Kids and gender identity
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10-11-2014, 09:31 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 09:23 PM)CleverUsername Wrote:  Blink...I'm sorry, is sex between 12 year olds so common that it needs to be worried about?

I mean, I've only been to like two sleepovers in my life, but during both of them none of us really got that close to each other. Not because we knew our parts wouldn't interlock, because we just didn't really feel a need to.

I don't know, I was only 14 when I had sex for the first time, and at around 12 I can tell you I was interested to know what this sex thing was all about. In fact I think at 12 I was already sneaking peeks at the adult channels.

Plus puberty is hitting kids earlier and earlier, which means the urges are starting earlier as well. I wouldn't say at 12 parents should assume their kids aren't interested. I think age appropriate conversations about sex should start as early as possible. I'd rather kids be more informed when they need the info, than playing catch up after making bad decisions.

Like I said though my stance on sex Ed is very liberal.

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10-11-2014, 10:11 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 09:31 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(10-11-2014 09:23 PM)CleverUsername Wrote:  Blink...I'm sorry, is sex between 12 year olds so common that it needs to be worried about?

I mean, I've only been to like two sleepovers in my life, but during both of them none of us really got that close to each other. Not because we knew our parts wouldn't interlock, because we just didn't really feel a need to.

I don't know, I was only 14 when I had sex for the first time, and at around 12 I can tell you I was interested to know what this sex thing was all about. In fact I think at 12 I was already sneaking peeks at the adult channels.

Plus puberty is hitting kids earlier and earlier, which means the urges are starting earlier as well. I wouldn't say at 12 parents should assume their kids aren't interested. I think age appropriate conversations about sex should start as early as possible. I'd rather kids be more informed when they need the info, than playing catch up after making bad decisions.

Like I said though my stance on sex Ed is very liberal.

Ohmy

suddenly I am thrilled that my 11 year old is just at the giggly, "OMG he smiled at me" stage.

anyone got a paper bag I can breathe into for a bit?


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10-11-2014, 10:13 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 08:59 PM)jojorumbles Wrote:  
(10-11-2014 07:47 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Thanks for sharing Jojo!

Re your sexual education musings. I don't think there's really anything wrong with teaching all kids about both sides of the sexual equation. Giving basic facts about how both the male and female genitalia work only makes sense to me, but I take an extremely liberal stance on sex ed. I think that would rule out conflict on what to tell transgender kids. What do you think?

Well, you'd have to tell a trans girl that she can't have a baby which is heartbreaking. With my birds and bees speech, I was told I would never be a mother in any way, shape, or kind.

You'd also have to tell a trans boy that the genital surgery is mediocre at best, often disappointing. Doctors will tell you it's easier to dig a hole than to build a pole, in regards to sex reassignment surgery.

There's also the conflict of having mismatched genitals/body parts. This is something I struggle with as I'm pre op and cannot yet afford the big surgery. Issues specific to men and issues specific to women, medically is what I have to deal with and my insurance simply won't cover. I need a prostate and breast exam, plus I get PMS symptoms regularly.

My sex ed from school was abstinence only. From my parents it was strictly man and woman after marriage. No discussion of STDs, contraception, or anything of the sort.

Trans people face unique issues with sex. I personally don't like touching my "thing" down there, so the only sex I have is oral and anal. Mom discussed man and woman, but never mentioned man/man or woman/woman and variations thereof. I think it would be difficult to cover all instances and situations.

I'm so glad you chimed in Jojo. If you don't mind, may I ask how old you are and how did you tell your parents or did they suspect you might be transgender already? Is your family accepting of you? I'm sorry if I'm taking this thread in a slightly different direction. My transgender daughter told me when she was 18 after years of suffering and deep depressions.

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10-11-2014, 10:42 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
Boys should realize they are boys, girls should realize they are girls, and no one should have sex in their adolescent ages.
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10-11-2014, 10:49 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 10:42 PM)Nintentacle Wrote:  Boys should realize they are boys, girls should realize they are girls, and no one should have sex in their adolescent ages.

While we're at it, I should fart rainbows. People should always be nice to each other too. Also, could water just be like... A little less wet? What's up with that?? Pesky reality always getting in the way.




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10-11-2014, 10:59 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
I don't see the problem with one calling them selves female or not, I think whether or not you accept gender as a choice or not you should still call that person a female if they want to be called that, it is out of respect.

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10-11-2014, 11:45 PM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 10:42 PM)Nintentacle Wrote:  Boys should realize they are boys, girls should realize they are girls, and no one should have sex in their adolescent ages.

I'm lesbian with a mild bisexual tendency. I've always been a tomboy. Never could stand dolls, and a couple of them met totally absurd fates before I'd reached age 6.

I'd rather wander the concrete aisles of a big-box hardware store and go "Ooh! Ahh!" at a particularly good-looking cabinet saw, or go to the gym and work on My bench press and barbell squat, than put on makeup and a dress and go to an *ack!* bridal shower or something equally odious. In fact, if you were to attempt to force Me to wear high-heeled shoes, there's a better-than-average chance that at least one shoe would need to be surgically extracted from your rectum.

None of that ever stopped Me from realizing that yes, I am a girl. I have an adult daughter, so obviously My internal conception engine was once functional. I was 17 when I first had sex, and 28 when My daughter was born. I've been in a long-term heterosexual relationship, a long-term lesbian relationship, and even went to an orgy once.

