Leaving and grieving (sorry, long)
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18-02-2015, 08:36 PM
RE: Leaving and grieving (sorry, long)
Herd~

Hey. Have you listened to the amazing Christopher Hitchens lecture or debate? You must. You want comfort? Listen to him. He makes it all clear and I have yet to find ONE theist who could discount his logic. Also, the wonderful Stephen Fry and Sam Harris. Just find them on YouTube. Listen and listen again. And again. I listen to them all day long. LOVE their logic even IF it means there's nothing after death. I'm ok with that.

The concept of a human sacrifice never set well with me. WHY would an omniscient god resort to something so primitive? Why? Because religion is MAN MADE. And it SHOWS. (As CH says.)

Welcome to the club. Pull up a chair. You're in good company.

Tallulah
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19-02-2015, 12:13 PM
RE: Leaving and grieving (sorry, long)
I second what Talluah said but I will also add Dan Barker, Mike Aus, Jerry Dewitt, and of course Seth Andrews. I find Hitchens very fun to watch but it can also be painful if on the receiving end if you're not ready. No disrespect to Hitch but these guys were honest, true believers at one point and they don't quite throw the vinegar like Hitchens but still get the point across.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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19-02-2015, 12:56 PM
RE: Leaving and grieving (sorry, long)
Andy,

I have been involved in a very similar process; raised fundamentalist pentacostal, always involved with music in each church I've attended (even presently) and now at a place where I'm pretty sure my feet are swinging over the fence to the side of agnosticism but not able to really tell anyone. Although I may not have any concrete advice for you, I can say this: It has helped me to unload in this forum. There are a lot of understanding people here. Having a community of people who have been through what we are going through is key to a successful departure and recovery from religion. Christians don't own "community". They may have a developed a fantastic way of using it to "help" people but it certainly isn't germane to them.

Oh and by the way....love your analogy at the end, I think I'll use that to help myself! "if God isn't real, that relationship I was having was just with me, and I'm still here, so that relationship isn't really ending at all."
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19-02-2015, 02:16 PM
RE: Leaving and grieving (sorry, long)
Recognize it is a loss, and loss is dealt with by grief, and the stages of grief are..

1) Shock and denial. As you heard your inner voice say ...this is BS..and you fought that with complete denial, making excuses, trying to convince yourself that it just had to be true...

2) Pain and guilt. You feel guilty for not believing, the stronger your faith was, the stronger the pain.

3) Anger. The anger sets in, this IS all BS, they lied to me...I have wasted so much life on this lie..

4) Depression, reflection, loneliness. The loss of your faith sets in...you feel empty, alone.....this is the stage most falter on...and some return, just for the community, the feeling of belonging, not wanting to be "one of them"..you used to shake your head at atheists...now you may be one..

5) Acceptance. The upward turn. As you adjusted to life without your faith, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized, your thoughts clearer... Your pain lessens, and your "depression" dissipates, you accept your new found freedom, logic and reason that you can apply to your life to craft conditions to make you confident, assured, happy and successful...without faith. You say to yourself with a smile..."I am an atheist".

You walk strongly down the path of knowledge, knowing you are free to be yourself, without the blindfold of faith and the stranglehold of eternal religious guilt.

Identifying the stages of grief is the key, don't resist them, don't try to speed them up, let the process flow naturally.....re-enforce your newfound wisdom with positive influences, podcasts, books, you-tube videos, watching GWG eviscerate a theist in the boxing ring.... Blink hehe...but seriously, embrace the processs, own it, make it yours.

Welcome to your new life....

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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20-02-2015, 10:59 AM
RE: Leaving and grieving (sorry, long)
(19-02-2015 02:16 PM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  Recognize it is a loss, and loss is dealt with by grief, and the stages of grief are..

1) Shock and denial. As you heard your inner voice say ...this is BS..and you fought that with complete denial, making excuses, trying to convince yourself that it just had to be true...

2) Pain and guilt. You feel guilty for not believing, the stronger your faith was, the stronger the pain.

3) Anger. The anger sets in, this IS all BS, they lied to me...I have wasted so much life on this lie..

4) Depression, reflection, loneliness. The loss of your faith sets in...you feel empty, alone.....this is the stage most falter on...and some return, just for the community, the feeling of belonging, not wanting to be "one of them"..you used to shake your head at atheists...now you may be one..

5) Acceptance. The upward turn. As you adjusted to life without your faith, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized, your thoughts clearer... Your pain lessens, and your "depression" dissipates, you accept your new found freedom, logic and reason that you can apply to your life to craft conditions to make you confident, assured, happy and successful...without faith. You say to yourself with a smile..."I am an atheist".

You walk strongly down the path of knowledge, knowing you are free to be yourself, without the blindfold of faith and the stranglehold of eternal religious guilt.

Identifying the stages of grief is the key, don't resist them, don't try to speed them up, let the process flow naturally.....re-enforce your newfound wisdom with positive influences, podcasts, books, you-tube videos, watching GWG eviscerate a theist in the boxing ring.... Blink hehe...but seriously, embrace the processs, own it, make it yours.

Welcome to your new life....
Thumbsup Outstanding post!
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