Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
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15-05-2012, 10:19 AM
 
Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
I don’t think I estimated the impact of publishing The Veridican Gospel of Jesus Christ, the impact on me that is. There is no moving forward from it. I try to stay religious but I can’t. It’s all falling away. It just seems like it’s all finished. Veridicanism is finished and there’s nothing more to argue about.

If one doesn’t believe in God, then they will never care about Jesus Christ. If they don’t care about Jesus Christ, then they will never see the divine wisdom he taught that serves us now and in the life to come. If they can’t see that wisdom, then they will never understand why the Gospel of Thomas has to be included in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But who cares? My job was simply to write it. It’s God’s job to worry about the rest, and it seems the more involved I make myself in it beyond the writing of it the more likely I am to muck it all up.

Dom suggested I write novels; I think he’s right. I’ve written one, Caretakers of Eternity, and I’m working on another now, and it’s all I want to do. I don’t think I’m very good at telling the truth directly. I would like to think that’s because, I’m ahead of my time, but it may just be that I’m incompetent in that regard. For those of you who know astrology. Saturn sits unopposed in the third house of my natal chart. I think it represents the difficulty I have in communicating religious truth directly.

But fiction is different. Fiction is subversive. If it’s good, it gets the truth in and you don’t even know it. That’s why the Gospels are written in fiction narrative. There are things I believe that I am incompetent to talk about directly: the existence of God, the nature of God, the meaning of Christ, the lucid spiritual plane, and the hell of reincarnation. To talk about these things directly always leads to a kind of insane rambling. It’s like you have to look at them out of the corner of your eye to see them properly. Look at them directly and they go all out of focus.

I’ll always come in here to argue with atheists. I mean that’s just good clean fun, but I don’t think I want a website dedicated to religion anymore. I want my religion to go back to being just me and God and the prayer journals that I keep. I don’t want to impose it on others, because basically, I want it just for me. Like a child, I want to hold on to it and say, “You can’t have it!”

On a less selfish note, perhaps, I would like to keep these things internal, like a radioactive core fueling the ideas I use in fiction and the occasional poem. I think it would be cool to go back to reviewing books, interpreting dreams, and all the while playing the literature lottery and hoping for the next bestseller.
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15-05-2012, 10:43 AM
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
I hope you keep your site. I like it and go there often, I especially like the forum reviews and have found them useful though they seem to have disappeared Sad.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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15-05-2012, 11:28 AM
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
I sense the early stages of atheism infecting Egor's mind :/

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15-05-2012, 11:34 AM
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
(15-05-2012 11:28 AM)nach_in Wrote:  I sense the early stages of atheism infecting Egor's mind :/
I get the sense that this is not the case and that Egor is more so reflecting upon how his religious views are perceived by other theists.

I don't get a say in it though, so he would have to elaborate further.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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15-05-2012, 11:44 AM
 
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
(15-05-2012 10:43 AM)Hughsie Wrote:  I hope you keep your site. I like it and go there often, I especially like the forum reviews and have found them useful though they seem to have disappeared Sad.

I don't think I'm going to do that. I don't think I want to be associated with that beyond having published the Veridican Gospel of Jesus Christ. I really think the only religious statement I want to make is that Gospel and nothing more.

I don't know what's come over me, but all I want to do is be completely dissociated from religion.

(15-05-2012 11:28 AM)nach_in Wrote:  I sense the early stages of atheism infecting Egor's mind :/

No, see that's just it. It's not for atheism that I feel this way, but the opposite. I truly believe in God, but religion I see as a kind of atheism, because it espouses a kind of god that doesn't exist. The greater revelation I have of God, the less religious I want to be--and that includes being an atheist. I'm sorry, but there are few people as religious as an atheist.

Religion and God are not the same thing.
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15-05-2012, 11:48 AM
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
Ah! but atheism is not a religion, you stil think about it like it is, but it's not. You'll realize the difference some day, and that's why I say you're in the early stages... or maybe not, and I'm just talking nonsense which is more likely Tongue

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15-05-2012, 12:26 PM
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
(15-05-2012 10:19 AM)Egor Wrote:  Dom suggested I write novels; I think he’s right.


I am female. Big Grin

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-05-2012, 12:43 PM
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
(15-05-2012 10:19 AM)Egor Wrote:  I don’t think I estimated the impact of publishing The Veridican Gospel of Jesus Christ, the impact on me that is. There is no moving forward from it. I try to stay religious but I can’t. It’s all falling away. It just seems like it’s all finished. Veridicanism is finished and there’s nothing more to argue about.

If one doesn’t believe in God, then they will never care about Jesus Christ. If they don’t care about Jesus Christ, then they will never see the divine wisdom he taught that serves us now and in the life to come. If they can’t see that wisdom, then they will never understand why the Gospel of Thomas has to be included in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But who cares? My job was simply to write it. It’s God’s job to worry about the rest, and it seems the more involved I make myself in it beyond the writing of it the more likely I am to muck it all up.