And *you*, sir or madam, simply do not get a say in the matter. As Popeye would say, "I yam what I yam."
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11-11-2014, 12:39 AM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 11:45 PM)Astreja Wrote:  
(10-11-2014 10:42 PM)Nintentacle Wrote:  Boys should realize they are boys, girls should realize they are girls, and no one should have sex in their adolescent ages.

I'm lesbian with a mild bisexual tendency. I've always been a tomboy. Never could stand dolls, and a couple of them met totally absurd fates before I'd reached age 6.

I'd rather wander the concrete aisles of a big-box hardware store and go "Ooh! Ahh!" at a particularly good-looking cabinet saw, or go to the gym and work on My bench press and barbell squat, than put on makeup and a dress and go to an *ack!* bridal shower or something equally odious. In fact, if you were to attempt to force Me to wear high-heeled shoes, there's a better-than-average chance that at least one shoe would need to be surgically extracted from your rectum.

None of that ever stopped Me from realizing that yes, I am a girl. I have an adult daughter, so obviously My internal conception engine was once functional. I was 17 when I first had sex, and 28 when My daughter was born. I've been in a long-term heterosexual relationship, a long-term lesbian relationship, and even went to an orgy once.

And *you*, sir or madam, simply do not get a say in the matter. As Popeye would say, "I yam what I yam."

I was a bit of a tomboy, myself. My parents had to start sending me to school with shorts under my dresses for the playground.

My dolls met some interesting fates, as well. I didn't play with baby dolls after age three - just barbies - all though my Cabbage Patch doll got in an accident and I wrote Xs all over her face from the booboos she suffered. I gave them up by age 6, other than ones that stayed in the box for collectors purposes. My parents wouldn't have had to be so horrified by me stripping them down and having naked cave parties or headless parties if they'd just let me have teenage mutant ninja turtles and color changing hot wheels like I'd asked. You'd think they would have been more upset at me dissecting frogs to see what their insides were made of. The toys for boys were soooo much cooler in the 80s/90s - if much rather be shooting need guns, buildings rockets, or blowing shit up than playing mommy. The little army men were ALL OVER my house and my grandmother'a house. Although my Barbie Corvette was fucking awesome - I drove it all over the farm.

Hmm. And I'm bisexual - but I definitely identify as female.

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11-11-2014, 03:07 AM
RE: Kids and gender identity
(10-11-2014 10:42 PM)Nintentacle Wrote:  Boys should realize they are boys, girls should realize they are girls

... and twats should realise they are twats.
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11-11-2014, 09:04 AM (This post was last modified: 11-11-2014 09:10 AM by jojorumbles.)
RE: Kids and gender identity
dancefortwo Wrote:I'm so glad you chimed in Jojo. If you don't mind, may I ask how old you are and how did you tell your parents or did they suspect you might be transgender already? Is your family accepting of you? I'm sorry if I'm taking this thread in a slightly different direction. My transgender daughter told me when she was 18 after years of suffering and deep depressions.
Sure, no problem. I'm 32 right now and I didn't actually start transitioning until aonth after my 31st birthday. I'm still going through the process as it takes several years. I'd estimate to be about 70% of the way there, but friends would argue with me that I'm already there.

I knew I was in the wrong body since I was around six or seven and it just tore me up inside. This was back when I was still heavily religious and involved in the Mormon Church. The church frowned on that sort of thing and I was instructed to pray it away. That I had a mental illness that only prayer and belief in god would fix. And I tried, holy hell did I try but nothing worked.

Suppression caused severe depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts. My first attempt was when I was nine I think. Leaped off of the school roof I climbed up to. It was only two stories and I landed on grass, but I was out cold for quite a while. I woke up and I was still lying there at night. Nobody came and nobody cared.

I lived like that, suppressing, denial, depression, and suicidal thoughts for years after. The only thing I knew about transgender people is what I saw on jerry springer and similar shows. They were always portrayed negatively and I was adamant that's not me.

It wasn't until I met trans people in person that my mind changed. An acquaintance told me she was trans and I had no clue beforehand. Thats when I learned the stereotypes on TV were incorrect exaggerations. That's when I started looking into it seriously, started transitioning, and my quality of life improved dramatically.

As for my parents, I know they suspected something, but they didn't know for sure. They thought I might be gay and trying to hide it. I tried dating women and it was just awful. I don't mean the women were awful, they were nice and I feel bad for tricking them, but I mean I had this overwhelming sense of wrongness when I was doing what a straight male is supposed to do.

So I rarely dated, I lived alone, and I had no friends or social life. I had no ambition to becomeore than a grocery bagger. I slept all the time on my free time and did the bare minimum to continue living with a roof over my head. I didn't care about life or living anymore. Just going through the motions was enough.

I distanced myself fromy family as they were still deeply involved in the Mormon church. It wasn't until my late twenties when I discovered most of my family walked away from the church. My mom and one sister are still involved, but my dad and the rest of my siblings aren't members anymore.

I wrote them an email about finally coming to grips with being trans and starting the process. My mom actually took it very well. It turns out one of the neighbor kids near their home is also trans. Meeting and talking with her and her parents really opened myoms eyes to the seriousness of the issue. She still isn't calling me by my new name, but I feel she's trying in her own way. She still has a lot of religious baggage to sort out though.

As for Nintentacles response to boys being boys and girls being girls, I'm not mad at him. This sounds like a teaching opportunity. Not all boys are really boys and not all girls are really girls. Gender isn't binary, there's a massive spectrum of variances in between. The acronym LGBT is actually a shortened version of LGBTQQIAA+ because not everyone falls neatly into limited categories.
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