Kids and gender identity
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10-10-2014, 08:05 AM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(09-10-2014 09:07 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 09:04 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I long for the day, when no one worries about ''notifications'', and when people can be true to themselves without angst. That is equality. Or will be.

Honestly? I long for the day when gender is as mundane of a descriptor as hair color.

I'm hair colour fluid.

Big Grin

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10-10-2014, 12:24 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-10-2014 08:05 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 09:07 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Honestly? I long for the day when gender is as mundane of a descriptor as hair color.

I'm hair colour fluid.

Big Grin

What if hair in different places is different colours?

Consider

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10-10-2014, 12:27 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-10-2014 12:24 PM)cjlr Wrote:  
(10-10-2014 08:05 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I'm hair colour fluid.

Big Grin

What if hair in different places is different colours?

Consider

Well we would need some video evidence to make a detrimination in that case. Drinking Beverage

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10-10-2014, 07:45 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-10-2014 12:24 PM)cjlr Wrote:  
(10-10-2014 08:05 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I'm hair colour fluid.

Big Grin

What if hair in different places is different colours?

Consider

Poly-hue-orous!

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13-10-2014, 07:27 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
Some of you probably know that my daughter is transgender. She came out when she was 18 so I never dealt with this issue when she was at the sleepover age.. She basically suffered in silence for all those years. If only I'd known earlier I could have saved her from so much pain.

Anyway, I have to say I'm amazed and proud to be among such wonderful people as TTA members. You guys are fantastic people. I wish everyone was like you. This just made my day.

Thanks.

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20-10-2014, 08:27 AM
RE: Kids and gender identity
If I would have been the host parent I would have wanted to know ahead of time. Not so I could have excluded the kid, but so I could make what ever provisions I would have felt was necessary. Kind of like if they were allergic to peanut butter or dairy. Honestly, I have no idea what I would have done specifically, but the kid would have been welcome.
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10-11-2014, 07:38 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
I'm transgender, male to female, and I'd like to chime in on this based on personal experience. To start, it's entirely possible and fairly common for some children to have gender dysphoria (born in the wrong body feeling). I myself strongly felt this around six or seven and it never got better until I started transitioning.

And to call it a "strong feeling" is putting it mildly. It's an overwhelming sense of something being horribly wrong and feeling anxious all day every day. It's seeing the person in the mirror and reacting in horror because that's not you. It's when you dream and you feel whole and complete as one gender, then waking up as the opposite gender feeling broken and fragmented.

That kid has wonderful parents for letting her transition and express her gender. Suppressing it should be classified as a new form of hell.

Quote:I was mildly surprised to see that one commenter pointed out that no matter how uncomfortable it made any of the parents, the child has it a lot harder trying to fit in, and be accepted.
This. This this this! That commenter hit the nail on the head. It's really hard for children with gender dysphoria to fit in. It's even harder to hide it and pretend to be fine when they're not.

Quote:Every single comment said that they would be very upset if they'd not been notified prior, a few stated that the child shouldn't have been allowed in the first place
I don't agree with this fear, but I understand where it's coming from. Education about trans people isn't widely known and even less understood. A lot of people think it's a new thing, but it's not new. It's just new to the limelight.

Quote:The mother's main concern was that kids "experiment" at that age, and she would have been very upset the child had tried anything with her daughter.
This is a common fear from those who don't understand transgender issues. It certainly doesn't help when conservative media deliberately spreads disinformation and fear around the issue. It's unlikely the kid is "experimenting" with the other kids and/or her daughter. I don't want to rule it out because kids when they get to that age get to "experimenting" in some ways or others.

But for all further considerations, the kid in question is a girl.

Quote: Should parents be made aware that a physically male child who identifies as a girl will be at a girl's slumber party?
I would cautiously say yes but I'm hesitant to do so. Parents want to know, but it increases the risk to the kid in question.

Quote:Should they be allowed to attend such a party?
I would say yes if one or more friends are aware of her situation. Surprises are a bitch, especially one like this.

Quote:now is a great time to talk to your child about sex, the importance of condoms to prevent STDS, and birth control.
You know? There's actually very little sex education when it comes to trans children. What do you teach a child who identifies as one gender yet still retains physical body parts of another?

As to the bathroom issue, well....

[Image: bathroom.jpg]

It's so true. It's why using the appropriate bathroom of the gender you identify with is so very important.

That should be about it for now. It's a complicated issue with many facets to it. If you have any further questions, I'll be happy to answer. I'm pretty open about these sorts of things.
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10-11-2014, 07:47 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
Thanks for sharing Jojo!

Re your sexual education musings. I don't think there's really anything wrong with teaching all kids about both sides of the sexual equation. Giving basic facts about how both the male and female genitalia work only makes sense to me, but I take an extremely liberal stance on sex ed. I think that would rule out conflict on what to tell transgender kids. What do you think?

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10-11-2014, 08:59 PM (This post was last modified: 10-11-2014 09:17 PM by jojorumbles.)
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 07:47 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Thanks for sharing Jojo!

Re your sexual education musings. I don't think there's really anything wrong with teaching all kids about both sides of the sexual equation. Giving basic facts about how both the male and female genitalia work only makes sense to me, but I take an extremely liberal stance on sex ed. I think that would rule out conflict on what to tell transgender kids. What do you think?

Well, you'd have to tell a trans girl that she can't have a baby which is heartbreaking. With my birds and bees speech, I was told I would never be a mother in any way, shape, or kind.

You'd also have to tell a trans boy that the genital surgery is mediocre at best, often disappointing. Doctors will tell you it's easier to dig a hole than to build a pole, in regards to sex reassignment surgery.

There's also the conflict of having mismatched genitals/body parts. This is something I struggle with as I'm pre op and cannot yet afford the big surgery. Issues specific to men and issues specific to women, medically is what I have to deal with and my insurance simply won't cover. I need a prostate and breast exam, plus I get PMS symptoms regularly.

My sex ed from school was abstinence only. From my parents it was strictly man and woman after marriage. No discussion of STDs, contraception, or anything of the sort.

Trans people face unique issues with sex. I personally don't like touching my "thing" down there, so the only sex I have is oral and anal. Mom discussed man and woman, but never mentioned man/man or woman/woman and variations thereof. I think it would be difficult to cover all instances and situations.
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10-11-2014, 09:23 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
Blink...I'm sorry, is sex between 12 year olds so common that it needs to be worried about?

I mean, I've only been to like two sleepovers in my life, but during both of them none of us really got that close to each other. Not because we knew our parts wouldn't interlock, because we just didn't really feel a need to.

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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