Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
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05-10-2013, 11:10 PM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2013 09:38 AM by kingschosen.)
Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
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I made the following r/atheism post about a friend of mine. He was killed last night by a drunk driver.
http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments...nk_driver/

If you don't want to read it on reddit, you can read below.

Last night, one of my friends was killed by a drunk driver. He leaves behind a 31 year old wife and two young children.
Coverage of the accident by Philly's Fox affiliate
Local newspaper article


I was never truly close with Ian (the deceased husband and father) and Brianna (the widow and mother of two), but I certainly consider them friends. I've known Brianna since 7th or 8th grade, and Ian since 9th. Although we never became close growing up, they've both always struck me as genuinely good people. In recent years by the powers of facebook, I've come to know Brianna and Ian better than I would have ever had a chance to otherwise. For that, I am grateful to Mark Zuckerberg, which is a dubious feeling.

Ian is a good-hearted person who constantly seeks truth. These are two qualities sorely lacking in the world today. Though we differ in spiritual beliefs, I admire an atheist's pursuit of truth. This quality makes you more valuable to the planet than the vast majority of people who subscribe to organized religion. Unfortunately, the admirable qualities that make a person unique, such as commitment to truth, can sometimes serve to isolate them in relation to those who are more religious and traditional. Many of us, including agnostics and people with non-traditional spiritual beliefs, lack the community support provided by belonging to a church or local organization.

Atheists commonly claim that religion does more harm than good. That the world would be better off without organized religion. I tend to go back and forth on this issue, but my question is: What happens when tragedy strikes a young family lacking the support enjoyed by churchgoers? Even a dead-inside, lip service Christian still reaps the benefits of community support when their husband is run down by a drunk driver. Why should atheists have to lack what borderline useless humans enjoy?

Pic of Ian with his two kids, Addison and Gage:
[Image: IanAndKids.jpg]
Pic Ian and his wife, Brianna:
[Image: IanAndBri.jpg]
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09-10-2013, 08:17 AM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Most of the dead inside, God Box goers are just there for the snacks.

Seriously. You are correct.

Atheists do NOT enjoy that support--that community--but the stigma to let go of the group is so huge for most folks...the attachment mechanism which makes us cling to Retail Religion in the first place neeeeds that group.

So if you don't mind waking up early on yet another day of the week, showering and talking to yourself in a big cavernous room for two hours a week, then paying 10% of your income to keep the AC and lights on in said building for the other six days....you too can enjoy the nonsensical consolation of " Ian is in a better place." when your loved one dies. No thanks.

Not at ALL to diminish your pain----but I do not see death--accidental or lingering decay (cancer) as some big tragedy. It is science. AND I HAVE MADE ALL WHO LOVE ME UNDERSTAND THAT I FEEL THIS WAY. (Small--pre-rational children are this exception, which DOES add the true word "tragic" to your particular circumstance, indeed.). You begin dying the moment that you live, so the irritating death rationale deployed at Christian funerals is worse than solitary grief for most atheists, I would expect.

For the rest of it....and PLEASE....I mean no disrespect AT ALL....there is insurance. I am certainly worth more dead than alive, and I will not leave my loved ones financially stranded. This is called a PLAN. I have sacrificed things in order to provide this safety net. Everyone should have one, and not rely on the charity with strings that comes from death cults who take more than they will ever give back to a TRULY free thinking family.

And the anger I feel at the loss in your case is at the drunk driver, because his actions have deprived two precious children of their father. And no amount of pot luck ham, useless prayer or insurance money can replace that for them.

As a military wife who saw far too many friends with orphaned children (for equally ridiculous reasons) I TRULY grieve your loss with you.
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09-10-2013, 08:30 AM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
(05-10-2013 11:10 PM)dankoni Wrote:  Why should atheists have to lack what borderline useless humans enjoy?

Sorry Dankoni, if you didn't lose me at the solicitation for money, you certainly lost me at that statement.

Sorry for the tragic loss of your friend. I hope you are able to lend some comfort to his family. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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09-10-2013, 10:30 AM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Why would you not get community support if your an atheist ? no offence but the deceased was the Atheist so they require zero support after passing, are you saying the wife is also an Atheist or she has been snubbed because she was married to one. ?

Funerals, wakes, family friends are not dependent on belief, I probably misread the OP, but people who don't help people because of their religion /lack of would not be welcome.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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09-10-2013, 10:41 AM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
The Utilitarian justification of religion is no justification.
Good because it *can* be useful.
Slippery slope, that.

Very sorry for your loss.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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09-10-2013, 10:49 AM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Goodness! Just sending hugs.

Sorry for your loss and the loss that family will continue to feel.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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09-10-2013, 04:35 PM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Stay strong, brother!
Man, those kids must be devestated. He looks like a pretty solid dad.
Speaking of Reddit, if I had some change to spare I'd help with some /r/randomactsofpizza

Aspiring optimist
Eternal Pragmatist.
With the uncanny ability to see all sides in every argument.
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09-10-2013, 04:48 PM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Sorry for the loss, what a tragic story.

This:

(09-10-2013 10:30 AM)sporehux Wrote:  Why would you not get community support if your an atheist ? no offence but the deceased was the Atheist so they require zero support after passing, are you saying the wife is also an Atheist or she has been snubbed because she was married to one. ?

Funerals, wakes, family friends are not dependent on belief, I probably misread the OP, but people who don't help people because of their religion /lack of would not be welcome.

I have been through a few atheist death and funerals. Church commities and communities were not needed and there was no void to fill. I personally have strong friend and family support without religion.
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09-10-2013, 04:53 PM
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Sorry for your loss man, stay strong.
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10-10-2013, 05:10 AM (This post was last modified: 10-10-2013 05:13 AM by Juv.)
RE: Last night, my friend was killed by a drunk driver. He was an atheist.
Sorry to hear of your loss. Atheists can deal with loss as well as anyone, though.

In my experience, non theists can still easily find contentment in friends and family coming together to remember a loved one. As a personal anecdote, a childhood friend of mine died not long ago from a drug O.D. The family had a fairly traditional catholic funeral - but the non theists, and theists were able to have a memorable time together without any tension. Just having known the guy was enough justification for everyone being there. Us non believers there were totally comfortable with our lack of "religious community".

Support does not need any religious motivation at all - just ordinary social motivation.
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