Legal humour
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06-02-2017, 02:13 AM
Legal humour
Wasn't sure what was an appropriate thread for this but... here's a fun website I just came across:

http://loweringthebar.net/

Some gems:
That Time I Turned a Routine Traffic Ticket into the Constitutional Trial of the Century

Utah Supreme Court Affirms a Woman’s Right to Sue Herself

Administration Fails to Secure Its Own Conference Room

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-02-2017, 05:54 AM
RE: Legal humour
I figured this would be for lawyer jokes.

....


Why won't a shark eat a lawyer?

Professional courtesy.


....

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in a couple million has a chance of becoming a human being.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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06-02-2017, 07:23 AM
RE: Legal humour
The traffic ticket story is actually a really important article.

It really is appalling to me how lightly many of our prosecutors and government officials take their constitutional duties and obligations. Undecided

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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06-02-2017, 08:33 AM
RE: Legal humour
I thought this was for lawyer jokes too. My bf's an attorney and I enjoy tormenting him with those types of things Laugh out load
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06-02-2017, 08:41 AM
RE: Legal humour
(06-02-2017 02:13 AM)morondog Wrote:  Wasn't sure what was an appropriate thread for this but... here's a fun website I just came across:

http://loweringthebar.net/

Some gems:
That Time I Turned a Routine Traffic Ticket into the Constitutional Trial of the Century

Utah Supreme Court Affirms a Woman’s Right to Sue Herself

Administration Fails to Secure Its Own Conference Room

I'm reading "Woman sues herself" now while I drink my coffee. Interesting read. Thanks for posting Smile
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06-02-2017, 08:45 AM (This post was last modified: 06-02-2017 09:56 AM by Shai Hulud.)
RE: Legal humour
Quote:That Time I Turned a Routine Traffic Ticket into the Constitutional Trial of the Century

A friend in New Jersey and her husband had to get a local news station involved to get their ticket dismissed, because they were part of a funeral procession and got red light camera'ed.

It was insane to read through that, because of the sheer amounts of idiocy involved on the part of the state. When you can't even understand there's a difference between civil and criminal law (something we cover in Crim 101), there's an issue. And also highly makes me doubt the City Attorney's law school's standards.

Edit: Something I just covered today in class ten minutes ago now.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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06-02-2017, 09:21 AM
RE: Legal humour
(06-02-2017 07:23 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  The traffic ticket story is actually a really important article.

It really is appalling to me how lightly many of our prosecutors and government officials take their constitutional duties and obligations. Undecided

What I like about the website I linked is that all the articles are real cases, and the guy explains the importance and reasoning behind all of them. Even the seemingly bizarre ones like the right to sue oneself - in that case someone was trying to get their insurance to pay out.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-02-2017, 12:21 PM
RE: Legal humour
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news."

"What’s the bad news?" asks the accused.

"The bad news is, your blood 
is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it."

"What’s the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is only 130."

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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06-02-2017, 03:51 PM
RE: Legal humour
Two guys decide that it'd be fun to try hot air ballooning. They have no experience, don't know how to steer, and can barely manage up and down. To make matters even worse, a thick fog comes up. One of them's pretty panicky and is looking out of the basket frantically shouting "Where are we?" The other is a little more level-headed and trying to keep them at what he thinks is a stable altitude.

All of a sudden a hill appears out of the fog, smack in front of them. The level-headed one hits the gas to try and avoid a collision. The panicky one notices a small, non-descript man in a non-descript grey suit on the top of the hill. "Where are we?" he shouts.

"You're in a balloon," replies the little grey man before they zip out of earshot.

"That was a lawyer," says the level-headed one.

"How do you know that?" asks his friend.

"Because everything he said was both perfectly true and utterly useless."

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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06-02-2017, 04:29 PM
RE: Legal humour
One of our candidates used to be a criminal defense lawyer. She once accidentally admitted her client's guilt in her opening statement.

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