Just really?
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02-02-2014, 10:28 PM
Just really?
So I totally think men and women can be just friends. When I offer somebody genuine friendship I think it's small and shallow of you to turn up your nose because I've decided you're not my type sexually. A man is not entitled to my body just because they're "nice". Just ugh! I'm so sick of this attitude from a portion of the male population.





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03-02-2014, 04:08 AM (This post was last modified: 03-02-2014 04:15 AM by earmuffs.)
RE: Just really?
And I'm sick of females putting their expectations on males.
At least you know exactly what he's feeling. He wants to put his kettle in your tea cosy.
And if you're not into that than at least he has the decency to walk away.

Seriously I don't know what you're complaining about. If you go out with a guy he went out with you because he wants to fuck you.
That's why he asked you out, because you're physically attractive.
If he's not gonna get some from you than he's gonna cut his loses and find someone that will put out.
If you want to "friendzone" him but he's not interested in being friends it's not because he's a jerk, it's because you're not interesting enough to him to make him want to be your friend. It's not on him at all.
It's the same with a relationship. If all he wants to do is fuck but you want to have a "relationship" then you're not being interesting enough that you make him want more then just a fuck buddy. And if you're looking for something more then just a fuck buddy and he has no interest in being friendzone then you're just not compatible, it's better for both people to just cut their loses and fuck off and find someone who is better suited to their desires.

People don't date because they're looking for more friends. People date because they're either looking for a fuck buddy or they're looking for a relationship.


tl;dr He's not a jerk for not wanting to be "friendzoned", it's just you're not interesting enough he wants to be "friendzoned".

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03-02-2014, 04:56 AM
RE: Just really?
I'm purely friends with some females I know, but I also cannot deny my biology.

Take my friend Heather, for instance. We've known each other since we were in kindergarten. She's married to an awesome guy and she and I have never pursued any sort of sexual relationship. We've never even flirted. I hang out with her in the same way that I hang out with my male friends. When I look at her, I don't immediately see someone I want to fuck; I see someone who's always been a great friend and who's always been there when I needed support.

At the same time, when she stayed over one night a year or two ago, we found ourselves alone in my bedroom and the sexual tension was palpable. Nothing happened, ultimately, but she eyeballed me and I eyeballed her. Then we ended up in the same bed together. The next day, I asked - purely out of curiosity - if she thought about fucking me the night before. Without the slightest moment of hesitation, she said "Yes."

Men and women can be friends. It really can happen. It happens all the time. But even so, we can't deny our biology. I don't care how platonic the relationship is; when two heterosexual individuals of the opposite sex find themselves in certain situations, they are helpless to ignore their primal urges. She's got a great body. She sees that I've got a great body. I'm comfortable with her. She's comfortable with me. She was single. I was single. Her vagina is warm and enjoys hard penises. My penis can be hard and enjoys warm vaginas. Our bodies know the other person is a viable mate and we can't help but think about fucking them. This doesn't mean either of us expects it to happen and it doesn't mean we'll be legitimately disappointed if/when it doesn't. It simply means that we're human beings capable of perceiving that there are viable mates within our midst.

Logically, I don't care when a woman puts me in the "friend zone". If she doesn't want to fuck me, that's fine. In many cases, I don't necessarily want to fuck her, either. No advancements are made by either party. But that doesn't mean the primal part of me isn't aware that they're attractive and could give me an orgasm, and if said orgasm is ultimately denied, it doesn't mean the primal part of me won't have a sad-face and kick a rock before it moves on to other things.

You must remember that no one is purely rational, and some people may be more controlled by their primal urges than by reason. Thus, if you deny them sexual access, there's gonna be a part of them that gets pissy because they didn't get their dick wet. Maybe one day, our species will be able to overcome this. But at present, they can't help it.

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03-02-2014, 05:13 AM
RE: Just really?
After sex, I decide whether I like her enough to pay attention to her.

For her, she wants to like me before a little kettle / tea cosy action (thanks for that one Muffsy) takes place.

How to transcend this dilemma?

I let her feel the weight of my wallet.

Sex for security; security for sex... that's the deal. Always has been, always will be.

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03-02-2014, 06:16 AM
RE: Just really?
This is the way I see it. People don't date to find friends. At our age most people already have their group of close friends. If someone does want to be your friend the will approach you in a friendly way. They will try to become your friend and it will be obvious that all they want from you is friendship. If someone is dating you, then they don't want to be your friend. They either want to have sex with you or they want to be your boyfriend. At whatever point you make it obvious that it is not going to happen, then they move on to someone new. Can you imagine if a guy collected up every date that didnt want something more as a friend? He would never find a girlfriend because he would have way to many female "friends".

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03-02-2014, 06:47 AM
RE: Just really?
I think that the term "friend" gets used to often in to loose of a context. I have many acquaintances, both male and female , but just 2-3 close friends (all male).

I'm not one to have a female friend, since it provides no advantage to do so.

I cant believe I agree with Muffs on what he wrote here. Blink

If I were single again, the only relationship I would have with a women, is a sexual one. And I would most certainly make it clear from the start, and wouldnt even want one to stay around very long at that.

Sorry ladies, but it seems every woman I've ever known throughout my life, has had to play some mind game. I think they all eventually become psychotic. Consider

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03-02-2014, 07:08 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 06:47 AM)War Horse Wrote:  I think that the term "friend" gets used to often in to loose of a context. I have many acquaintances, both male and female , but just 2-3 close friends (all male).

I'm not one to have a female friend, since it provides no advantage to do so.

I cant believe I agree with Muffs on what he wrote here. Blink

If I were single again, the only relationship I would have with a women, is a sexual one. And I would most certainly make it clear from the start, and wouldnt even want one to stay around very long at that.

Sorry ladies, but it seems every woman I've ever known throughout my life, has had to play some mind game. I think they all eventually become psychotic. Consider

Flame suit on.... Dodgy

That last part sounds like a personal issue lol! But seriously, I don't know that I would want a straight man as a close friend either, all my guy friends are gay. If you're straight and awesome enough to be my real friend then I am likely to want something more.

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Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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03-02-2014, 07:13 AM
RE: Just really?
Have you guys thought that, just maybe, you don't only meet people through dating? I have a male friend whom I met through my ex boyfriend, we used to go out both while I was dating my ex and after that.

One day he got a girlfriend and the contact between us was less, so I thought he didn't really want to be friends after all. However, he did contact me later all apologizing that he was away, asking when we can meet. He hasn't broken up with his girlfriend and they're going great. He was just very busy, as people usually are in the beginning of every relationship.

Now, I have a couple of male friends and maybe dozens of male acquaintances with whom I go out sometimes. Are you guys implying that, given the right circumstances, I would fuck all of them? How about no?

You guys talking about "urges" and "biology" and stuff, don't you have any really ugly female friends? Why don't you want to fuck them?

I know I would have saved a lot of time if those acquaintances or friends that were interested in me were more clear about it. "Wanna go for a coffee?" Sure, because that's what I do with my friends. If you want to fuck me, say you want to fuck me, duh.

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03-02-2014, 07:18 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 07:13 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Have you guys thought that, just maybe, you don't only meet people through dating?
...

Who was talking about dating? I wasn't.

Never tried it.

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03-02-2014, 07:24 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 07:13 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Have you guys thought that, just maybe, you don't only meet people through dating? I have a male friend whom I met through my ex boyfriend, we used to go out both while I was dating my ex and after that.

One day he got a girlfriend and the contact between us was less, so I thought he didn't really want to be friends after all. However, he did contact me later all apologizing that he was away, asking when we can meet. He hasn't broken up with his girlfriend and they're going great. He was just very busy, as people usually are in the beginning of every relationship.

Now, I have a couple of male friends and maybe dozens of male acquaintances with whom I go out sometimes. Are you guys implying that, given the right circumstances, I would fuck all of them? How about no?

You guys talking about "urges" and "biology" and stuff, don't you have any really ugly female friends? Why don't you want to fuck them?

I know I would have saved a lot of time if those acquaintances or friends that were interested in me were more clear about it. "Wanna go for a coffee?" Sure, because that's what I do with my friends. If you want to fuck me, say you want to fuck me, duh.

I believe that was my whole point. If someone wants to be your friend then they will be your friend. If they want to date they don't want to be your friend. I don't see the problem with it.

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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