).

I'm happy.

I'm late to this thread, but I've taken the time to read through your "saga".

I'm pleased that you've made the decision not to join the fraternity—well done. As I read through your comments, I couldn't help but notice the relatively large numbers of times you said "it looks good, but.....". To me, there were all sorts of warning signals there, maybe coming through unwittingly, I dunno, just too many "buts".

And I know, as a lifelong atheist, I just couldn't have stomached the subtle Christian ethos, and the prayers etc. Good luck. Thumbsup

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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03-11-2015, 01:30 PM
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
My god they act like a crazy ex.

Anyways, 800 bucks a year is quite a bit. I can't even justify shelling out 150 bucks a year for a gym membership.

Good job. I'm sure a frat would be a life changing experience, but it depends on the type of person you are. If I were to join a frat I would want it to be about the things I value. If this were a frat about drinking/drugs/parties/religion I wouldn't be interested. Not my thing.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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03-11-2015, 02:08 PM
RE: Joining a fraternity that's influenced by Christianity.
I couldnt join a religious group. I have a hard time respecting religious people.

However if you think it won't annoy yout then join.
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