LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
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13-06-2017, 05:03 PM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
Sorry I haven't really put any work into the doc yet.
Kinda opened up in my therapy about being trans and about how I feel trapped in my situation etc. This week I won't have therapy. I have been back in depression for a while now and it's not pretty, can tell you that. Even some low level suicidal thoughts came back. Not big, not urgent or anything. But it is not a good sign and definitely means I am slipping.
Not sure what I can do...

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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14-06-2017, 07:41 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
(13-06-2017 05:03 PM)Leerob Wrote:  Sorry I haven't really put any work into the doc yet.
Kinda opened up in my therapy about being trans and about how I feel trapped in my situation etc. This week I won't have therapy. I have been back in depression for a while now and it's not pretty, can tell you that. Even some low level suicidal thoughts came back. Not big, not urgent or anything. But it is not a good sign and definitely means I am slipping.
Not sure what I can do...

Are you taking anti-depressant medication? If not, check into it with your doc. Or it might be time to try another. Sometimes it can take a while to find one that works.

Please fight those suicidal thoughts. People want YOU in their lives. Fights any thoughts that tell you otherwise.
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14-06-2017, 08:29 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
(13-06-2017 05:03 PM)Leerob Wrote:  Sorry I haven't really put any work into the doc yet.
Kinda opened up in my therapy about being trans and about how I feel trapped in my situation etc. This week I won't have therapy. I have been back in depression for a while now and it's not pretty, can tell you that. Even some low level suicidal thoughts came back. Not big, not urgent or anything. But it is not a good sign and definitely means I am slipping.
Not sure what I can do...

Hug I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I think Emma offered some good advice. I wish you peace from all of this. You deserve to be here and be happy.
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14-06-2017, 08:35 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
Thanks for the kind words.
I am not immediate endangered at the time. I just see it is coming back.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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29-06-2017, 03:22 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
so in good news:
The company I work for is very open and active on equal rights and acceptance etc. They have now decided to make the bathroom a non-issue. They will be adding signs on to our bathroom doors that say something like "as identified" or something like that in order to open bathroom doors to all transgender people.
We also had an event recently that focussed on educating employees about what "transgender is" it was a one hour session with Q&A in the end.

I am really very lucky to work in this place. So although I don't want to come out at work, I am very happy about how things are going here and about the fact that my workplace doesn't just say they are open and inclusive but actually acting upon it.

Also I promise promise promise, that this weekend I will finally start filling that ressource sheet from the OP. I am very sorry that I have slacked behind so much but had too much going on in my mind. I know these ressources are important though, and I want to work it out. I am happy if anybody wants to help out with it or has some ressources they want added.
Emma already has editing rights I think.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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29-06-2017, 03:24 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
I'm a bit late but I'd like to say I like you Leerob, I think you're cool and I want only the best for you.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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29-06-2017, 08:48 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
(29-06-2017 03:22 AM)Leerob Wrote:  so in good news:
The company I work for is very open and active on equal rights and acceptance etc. They have now decided to make the bathroom a non-issue. They will be adding signs on to our bathroom doors that say something like "as identified" or something like that in order to open bathroom doors to all transgender people.
We also had an event recently that focussed on educating employees about what "transgender is" it was a one hour session with Q&A in the end.

I am really very lucky to work in this place. So although I don't want to come out at work, I am very happy about how things are going here and about the fact that my workplace doesn't just say they are open and inclusive but actually acting upon it.

Also I promise promise promise, that this weekend I will finally start filling that ressource sheet from the OP. I am very sorry that I have slacked behind so much but had too much going on in my mind. I know these ressources are important though, and I want to work it out. I am happy if anybody wants to help out with it or has some ressources they want added.
Emma already has editing rights I think.

I need to get myself back on there and adding resources, too. Oops
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29-06-2017, 10:02 AM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
@JesseB: Thank you.

Note to self: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOmstbKVebM
Note to self: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW8Plf_IXGs

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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08-07-2017, 02:43 PM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
Started filling up the Suicide lines tab in the Helplines document. Just because I feel that is the most important of all. Once I am done with that one, I will start looking for dedicated LGBT lines.
Also started to put some youtube things on the Social Media document.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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08-07-2017, 10:03 PM
RE: LGBT+ leaving religion & general support
I am a 60 year old gay man legally married to my partner of 18 years. I came out of the closet at 42. Before that I lived a straight religious married (to a woman) white picket fence life.

But I knew I was "different" from most boys since my youngest days and that I was attracted physically and emotionally to my own gender since I was at least 12.

Yet, I was raised in a conservative Baptist home and was, myself, a devout "born again" Christian.

I dealt with my gay attraction by keeping it a deep dark secret, but I developed a clinical deep self hatred.

After being married to my wife for 17 years, I met a wonderful gay man, who, like me was married with children, and we left our wives and moved in together.

My partner/husband has worked hard to help me deal with my deep self hatred by truly loving me unconditionally.

When I first came out, I became a public gay activist. I even led a public protest for marriage equality and was interviewed on local TV. I also became a liberal political activist.

Yet, 18 years later, I still have a deep abiding self hatred. Despite western society's softening of negative opinions of LGBT, the more strident anti-LGBT are coming out of the woodwork and being more blunt in their hatred of us. That affects me and reinforces my deep self hatred.

I am currently seeing a gay psychologist and trying to work through this self hatred.

But to compound the issue, I finally left Christianity 15 years ago and my agnosticism has evolved into atheism. Yet, faith in God gave me positive emotional reassurances, especially regarding death and loss.

Yes, it was a paradox. Religion both engendered self hatred and emotional comfort.

I am quite bright and always have been. Still I was able to compartmentalize God in one box (and the illogic of that belief) and the real world as it is.

But my journey into rationality has progressed so far, I cannot conceive me returning to believing in God (maybe on my death bed).

I know I need to keep trying to reinforce in my mind that I am mostly a good person with value and not consider my sexual orientation as a defect. In fact, my coming out has engendered in me a deeper appreciation and compassion for those traveling the LGBT road.

But is it very hard. I cannot totally shake that self hatred monster.
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