Just going to jump in here...
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06-03-2015, 08:31 PM
Just going to jump in here...
I've been lurking for a while, but haven't gotten around to introducing myself because I feel overwhelmed by my story. Its so long and complicated and I don't think anyone would want to read a novel of an introduction. I'd really like to surround myself with like minds, however, so I've decided to introduce myself in a short, sweet way.

I'm Anna, a 25-year-old from Wisconsin. I was baptized Catholic as an infant (my parents claim it was just to please grandparents) and raised in a non-denominational Christian church for the years I can actually remember. I was homeschooled my entire life (with the exception of my senior year to a get a real diploma, but it was an online school so basically still homeschooled then too). My mother had gotten in the the "Quiverful" movement at a later time in her life, otherwise I'm sure she would have had more than 6 children. My memories throughout childhood aren't necessarily tragic, but I definitely remember quite a lot of spanking, guilt trips and being told I will never be good enough unless I keep God in my life.

On 9/11 I was 11 years old, and remember being quite scared, but the real trouble didn't start until our church started proclaiming it was now the end of the world, and Christ would return any day. I developed terrible anxiety that I would be "left behind" and woke up literally every night to check the beds of all of my family members to be sure they were still here. I was terrified of being left alone. To this day, even though I no longer believe, I still sometimes have this fear. I know it is irrational, but when it gets too quiet and there is no sign of anybody around me, I get feelings of panic.

I am a single parents, never married, to a 2.5 year old now, and am currently trying to recover from (and not return to) a relationship which was emotionally and verbally abusive towards me, and unfortunately physically abusive for my sweet little boy. It is a struggle, but I am very ashamed to have been in this relationship and let it go on for so long (even though I have just recently become aware that it actually was abusive) and I'm afraid to share my thoughts and current beliefs with my family (who are mostly still very strong believers). They do not know that my son was injured by his father, and I am ashamed to tell them because I am afraid they will try to push Jesus on me and tell me this is all my fault because I have rejected God.

Anyways, that is my story in a nutshell. There is so much more to it, but I'm hoping at least some of you can relate. I really just want to find and connect with other people who have been through the same struggles so I can attempt to overcome mine. Thanks for listening Smile
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06-03-2015, 08:33 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Welcome Anna. Smile


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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06-03-2015, 08:36 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Welcome to TTA! Feel free to jump right in. Thumbsup

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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06-03-2015, 08:46 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Welcome aboard, Anna.

Yup, there are many here who can identify with your story.

You are definitely not, and never will be, alone.

Hug

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06-03-2015, 08:49 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Welcome aboard, my parents were from up der in Wisconsin.
Big Grin
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[+] 1 user Likes pablo's post
06-03-2015, 08:52 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Welcome!

I lived in Wisconsin for two years when I was in 4th and 5th grade. My best friend has lived there since we were seniors in high school.

Hang around a while. Good people here!

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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06-03-2015, 08:56 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Wow, I didn't expect so many replies so soon! Thanks everyone who has replied so far- I can already tell I'm in good company Smile
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[+] 1 user Likes EditingBeauty's post
06-03-2015, 09:07 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Welcome, you'll find a lot of friends here.

Check out my now-defunct atheism blog. It's just a blog, no ads, no revenue, no gods.
----
Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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06-03-2015, 09:23 PM
RE: Just going to jump in here...
Hello! Big Grin
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