Just really?
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04-02-2014, 02:34 AM
RE: Just really?
Getting back to the original post which addresses the friendzone, I must say that I consider the concept to be idiotic bullshit.

*ducks fruit*

Lemme explain, please: I've never heard a well-adjusted adult man complain about "being friendzoned." Seriously, not once. It is exclusively a dilemma of awkward hormonal boys who are pissed off that they can't get a girlfriend/laid. (I feel cheap and unoriginal by stealing this from the internet, but it REALLY DOES seem like some guys think after they insert enough 'kindness coins' into a female slot machine, they will eventually be rewarded with a sex jackpot.) It's *so* horribly arrogant and unrealistic. A healthy relationship (or even just a friends-with-benefits scenario) has to be agreed upon by all people involved. Otherwise it's slavery or blackmail or....I don't even know what. If you complain that someone you like has friendzoned you, you are essentially saying that *you* should have control over what that person does with their own body, and usually also their true feelings. That's just creepy, no matter what gender you are.

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04-02-2014, 08:20 AM
RE: Just really?
(04-02-2014 02:34 AM)Cephalotus Wrote:  Getting back to the original post which addresses the friendzone, I must say that I consider the concept to be idiotic bullshit.

*ducks fruit*

Lemme explain, please: I've never heard a well-adjusted adult man complain about "being friendzoned." Seriously, not once. It is exclusively a dilemma of awkward hormonal boys who are pissed off that they can't get a girlfriend/laid.

Your personal experiences are fortunate, but not indicative of the greater whole. For starters, you're a woman and the guys I know don't talk to women about being friendzoned. They talk to their guy friends who will commiserate.

Second, your definition of "well-adjusted" could be wildly different than the rest of the world. Using a qualifier like that literally has no meaning in the grand scheme of things.

Quote: (I feel cheap and unoriginal by stealing this from the internet, but it REALLY DOES seem like some guys think after they insert enough 'kindness coins' into a female slot machine, they will eventually be rewarded with a sex jackpot.)

I simply can't fathom the self delusion necessary to believe this.

Quote: It's *so* horribly arrogant and unrealistic.

You're right, it is horribly arrogant and unrealistic to believe this. A man MAY be being nice to you in order to get into your pants, but that in no way shape or form means that he feels entitled to a "sex jackpot". If he is rebuked or turned down firmly enough, he'll move on. If he doesn't remain friends with you, it just means he wasn't looking for friends.

Quote: A healthy relationship (or even just a friends-with-benefits scenario) has to be agreed upon by all people involved. Otherwise it's slavery or blackmail or....I don't even know what.

This is obvious, and irrelevant to the topic at hand. No one is advocating for a forced relationship, quite the opposite actually. If it's a bad situation and the two people involved are looking for different things, you go your separate ways. I would find it very difficult to believe that anyone here would think otherwise.

Quote: If you complain that someone you like has friendzoned you, you are essentially saying that *you* should have control over what that person does with their own body, and usually also their true feelings. That's just creepy, no matter what gender you are.

No, complaining that you got friendzoned is simply complaining that the woman involved doesn't want anything more than a platonic relationship when you would like more. It is simply a method of coping with rejection. Does the guy think that he and the woman would be a good couple, yes. Does the guy not understand why the woman doesn't see him as mate material, yes. Does the guy knock the woman over the head and drag her back to his cave, no. We've (mostly) moved on as a species.



Look, everyone hates rejection. Nobody likes hearing "No, I don't like you like that". It's rough. Even the most gentle let down is still going to sting, so don't be surprised when guys say things that may be hurtful. Did that guy you reject call you a bitch? That was probably uncalled for, but he's just venting. He'll get over you soon enough, don't worry. You're not that attractive.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

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04-02-2014, 11:26 AM
RE: Just really?
(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Your personal experiences are fortunate, but not indicative of the greater whole. For starters, you're a woman and the guys I know don't talk to women about being friendzoned. They talk to their guy friends who will commiserate.

Well, the guys I know *do* complain/talk about things like this with their female friends. I assumed they did this to incite a sympathetic response.

