Leave a message.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
13-03-2017, 08:31 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(13-03-2017 07:34 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(13-03-2017 12:16 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Hey, I'm feeling not-terribly-important-to-you right now, but I don't want to be selfish and say it because I know that you're busy with lots of things. My insecurities, however, seem to be warming up for the big concert.

My instincts were correct. I should never have said a word to you about these feelings.

No, I didn't (and don't) have specific instances I can cite for you; I only have an overall vibe, how you talk to me. And apparently my mentioning this is "too much pressure", even as I tell you explicitly that this is probably just my own fucking insecurities talking.

Back into the shell I'll go. I'm sure you'll find someone who isn't so goddamned needy.

Hug
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like adey67's post
13-03-2017, 11:51 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(13-03-2017 07:34 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(13-03-2017 12:16 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Hey, I'm feeling not-terribly-important-to-you right now, but I don't want to be selfish and say it because I know that you're busy with lots of things. My insecurities, however, seem to be warming up for the big concert.

My instincts were correct. I should never have said a word to you about these feelings.

No, I didn't (and don't) have specific instances I can cite for you; I only have an overall vibe, how you talk to me. And apparently my mentioning this is "too much pressure", even as I tell you explicitly that this is probably just my own fucking insecurities talking.

Back into the shell I'll go. I'm sure you'll find someone who isn't so goddamned needy.

Undecided Sorry Thump. Life is rough sometimes...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like morondog's post
14-03-2017, 11:56 AM
RE: Leave a message.
(13-03-2017 07:34 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  My instincts were correct. I should never have said a word to you about these feelings.

If there's one thing I've learned in my 58 years on this planet, it's this:

One never got in trouble by keeping their mouth shut.

It may sound counter-intuitive, but this whole "expressing feelings" bit often causes more trouble than it solves.

Stay strong, my friend. You'll get through this.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Heath_Tierney's post
14-03-2017, 12:07 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 11:56 AM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  
(13-03-2017 07:34 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  My instincts were correct. I should never have said a word to you about these feelings.

If there's one thing I've learned in my 58 years on this planet, it's this:

One never got in trouble by keeping their mouth shut.

It may sound counter-intuitive, but this whole "expressing feelings" bit often causes more trouble than it solves.

Stay strong, my friend. You'll get through this.

I respectfully disagree Wink I think it's good to get things that are bothering you out--otherwise, it can lead to resentment. So I think you did right, Thump, by telling her how you feel. I'm sorry things are rocky now.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jennybee's post
14-03-2017, 01:16 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 12:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I respectfully disagree Wink I think it's good to get things that are bothering you out--otherwise, it can lead to resentment. So I think you did right, Thump, by telling her how you feel. I'm sorry things are rocky now.

Respectfully, perhaps this is one of the fundamental differences (among other things) between men and women.

I have simply seen it happen, too many times, both to me personally and those men that I know well, when they open up to their partners and express feelings of, say, inadequacy or insecurity, it always comes back to bite them.

Always.

In my experience, there have been no exceptions. None.

I grant it may be different when a woman does that with a man, for a man's instinct is to protect. But - again, this is just my experience - when a man expresses "weakness" it generally isn't an attractive quality to his partner.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Heath_Tierney's post
14-03-2017, 01:20 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 01:16 PM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  
(14-03-2017 12:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I respectfully disagree Wink I think it's good to get things that are bothering you out--otherwise, it can lead to resentment. So I think you did right, Thump, by telling her how you feel. I'm sorry things are rocky now.

Respectfully, perhaps this is one of the fundamental differences (among other things) between men and women.

I have simply seen it happen, too many times, both to me personally and those men that I know well, when they open up to their partners and express feelings of, say, inadequacy or insecurity, it always comes back to bite them.

Always.

In my experience, there have been no exceptions. None.

I grant it may be different when a woman does that with a man, for a man's instinct is to protect. But - again, this is just my experience - when a man expresses "weakness" it generally isn't an attractive quality to his partner.

Really? I like it when a guy tells me how he feels. I'm typically attracted to very masculine guys, so when they tell me how they feel, it's kind of a turn on Wink
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like jennybee's post
14-03-2017, 01:39 PM (This post was last modified: 14-03-2017 01:43 PM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 12:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(14-03-2017 11:56 AM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  If there's one thing I've learned in my 58 years on this planet, it's this:

One never got in trouble by keeping their mouth shut.

It may sound counter-intuitive, but this whole "expressing feelings" bit often causes more trouble than it solves.

Stay strong, my friend. You'll get through this.

I respectfully disagree Wink I think it's good to get things that are bothering you out--otherwise, it can lead to resentment. So I think you did right, Thump, by telling her how you feel. I'm sorry things are rocky now.

I tend to fall into the "speak your heart" side of things on these matters. The problem is that sometimes emotions are vague. She got upset with me for reporting vague emotions that to her seemed without supporting evidence.

We're working on things and I hope it all works out. Thanks for the kind words, y'all.

(14-03-2017 01:16 PM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  I have simply seen it happen, too many times, both to me personally and those men that I know well, when they open up to their partners and express feelings of, say, inadequacy or insecurity, it always comes back to bite them.

[...]But - again, this is just my experience - when a man expresses "weakness" it generally isn't an attractive quality to his partner.

This is exactly my case, and pretty much the result. This issue we've been having will probably result in my being more circumspect with her, and finding some other outlet for these feelings that she clearly isn't interested in.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-03-2017, 01:41 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 01:16 PM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  Respectfully, perhaps this is one of the fundamental differences (among other things) between men and women.

When men open up and express their feelings, they often express anger. Anger is hardly ever helpful.

That's why men don't express their feelings so much.

Angry
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Thoreauvian's post
14-03-2017, 01:56 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 01:41 PM)Jay Vogelsong Wrote:  
(14-03-2017 01:16 PM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  Respectfully, perhaps this is one of the fundamental differences (among other things) between men and women.

When men open up and express their feelings, they often express anger. Anger is hardly ever helpful.

That's why men don't express their feelings so much.

Angry

But, vot are you sinking about?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-03-2017, 06:15 PM
RE: Leave a message.
(14-03-2017 01:20 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(14-03-2017 01:16 PM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  Respectfully, perhaps this is one of the fundamental differences (among other things) between men and women.

I have simply seen it happen, too many times, both to me personally and those men that I know well, when they open up to their partners and express feelings of, say, inadequacy or insecurity, it always comes back to bite them.

Always.

In my experience, there have been no exceptions. None.

I grant it may be different when a woman does that with a man, for a man's instinct is to protect. But - again, this is just my experience - when a man expresses "weakness" it generally isn't an attractive quality to his partner.

Really? I like it when a guy tells me how he feels. I'm typically attracted to very masculine guys, so when they tell me how they feel, it's kind of a turn on Wink

Oh you would so hate me, I'm the gayest straight guy I know but then its hard to be a nurse and not in tune with your feminine side, you can't wash patients like you wash cars.Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: