Just really?
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03-02-2014, 07:25 AM
RE: Just really?
(02-02-2014 10:28 PM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  So I totally think men and women can be just friends. When I offer somebody genuine friendship I think it's small and shallow of you to turn up your nose because I've decided you're not my type sexually. A man is not entitled to my body just because they're "nice". Just ugh! I'm so sick of this attitude from a portion of the male population.

Muffs and L&I have said most of what needs to be said.

Reading your post is like reading the post of an extraterrestrial alien that has "snatched" a human body and is in control of it but doesn't know what to do with it and doesn't understand what genitals are for. How is it that you are so naive and rancorous?

I doubt there's a (sane) man that thinks he's "entitled" to your body merely because they're being "nice". The portion of the male population that you are "sick" of obviously believes they are dating you. If this is a recurring pattern in your life then clearly you are dating but don't realize it, i.e. the problem is yours and not theirs. As L&I correctly pointed out most adults are not looking for new friends and even fewer are looking for new friends of the opposite sex.

You appear comfortable posting that these men are not your "type sexually" but you are ignoring the flip-side of that coin: you are not those men's type platonically, they don't want you as a friend for whatever reason they may have. Why is it "small and shallow" of those men to reject you as a friend but it is perfectly fine for you to reject them sexually? Surely they are entitled to choose just as you are.

There is a victim and entitlement narrative in most of your posts. You post one grievance after another and they are all--without exception--someone else's fault.
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03-02-2014, 07:26 AM
RE: Just really?
Hmmm Consider I thought "dating" was, "Hey babe, wanna go for a ride?" Cool
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03-02-2014, 07:32 AM (This post was last modified: 03-02-2014 07:46 AM by Chippy.)
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 07:13 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Now, I have a couple of male friends and maybe dozens of male acquaintances with whom I go out sometimes. Are you guys implying that, given the right circumstances, I would fuck all of them? How about no?

That is a very egocentric way of looking at the situation. Do you imagine that they too see the situation as you do? If they are not gay--given the right circumstances--they would fuck you. Why do you think you have so many male acquaintances? It is self-flattery and vanity to imagine that it is because you have such a great personality. However great your personality is, most (heterosexual) men do not want female friends and acquaintances--they want sexual partners.
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03-02-2014, 07:52 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 07:32 AM)Chippy Wrote:  
(03-02-2014 07:13 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Now, I have a couple of male friends and maybe dozens of male acquaintances with whom I go out sometimes. Are you guys implying that, given the right circumstances, I would fuck all of them? How about no?

That is a very egocentric way of looking at the situation. Do you imagine that they too see the situation as you do? If they are not gay--given the right circumstances--they would fuck you. Why do you think you have so many male acquaintances? It is self-flattery and vanity to imagine that it is because you have such a great personality. However great your personality is, most (heterosexual) men do not want female friends and acquaintances--they want sexual partners.

So women can see men as friends but men can't?

I have this friend whom I used to be in love with. He used to be in love with me too. We never started anything, because we were always in relationships with other people. Then a time came when we both were not in any relationship. I didn't hit on him and he didn't hit on me. We both actually expressed that we don't feel like that anymore and that we were not interested in anything further. I love him and he loves me, but we don't really want to have sex. How about that?

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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03-02-2014, 08:09 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 07:52 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  So women can see men as friends but men can't?

Yes, that is a brute fact of biology. Men evolved to fuck as many women as they can. A man doesn't become sterile and impotent once he has impregnated one woman--men did not evolve to be monogamous or to have Platonic relationships with women. If there were a reproductive advantage to male monogamy and the impregnation of only one woman then men would have evolved a cyclical fertility (like many other animals). Men are able to ejaculate much more often than is needed to impregnate the one woman and that ability has a metabolic cost--hence it evolved for a good reason.

Quote:I have this friend whom I used to be in love with. He used to be in love with me too. We never started anything, because we were always in relationships with other people. Then a time came when we both were not in any relationship. I didn't hit on him and he didn't hit on me. We both actually expressed that we don't feel like that anymore and that we were not interested in anything further. I love him and he loves me, but we don't really want to have sex. How about that?

There are always exceptions to common patterns. Neither of us know what was going on in your friends mind.
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03-02-2014, 08:19 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 08:09 AM)Chippy Wrote:  
(03-02-2014 07:52 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  So women can see men as friends but men can't?

Yes, that is a brute fact of biology. Men evolved to fuck as many women as they can. A man doesn't become sterile and impotent once he has impregnated one woman--men did not evolve to be monogamous or to have Platonic relationships with women. If there were a reproductive advantage to male monogamy and the impregnation of only one woman then men would have evolved a cyclical fertility (like many other animals). Men are able to ejaculate much more often than is needed to impregnate the one woman and that ability has a metabolic cost--hence it evolved for a good reason.

Bullshit. Men do not just respond based on their biology. They have evolved brains. Some men are capable of being friends with the opposite sex and not seeking sex from them. Sure, they may think sexual thoughts but have the will power to not speak or act on those thoughts because they respect and recognize the value of the friendship.

Friends can basically fill.the role of family. Brothers and sisters can maintain a friendship without sexual thoughts. If your friends take on the role of family in your life, it's pretty easy to understand why you don't want to pursue a sexual encounter.

Blink
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. -George S. Patton
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03-02-2014, 08:22 AM
RE: Just really?
Also I should just now assume my husband wants to screw his female friends? I am not unrealistic to think sexual thoughts like this don't cross his mind, but he has a brain and will power that influence his actions.

Blink
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. -George S. Patton
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03-02-2014, 08:33 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 08:19 AM)aquaquilter Wrote:  Bullshit. Men do not just respond based on their biology. They have evolved brains.

All mammals have "evolved brains". "Evolved" doesn't mean superior or advanced. Do you understand evolution by natural selection?

Men do "just respond based on their biology" as do woman and all other animals. Culture--specifically the institution of monogamous marriage--contains male sexuality, most of the time. Many marriages end as a result of infidelity. Married men comprise a large part of the market for (legal) brothels and escorts and they are large consumers of pornography.
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03-02-2014, 08:36 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 08:22 AM)aquaquilter Wrote:  Also I should just now assume my husband wants to screw his female friends? I am not unrealistic to think sexual thoughts like this don't cross his mind, but he has a brain and will power that influence his actions.

Yes you should assume that your husband wants to screw his female friends and many of the women that he sees.

One of the functions of culture is to restrain the baser aspects of our biology. Monogamous marriage is one such aspect of culture, that is why it exists.
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03-02-2014, 08:42 AM
RE: Just really?
(03-02-2014 08:19 AM)aquaquilter Wrote:  Brothers and sisters can maintain a friendship without sexual thoughts.

Yes and that is because we have evolved an incest avoidance "module"--which works for most people, but not all of them. See here.
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