Dom suggested I write novels; I think he’s right. I’ve written one, Caretakers of Eternity, and I’m working on another now, and it’s all I want to do. I don’t think I’m very good at telling the truth directly. I would like to think that’s because, I’m ahead of my time, but it may just be that I’m incompetent in that regard. For those of you who know astrology. Saturn sits unopposed in the third house of my natal chart. I think it represents the difficulty I have in communicating religious truth directly.

But fiction is different. Fiction is subversive. If it’s good, it gets the truth in and you don’t even know it. That’s why the Gospels are written in fiction narrative. There are things I believe that I am incompetent to talk about directly: the existence of God, the nature of God, the meaning of Christ, the lucid spiritual plane, and the hell of reincarnation. To talk about these things directly always leads to a kind of insane rambling. It’s like you have to look at them out of the corner of your eye to see them properly. Look at them directly and they go all out of focus.

I’ll always come in here to argue with atheists. I mean that’s just good clean fun, but I don’t think I want a website dedicated to religion anymore. I want my religion to go back to being just me and God and the prayer journals that I keep. I don’t want to impose it on others, because basically, I want it just for me. Like a child, I want to hold on to it and say, “You can’t have it!”

On a less selfish note, perhaps, I would like to keep these things internal, like a radioactive core fueling the ideas I use in fiction and the occasional poem. I think it would be cool to go back to reviewing books, interpreting dreams, and all the while playing the literature lottery and hoping for the next bestseller.
Sounds to me like you've taken the first step into discovering that a God either flat out doesn't exist or does not interfere or care to interfere with humans. It'll be a few years, but I have a feeling you'll come to that conclusion.

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

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15-05-2012, 05:53 PM
 
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
(15-05-2012 11:48 AM)nach_in Wrote:  Ah! but atheism is not a religion, you stil think about it like it is, but it's not. You'll realize the difference some day, and that's why I say you're in the early stages... or maybe not, and I'm just talking nonsense which is more likely Tongue

Ah, but it is. I mean, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck and demands rights under the First Amendment--and gets them; that's a religion. And if it isn't? It's too much like one for me. Besides, I believe in God.

(15-05-2012 12:26 PM)Dom Wrote:  Sounds to me like you've taken the first step into discovering that a God either flat out doesn't exist or does not interfere or care to interfere with humans. It'll be a few years, but I have a feeling you'll come to that conclusion.

If I were a Christian, I would agree with you. Actually, if I were a Christian, I would already be an atheist. But as a Veridican, I define God as the monistic entity of fundamental consciousness. I do that because of experiences I've had and observations I've made, not to mention logical arguments. So, that's probably not going to change. I would have to deny what has essentially been proven to me. In a way, there's no reason for it too. When you think about it, the definition implies a Creator of the Universe, but being monistic means there is no "other" thing that is God. There is only God. When people typically believe in God, they think of Him as "other" than they are. What I'm trying to say is that what I define as God, may not really even meet the definition of God, which means I may have been an atheist for the last 19 years.

It may well be the case that in order to say you believe in God, there necessarily must be a "you" and a "God." If either one is missing, then God doesn't exist. If there is no God, then there is no God. If there is no "you" and there is only God, then there is no God because God can't have a god.

Between atheists and Veridicans then, what has to be argued is not God. What has to be determined is whether or not consciousness is an emergent property of neuronal activity or if it is external to the physical world entirely.
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15-05-2012, 06:11 PM (This post was last modified: 15-05-2012 06:45 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Just a Bunch of Rambling About Me and My Issues
(15-05-2012 05:53 PM)Egor Wrote:  Between atheists and Veridicans then, what has to be argued is not God. What has to be determined is whether or not consciousness is an emergent property of neuronal activity or if it is external to the physical world entirely.

I'm liking the new "I want to stop being an asshole" Egor. Thumbsup

Don't think it needs to be determined (Dunno why we even feel this seemingly insatiable need for certainty? Feels like an exercise in futility to me cause we already know we ain't gonna find it. Ain't logically possible.), but it's worth exploring. Practically, Girly couldn't give a shit either way but it is worthy of academic discourse. Here's a link to an article I found interesting. You may or may not find it interesting. The Unobservable Mind.

(15-05-2012 10:19 AM)Egor Wrote:  If one doesn’t believe in God, then they will never care about Jesus Christ.

Bullshit. I don't believe in no gods, but I still read the Red Letters of the New Testament regularly as needed. Hell, I get even more inspiration from them now than I did as a Christian some 35 years ago now. ... And reading just the Red Letters I ain't at all sure that Jesus wasn't an atheist and all the "My father's" weren't just allegorical references to the Golden Rule. Don't see much difference myself between the Red Letters and the precepts of Buddhism.

(15-05-2012 10:19 AM)Egor Wrote:  I want my religion to go back to being just me and God and the prayer journals that I keep. I don’t want to impose it on others, because basically, I want it just for me. Like a child, I want to hold on to it and say, “You can’t have it!”

Ain't no metaphysics other than personal metaphysics. Sharing it is a personal call, but proselytizing it is an abomination to the premise that there ain't no metaphysics other than personal metaphysics. Veridicanism ain't dead, Veridicanism has been absorbed into your personal metaphysics. I don't see nothing wrong with that. Wink

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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