I'm going to be polite and not mention that you took the time to type out a sentence about how my personal experiences are not indicative of a greater whole, and then, the *very next* sentence, you *literally* lead with a personal example....that is not indicative of the greater whole. Thumbsup When a group of people are talking about subjects that revolve around romance and relationships, each individual's personal experiences are the only resource pool they have to draw on.

(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Second, your definition of "well-adjusted" could be wildly different than the rest of the world. Using a qualifier like that literally has no meaning in the grand scheme of things.

The phrase "well-adjusted" exists. The word "normal" and "usual" are English words that exist, and have entries in the dictionary. That means they are concepts which are understood to have roughly the same meaning from one English speaking person to another. Are...are you even being serious right now?


(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  You're right, it is horribly arrogant and unrealistic to believe this. A man MAY be being nice to you in order to get into your pants, but that in no way shape or form means that he feels entitled to a "sex jackpot".

You know how every single man feels about this sort of thing?

You need to get off the internet and get your ass down to your local police station! There are hundreds of crimes you could help solve with your psychic abilities!


(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  No one is advocating for a forced relationship, quite the opposite actually. If it's a bad situation and the two people involved are looking for different things, you go your separate ways. I would find it very difficult to believe that anyone here would think otherwise.

Not once did I say anyone here was advocating this. I said anyone who thinks "the friendzone" even exists, thinks this.

It's pretty safe to assume that anyone who would try to force a relationship (or sexually assault, or anything else fucked up) onto another person is not a healthy, well adjusted adult. But apparently you think it's open for debate, and you're acting like someone dealing with rejection in a normal manner is the same as friendzoning. This thread isn't about romantic rejection--it is specifically about the types of people who complain of friendzoning.

(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  He'll get over you soon enough, don't worry. You're not that attractive
Bitch, I'm fabulous. <3

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04-02-2014, 11:38 AM
RE: Just really?
Can I propose a new forum rule? If you make a thread, you should be obligated to return to it and participate - more than once - in a conversation you started.


BrokenQuill - I'm growing really tiresome of you starting threads which usually have an accusatory tone of some sort wherein you assume a victim role. Whether it's that you are discriminated against because of your blindness, or that you have trouble communicating with the deaf community, or that you should be able to be friends with a dude without an underlying sexual current. (It doesn't matter what he wants, btw, since it's all about you.)

I hate to sound like a bitch in this scenario but you repeatedly start somewhat heated discussions and then fail to participate in them in any meaningful way. Its one step away from Trolling and it makes me suspicious of anything you write. Which is a shame, since I'm sure you can actually contribute in a meaningful way.

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04-02-2014, 11:47 AM
RE: Just really?
Who was that lady that got all pissed off because some guy asked her to come back to her room. It was at a free thought convention I think.
I'm not sure what my point is but there is a point there somewhere.
Something about the battle of the sexes or lack of understanding of human biology or some shit like that....
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04-02-2014, 11:54 AM
RE: Just really?
(04-02-2014 11:47 AM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  Who was that lady that got all pissed off because some guy asked her to come back to her room. It was at a free thought convention I think.
I'm not sure what my point is but there is a point there somewhere.
Something about the battle of the sexes or lack of understanding of human biology or some shit like that....

Are you talking about the Michael Shermer rubbish? PZ Myers and his gang of militant femenists went a bit bonkers on him last year.

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04-02-2014, 12:03 PM
RE: Just really?
The op's possible quirks aside....was I the *only* person who watched the video in the first post?

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04-02-2014, 12:04 PM
RE: Just really?
(04-02-2014 11:54 AM)Monster_Riffs Wrote:  
(04-02-2014 11:47 AM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  Who was that lady that got all pissed off because some guy asked her to come back to her room. It was at a free thought convention I think.
I'm not sure what my point is but there is a point there somewhere.
Something about the battle of the sexes or lack of understanding of human biology or some shit like that....

Are you talking about the Michael Shermer rubbish? PZ Myers and his gang of militant femenists went a bit bonkers on him last year.
I honestly don't remember who was involved but I do remember PZ Myers being up in arms about it.
A lot of people seemed upset. I just don't get it.
If I remember correctly Dawkins made a big joke about it. I think there was an internet battle between Dillahunty(sp?) and Thunderfoot over the whole thing.
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04-02-2014, 12:10 PM
RE: Just really?
(04-02-2014 11:26 AM)Cephalotus Wrote:  
(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Your personal experiences are fortunate, but not indicative of the greater whole. For starters, you're a woman and the guys I know don't talk to women about being friendzoned. They talk to their guy friends who will commiserate.

