Just jokes
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07-09-2016, 04:46 PM
RE: Just jokes
Why do Baptists object so strongly to pre-marital sex?
They're afraid it might lead to drinking and dancing.

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07-09-2016, 04:55 PM
RE: Just jokes
Sorta like...

Why don't Baptists fuck standing up???

They don't want anyone to think they might be dancing...

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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07-09-2016, 05:17 PM
RE: Just jokes
(07-09-2016 04:55 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Sorta like...

Why don't Baptists fuck standing up???

They don't want anyone to think they might be dancing...

I laughed way too hard at that...




There are three truths in religion:
Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader
of the Christian faith.
Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

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08-09-2016, 04:25 AM
RE: Just jokes
A Muslim guy was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD.Being interested I asked him to burn me a copy -------- well, talk about getting upset!

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike
Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat (The excrement of the bull causes wisdom to flee)
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08-09-2016, 06:59 AM
RE: Just jokes
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now"

"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.

"Oh so sad dear" says the other.

"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21"

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".

"He's a martyr too " says mum quietly.

"Oh gracious me ...." says the other.

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18", she whispers.

"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike
Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat (The excrement of the bull causes wisdom to flee)
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08-09-2016, 08:12 AM
RE: Just jokes
A Muslim caliph recently requested that naked statues be covered up during his visit to Rome.

... Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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08-09-2016, 08:20 AM
RE: Just jokes
(08-09-2016 06:59 AM)Silly Deity Wrote:  Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now"

"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.

"Oh so sad dear" says the other.

"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21"

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".

"He's a martyr too " says mum quietly.

"Oh gracious me ...." says the other.

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18", she whispers.

"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"

ok, this one goes straight to my fb page...too funny!
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08-09-2016, 09:53 AM
RE: Just jokes
Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah? Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
--
Bishop Henrickson walks into a parish, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
The man said, "I do bishop."
The Bishop said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the Bishop asked the second man, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
"Certainly, bishop," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the Bishop. Then Bishop Henrickson walked up to a third man and said, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
The third man said, "No, I don't sir."
The Bishop said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to Heaven?"
The man said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
The Bishop gave a hearty laugh and said, "Of course not my son. Now go stand by that wall while I go get some Kool Aid."

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08-09-2016, 06:33 PM
RE: Just jokes
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Owls.

Owls who?

Indeed. They do.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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08-09-2016, 06:38 PM
RE: Just jokes



Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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