Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
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29-10-2013, 12:57 PM
RE: Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
(20-10-2013 10:26 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  We don't need to convince ourselves that god isn't real... Only realize that everything still works without god, and the lack of evidence will speak for itself.
This is very well put both in what it says and in its brevity.


(20-10-2013 01:19 PM)LostandInsecure Wrote:  I am not looking for a new belief system. I am just struggling with letting god go I guess. I don't know if you've every been religious, but I know I was raised never to let facts influence my faith. Which is ridiculous. I'm an intelligent person. I know how to think on my own and make educated decisions. What I don't know is how to squander that tiny voice in the back of my mind that is always saying, what if you're wrong? Facts are not enough sometimes, truth is not enough either. The more I think about it I think time is the only thing that will be enough.
The best advice I can give you on this is to be patient. It took me about two years to come to terms with my own lack of belief. I spent most of that time trying to make myself believe in God again, and when that didn't work, it took another six months for me to admit to myself that I didn't believe.

I finally got over the fear of hell when I realized that I never feared all the hells (or other narratives) of the other religions, so why should Christianity be any different? I understand it's difficult to let something that was so important for so long go, but it can be done over time. It takes a shift in thinking and how you perceive the world, but it can be done.

I'm sorry to hear how bad things were for you growing up and in your marriage. I hope things get better during your current transition.
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29-10-2013, 03:09 PM
RE: Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
@LostandInsecure

I notice that you are less and less lost and insecure each day.
Keep up the good work.

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
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29-10-2013, 03:37 PM
RE: Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
(29-10-2013 03:09 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  @LostandInsecure

I notice that you are less and less lost and insecure each day.
Keep up the good work.

I really feel like I am encouraged to be myself here. I think I'll stay hehe, and I'm really hoping that it will spread to my real life eventually. Thanks Smile
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30-10-2013, 11:34 AM
RE: Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
Gut-wrenching story and I am so sorry you had to live that life. Compassion and love are in direct contrast to violence and fear. No matter what he thinks, your ex was not a good person, not caring, and most importantly not a real man.

When you have the guilt, fear, and doubts, just remeber what religious scriptures and leaders have to say about power, submission, and absolute fear. Hope you are on your way to a happy ending, and let your life and thoughs be in your own hands. Show your kids that the world is wonderous and full of knowledge. It is not to be feared or misunderstood as there is too much information out there to abide by barbaric old laws and traditions.

Best wishes!

There can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven. - Robert Green Ingersoll
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30-10-2013, 06:01 PM
RE: Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
What a heart wrenching story. I'm so sorry you went through that.

I can't really add anything to accepting atheism or agnosticism any further than what has been said.

I can speak to the ramifications of the self internalization of the abuse. How many prepositions can I put in one sentence? Sheesh. Anyway. You were taught to internalize your abuse as something wrong with you. This will take years to get over.

Perhaps part of your struggle with atheism is your sense of self is disrupted now that you are no longer Christian? You identified with Christian, identified with worshipping god, and carried the symbol around with you with pride. A god fearing woman. A good Christian. That was who you were. And now, the sadness about leaving that religion, even though you have outgrown it, can be bittersweet and downright sad.

The fear about going to hell is irrational. Much like a my fear of spiders. It is completely unnecessary to climb the walls just because a daddy long legs is across the room. You weren't afraid of getting a lightning bolt shoved up your ass from Zeus, were you? Or pissing off Set, king of the underworld? It wouldn't matter which number you bet, because you put all your chips on black, and it came up red.

I hope you find community here. Some of us are assholes, but most of us are nice. Take what you want and leave the rest. :-) but welcome!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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30-10-2013, 07:01 PM
RE: Just like my name says I am lost and insecure
Everyone here has been so kind to me. I really appreciate all the support and advice.

I have laughed, in bitterness and agony of heart, at the contrast between what I seem and what I am!
Nathaniel Hawthorne
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