Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
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27-07-2014, 03:34 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
Welcome to The Damned, The Godless, Those That Have A Special Place In Hell Set Aside For Them..... blah blah.
Hopefully she doesn't dedicate the rest of her and your mortal existence to " bringing you to the Lord".
All the best.
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27-07-2014, 08:49 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
My father, a well educated ordained church minister would have had you and your fiancé come for counselling. By that, he'd ask poignant questions. Because of this huge division, he'd likely have refused to perform the ceremony, knowing divorce would occur in the not too distant future. Do you really wish to live in Holy Deadlock?
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27-07-2014, 07:10 PM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
Your marriage would be a disaster!!
You would drive eachother nutz!
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28-07-2014, 09:51 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
Wait wait wait. She sticks to ALL the tenets of her faith? So.. You're not bangin' your fiancé?

Free yourself, son.

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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28-07-2014, 10:07 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
sigh, I would love to be able to say this can be worked out, that compromise is possible, but that would be a lie, and I hate liars. I cannot see any scenario where this would work out unless she was to rid herself of her delusion. Even if you both made an agreement that each of your views will not be discussed in front of the other or to each other. Each sunday she goes to church, while you sleep in etc...this is kicking the can down the road...it will erode your relationship from the inside out with time, this will inevitably end, and not well. Walk away before there are children tied to this tragedy in the making. There are millions of people out there, the odds are in your favor you will find one with the same views in religion, politics etc.

OR

You can begin your life sentence now, plaster on a smile, and practice saying amen brother, go along with her to church, slap on a 1,000 yard stare and try to grind through each and every service while you listen to absolute BS, and then get to hear your wife say Yes!, Amen brother after every BS phrase rev bob spits out.......sorry to say it, if you can not enlighten her, there is no way something so important to her, is not going to wiggle its way betwixt the two of you....walk away, every day that goes by while you twist in the wind is a day you could have been happy elsewhere. Life is too precious to waste, take control of your life and your happiness. Best of luck.

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.” - Christopher Hitchens
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28-07-2014, 10:33 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
It may have been said already, but I wanted to add one thing.

As with most relationships, it isn't important that she agrees with you so much as it is important that she accepts you.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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28-07-2014, 11:37 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
Unless you become a genuine believer...I don't mean someone that believes to please her...but a genuine passionate believer,
or she becomes an Atheist/Agnostic, your marriage to her would be a fiasco (HELL!).
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28-07-2014, 11:47 AM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
I'm sure this has been said repeatedly but Im going to say it again.

A good relationship is based on mutual respect and trust. If even one of these are lacking it just wont work.

You do not want to spend the rest of your life having these horrible feelings and fights. Leave now before anyone can be truly hurt. Find someone who can respect you for what you believe, even if they dont agree with it and will trust you to be a good person either way.

"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." Soren Kierkegaard
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28-07-2014, 01:21 PM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
This has nothing to do with religion. Dude, your chick hates doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

She's been trying to push you away but you keep coming up with these "changes" to make the "relationship" more appealing to her. All it does and all it will ever do, is piss her off because she will keep feeling she has to push harder to get you away from her. This will only breed more and more intense resentment within her.

From your point of view: you love each other.

From her point of view: you love her.

This is not a reciprocal situation.
***

You pursued her and she let you, because she liked it. Good times; you got what you wanted, she got what she wanted.

Now, when it comes time for her to pursue you - in other words: work on the relationship - she has no intention of doing any such thing. Why? Because: A she does not want a relationship (she's probably just figuring out how they work) ... and B if she does what a relationship, she does not want it with you.

Ironically, she got used to you pursuing her so much and now she's trying like shit to get away from you! You are probably really getting on her nerves.

Give her what she wants and get away from her, now.
You are not doing her any good by sticking around, getting on her nerves... she most likely feels as if you are forcing her to push you away. She's probably incapable of taking responsibility for this; everything is god/jesus or your, no yes, your fault... it's all your fault!! and satan! Blink

Please, Undecided leave her before she advances to crazy bitch status.

You are not doing yourself any good by sticking around, either.
You have been obsessed with her at your own expense.
Stop being obsessed with her and give her back her life; it is what she wants.
***

You need your self back.
Be strong and cut all ties.
Do not see her and do not let her see you.
No contact is best for both of you - it lessens confusion and future resentments over who wasted who's time.

Put all photos of her in a box and place it in the bottom of your parent's back bedroom closet and block her on your cell and all social media for a minimum of 4 years.

Ok, that last sentence could be optional... but you get the gist. Shy

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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28-07-2014, 03:09 PM
RE: Just Venting - Will lose my Fiance if I don't "find god"
(28-07-2014 01:21 PM)kim Wrote:  Give her what she wants and get away from her, now.
You are not doing her any good by sticking around, getting on her nerves... she most likely feels as if you are forcing her to push you away. She's probably incapable of taking responsibility for this; everything is god/jesus or your, no yes, your fault... it's all your fault!! and satan! Blink
Man, that's my failed relationship right there Sadcryface

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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