Killing
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03-01-2014, 03:04 AM
Killing
I feel like killing my school teachers.

School is starting on Monday and while I'm kinda excited, I also have lots of anger directed at some teachers, who have hurt me and don't even know it.

Oddly enough, I don't have any desire to kill the students who bully me, as they might not know better and may still be struggling with family or other issues.

But I feel that some teachers abuse their authority and are total douche bags who have no reason to do what they do. I have social phobia and teachers sorta pick on me for being so quiet. Other teachers such as the head of discipline claim to have a serious stance against misbehaviour, but I feel bitter at them taking really long to respond to punish the bullies.

I keep playing out the plunging of the knife into their flesh in my mind and burning the room so no one will find the body.

I guess it's been hard since as a christian, I could believe that it was all god's will, but know it just looks like shitty people I have no choice but to put up with.

Anyone can help me think positively and all that?

Music is my religion
- Jimi Hendrix
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03-01-2014, 03:16 AM
RE: Killing
Killing another human...

They were kids once. Had to sit through school. Grew up. Found out that life is hard... But they're still someone's kid, someone's parent. Hurt and violence begets hurt and violence. Don't choose that life for yourself, is my advice.

Suggest talk to someone (parent / friend / teacher that you trust) about the bullying and what you can do about it, and even about the feeling of being picked on by the teachers and how that makes you angry.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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03-01-2014, 03:18 AM (This post was last modified: 03-01-2014 03:22 AM by LadyJane.)
RE: Killing
To be honest, what you are saying is very worrisome. It is horrible that you feel this way, and bullying is not okay. The fact you are playing out in your mind a revenge tactic like this is not a good sign of your mental health, it shows your struggle and your pain very much. It sounds like you have already tried to talk to someone in the school about it- have you tried talking again to your head of discipline (is this a principle, or a counsellor?) to say that you feel your matter is being neglected? Have you tried a family member whom knows and cares for you?

There would be a hefty consequence if you took negative actions despite there being no God. Doing these things you imagine doesn't take away what has been done, it only would make things worse.

There are still many steps to take to have a better life for yourself. When you have these thoughts I suggest stopping, taking a breath and visualizing a better life you can create for yourself beyond school, because school is not forever. I also think you need someone in your life to help and that if a person like this doesn't exist then you could work at finding someone.

*hugs* sorry you are feeling the anguish you do.
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03-01-2014, 03:26 AM
RE: Killing
I don't know how old you are, but I'm pretty sure you're old enough to understand that this is horrible idea and you shouldn't go through with it.

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03-01-2014, 03:32 AM
RE: Killing
Hey, bro. I used to have thoughts like that too.

So rest assured that you are not the only psychopath on the forum.

Mind over matter... repeat... mind over matter. Chanel the rage into artistic expression... paint, poetry, music.

Use the feelings. Learn from them.

Thumbsup

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03-01-2014, 06:23 AM
RE: Killing
You have been feeling the anger. It keeps telling you: Change it, do something different.

Maybe you can stop waiting for the school teachers to punish the bullies and being that quiet that long, tell them you feel bitter about their slow action and keep urging them. You can also tell your parents and let the adults push the presure.

Maybe you can do some more, or much more sports. Get stronger, master some martial arts skills, fight back, beat them.

Maybe you can get more resourceful. Quietly gather those who also have been bullied by them, form a group and retaliate when they bully again.

Look, there is such a signal, and you heard it, loud and clearly. If you desire something good, then you are going to take actions to make it happen.

Want something? Then do something.
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03-01-2014, 06:40 AM (This post was last modified: 03-01-2014 06:53 AM by yakherder.)
RE: Killing
There are always going to be people out there trying to control your actions. It's just part of liVing in this world and a part of life you must learn to deal with rationally. I'm not going to say you're wrong for having those thoughts. I'll bet more people do than are willing to admit. The trick is to figure out what your goals are and take those people into account in your plan to achieve those goals.

Killing them is not rational because it inevitably gets you killed or lands you in jail. Whatever powerlessness you're feeling right now is not going to disappear. Jail is much worse than your teachers, and getting yourself killed trying to enact some sort of misguided vengeance will not change the nature of the world. You go down not as a victim who finally snapped, but as just another nut who lost it and killed innocent people.

These people are nothing in the grand scheme of things. Don't let them break you. Prove them wrong through success. That is the best revenge, and the one you can enjoy. And for what it's worth, those bullies and teachers are merely acting out their own feelings of inadequacy or lack of control over their lives when they do things like bully or exert their control over others. They're just as much victims of this world as you or anyone else.

That said, if it's the thrill of the hunt you seek rather than simply getting back at a few people whom you believe wronged you, Uncle Sam has alternative routes for that. But from what I can see, that doesn't seem to be the case Smile

'Murican Canadian
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04-01-2014, 10:05 PM
RE: Killing
(03-01-2014 03:04 AM)guitarist Wrote:  I feel like killing my school teachers.

School is starting on Monday and while I'm kinda excited, I also have lots of anger directed at some teachers, who have hurt me and don't even know it.

Oddly enough, I don't have any desire to kill the students who bully me, as they might not know better and may still be struggling with family or other issues.

But I feel that some teachers abuse their authority and are total douche bags who have no reason to do what they do. I have social phobia and teachers sorta pick on me for being so quiet. Other teachers such as the head of discipline claim to have a serious stance against misbehaviour, but I feel bitter at them taking really long to respond to punish the bullies.

I keep playing out the plunging of the knife into their flesh in my mind and burning the room so no one will find the body.

I guess it's been hard since as a christian, I could believe that it was all god's will, but know it just looks like shitty people I have no choice but to put up with.

Anyone can help me think positively and all that?
The above comments are good. I also had feelings of extreme rage at some people I went to school with - everyone does at times. However, if those feelings begin to interfere with day to day life, I would suggest talking to a professional about it.

Remember that if you killed them, you would ruin your life as well; and it ain't worth it.
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