Well, the guys I know *do* complain/talk about things like this with their female friends. I assumed they did this to incite a sympathetic response.

I'm going to be polite and not mention that you took the time to type out a sentence about how my personal experiences are not indicative of a greater whole, and then, the *very next* sentence, you *literally* lead with a personal example....that is not indicative of the greater whole. Thumbsup When a group of people are talking about subjects that revolve around romance and relationships, each individual's personal experiences are the only resource pool they have to draw on.

I pointed out my personal experience to illustrate that there are differing viewpoints to this. Not that I was the ONLY viewpoint. You seem to have missed the part where I specifically stated that it was true of the guys I know.

Quote:
(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Second, your definition of "well-adjusted" could be wildly different than the rest of the world. Using a qualifier like that literally has no meaning in the grand scheme of things.

The phrase "well-adjusted" exists. The word "normal" and "usual" are English words that exist, and have entries in the dictionary. That means they are concepts which are understood to have roughly the same meaning from one English speaking person to another. Are...are you even being serious right now?

Yes, I'm being serious. I've met several people who have different opinions on what "well adjusted" means. I'm well aware that the phrase itself exists, I used it. However, it does not have a fast and hard definition. It's a subjective assessment of another persons mental well being. Not a measurable scientific fact.

Quote:
(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  You're right, it is horribly arrogant and unrealistic to believe this. A man MAY be being nice to you in order to get into your pants, but that in no way shape or form means that he feels entitled to a "sex jackpot".

You know how every single man feels about this sort of thing?

I missed the part where I claimed to know the mind of every single man. Hence, the usage of the word "may".

The rest is non-sequitur. Obtaining a "sex jackpot" does not logically follow "being nice"

Quote:You need to get off the internet and get your ass down to your local police station! There are hundreds of crimes you could help solve with your psychic abilities!

I'm psychic? I shoulda seen that coming.

Quote:
(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  No one is advocating for a forced relationship, quite the opposite actually. If it's a bad situation and the two people involved are looking for different things, you go your separate ways. I would find it very difficult to believe that anyone here would think otherwise.

Not once did I say anyone here was advocating this. I said anyone who thinks "the friendzone" even exists, thinks this.

Well, seeing as the bulk majority of the posters here think the friendzone exists, it follows that you would think that the bulk majority of posters here think this. Try to stay logically consistent.

You deny that the friendzone exists? Are you now saying that guys who have been relegated to platonic relationships are figments of our imagination?

Quote:It's pretty safe to assume that anyone who would try to force a relationship (or sexually assault, or anything else fucked up) onto another person is not a healthy, well adjusted adult.

I think we can agree on that definition of well adjusted.

Quote: But apparently you think it's open for debate, and you're acting like someone dealing with rejection in a normal manner is the same as friendzoning. This thread isn't about romantic rejection--it is specifically about the types of people who complain of friendzoning.

I think that's up for debate? Did you read what I posted? I specifically said that those types of relationships are to be avoided. Go re-read the part that says "If it's a bad situation and the two people involved are looking for different things, you go your separate ways."

Quote:

(04-02-2014 08:20 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  He'll get over you soon enough, don't worry. You're not that attractive
Bitch, I'm fabulous. <3
[/quote]

Glad you have a good sense of self worth, just don't let it get overblown.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

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04-02-2014, 12:26 PM
RE: Just really?
(04-02-2014 12:04 PM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  
(04-02-2014 11:54 AM)Monster_Riffs Wrote:  Are you talking about the Michael Shermer rubbish? PZ Myers and his gang of militant femenists went a bit bonkers on him last year.
I honestly don't remember who was involved but I do remember PZ Myers being up in arms about it.
A lot of people seemed upset. I just don't get it.
If I remember correctly Dawkins made a big joke about it. I think there was an internet battle between Dillahunty(sp?) and Thunderfoot over the whole thing.

I don't know about Dillahunty but I know thunderf00t and myers exchanged a few words on youtube. ... I might check it out later to jog the memory Thumbsup

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