Kids and gender identity
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09-10-2014, 05:25 PM (This post was last modified: 09-10-2014 05:31 PM by Smercury44.)
Kids and gender identity
So a relative posted on Facebook that her 12 year old daughter got home from a sleep over at a friends house, and one of the guests was a genetically male boy of the same age who identifies as female.

She was pretty upset that no one had told her before the sleep over occurred that this child would be sleeping over. She asked for advice on how others would feel, and how they would react.

Every single comment said that they would be very upset if they'd not been notified prior, a few stated that the child shouldn't have been allowed in the first place, and one wonderful woman ( Dodgy ) even commented that there was no way she'd want her child to be "a guinea pig in that experiment".

I was mildly surprised to see that one commenter pointed out that no matter how uncomfortable it made any of the parents, the child has it a lot harder trying to fit in, and be accepted.

The mother's main concern was that kids "experiment" at that age, and she would have been very upset the child had tried anything with her daughter.

My thinking is, experimenting can happen just as easily with the other girls, so what's the harm? Also, if you're worried that your child might start experimenting, now is a great time to talk to your child about sex, the importance of condoms to prevent STDS, and birth control.

what are your thoughts on this touchy subject? I'm not a parent, so maybe I just don't get it. Should parents be made aware that a physically male child who identifies as a girl will be at a girl's slumber party? Should they be allowed to attend such a party?

Edit: want to add, I see this issue coming up in the news as well. Kids wanting to use the bathroom they feel comfortable in at school, etc. feel free to share your thoughts on this as well.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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09-10-2014, 05:38 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
I honestly don't see that it's any of their business. She identifies as a girl? Then by all rights she's a girl. The sleepover was supervised wasn't it?

Would this have been as big a deal if all of the genders were reversed I wonder? Consider

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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09-10-2014, 05:46 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 05:38 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  I honestly don't see that it's any of their business. She identifies as a girl? Then by all rights she's a girl. The sleepover was supervised wasn't it?

Would this have been as big a deal if all of the genders were reversed I wonder? Consider

Probably not. A girl who identifies as a boy can't get other boys at the party pregnant.

I'm on your side, it really should be a non-issue, she identifies as a girl, so she's a girl.

I'm really torn on the prior notification part. Part of me feels parents should have been given a heads up, but I can't come up with a good reason why, so my thinking may be flawed there. Maybe so that the parents have a teaching opportunity with their kids about people who are different? But for some reason the only outcome I picture is discrimination, and girls not being allowed to go.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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09-10-2014, 06:16 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 05:46 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  But for some reason the only outcome I picture is discrimination, and girls not being allowed to go.

Same here. There is absolutely nothing malicious about her, and nothing wrong with her going to her friends' party. The girls obviously were okay with her being there. So what's the problem?

The only problem is the lack of empathy and education of the parents. I suppose I can understand them wanting to be informed, but I only see that causing more harm than good in this situation.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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09-10-2014, 06:29 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 06:16 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 05:46 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  But for some reason the only outcome I picture is discrimination, and girls not being allowed to go.

Same here. There is absolutely nothing malicious about her, and nothing wrong with her going to her friends' party. The girls obviously were okay with her being there. So what's the problem?

The only problem is the lack of empathy and education of the parents. I suppose I can understand them wanting to be informed, but I only see that causing more harm than good in this situation.

Nobody has to be informed about anybody's past gender identity unless the trans person decides to tell. Do the parents really think this 12 year old is "pretending" to be a girl for malicious reasons? That's fucking stupid.

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09-10-2014, 06:33 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 06:29 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  Nobody has to be informed about anybody's past gender identity unless the trans person decides to tell. Do the parents really think this 12 year old is "pretending" to be a girl for malicious reasons? That's fucking stupid.

I don't think they'd think it's intentionally malicious, but you know how fear of the unknown distorts one's thinking.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

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09-10-2014, 06:38 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
I mean, would they have the same fear if a self-identified gay boy were invited to the sleepover?
"Oh no! He wants to paint his nails, too! DANGER!"

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09-10-2014, 06:40 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
This really pisses me off. If a boy identifies as a girl, so be it let 'em be a girl (and vise versa.)

I can't handle how ignorant and oblivious some people can be. The world, social norms and society as a whole are rapidly and constantly changing. Get the fuck over it. Learn to accept people for who they are and what they want to be. Don't be that dick head that's the cause of someone's uncomfortability. As we say often here, "Don't be a dick."
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09-10-2014, 06:43 PM (This post was last modified: 09-10-2014 06:49 PM by Smercury44.)
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 06:38 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I mean, would they have the same fear if a self-identified gay boy were invited to the sleepover?
"Oh no! He wants to paint his nails, too! DANGER!"

I'd bet the reaction would still be the same, since the reaction comes from ignorance. My sister's best friend is VERY gay, no sleep overs were allowed

Edit: I just realized how silly my parents decision on that matter actually was. I always knew it was silly, but just realized. She spent SO much time at his house, but always had to come home at some arbitrary time instead of being allowed to stay over. If something was going to happen between those two, what difference would not allowing her to sleep over have made? Consider

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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09-10-2014, 06:48 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 06:43 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 06:38 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I mean, would they have the same fear if a self-identified gay boy were invited to the sleepover?
"Oh no! He wants to paint his nails, too! DANGER!"

I'd bet the reaction would still be the same, since the reaction comes from ignorance. My sister's best friend is VERY gay, no sleep overs were allowed

Yeah.. I know people who would probably object.
But I just
I just don't get it No

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