Less than two weeks...
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27-10-2015, 09:22 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
Yeah I mean I expected the concern from her, so it's not so much that. Sure, if we'd had the money to do trips and see each other a few times before moving in together, that would have been a bit better, maybe, to have taken things a bit slower. But it just didn't work out that way, for a variety of reasons (not just money).

We got to know each other as best we could through Skype chats and all and I did my best to make sure he was who he said he was, and so far as I could see, things checked out. I wasn't being catfished or anything like that.

I don't know. I mean sure I probably should have told her about him sooner but I was living with her at the time and she would have made me miserable asking a million questions like I'm a child. In my opinion, she doesn't get to do that anymore. I'm 31 years old, ffs. But she would have asked a ton of questions and it would have just angered me because she thinks I'm an idiot or naive or whatever. And she is a manipulative person in her own way (like my ex, but in a different way than he was) so much of the time I feel she is just making plays for control. So it is nearly impossible to tell her anything. She is only happy with/for me if I am living my life just the way she wants me to and that is no kind of life. So in a way this is her fault because if she would make it easier to tell her things then maybe I would tell her some things. Or maybe not. I mostly want her to butt out. I don't feel that just because she is my parent that that means she has some kind of right to know everything about me or my life. Those rights, imo, ended when I turned 18.

She says she loves me, and I guess in her own twisted way she does, but I just don't love or trust her all that much in return. I wish my dad was still here. I would rather have him here than her. But who knows, maybe he would have given me even more shit than she is. Sometimes I wish she would just stop caring about me so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

I want her to stop trying to make me into this person she thinks I should be and just let me be who I am. But she just won't give it up. We had a decent talk a little while back after my dad died and she seemed like she might be coming around to being okay with me being different than my family, but it seems that was all for naught.

Ugh, change of topic. My ex is now giving me trouble as well. I feel bad for Rev because of this stupid drama but he isn't worried about it. By the way, we went somewhere with wifi last night and he read all of y'alls messages. We did forget to take pictures last night and this morning we said it was too damn early in the morning for pictures. Big Grin He made this salsa chicken stuff last night that was oh so good. ^__^ I brought some leftovers of it for lunch. Heart

So anyway, I am doing my best to keep my chin up in spite of things. Maybe a dick move on my part not to tell my mom but she's been a bitch about so many things, why should she get to know about anything in my life? She wants information so she can try and control me or guilt me into things, same as my ex did. She wrote me an e-mail today and said she was sorry she failed me as a mother. Dunno what that means and I don't really care. I am tired of her games and I really am thinking that once my children are grown and gone that the best thing is to just cut ties with her. They are all screwed up. All of them. And I know that I am also screwed up because she raised me - she was the primary caretaker.

Oh god I am rambling. I have so many mommy issues. I wish I myself was not a mom because I know I am screwing up my own kids somehow, just like my mom messed me up in her own way. I just try to back off and let my kids be who they are and try my damndest not too mess them up too badly. But I will. It totally unavoidable. I will influence my kids whether I want to or not.

Okay, jesus christ EA - stfu. Facepalm

Short version - I continue to have a shitty relationship with my mom and my ex-husband but I am keeping my chin up and goddammit I am still enjoying my time with Rev.

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27-10-2015, 09:31 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
(27-10-2015 07:36 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  It's probably statistically unlikely for internet romances to work.

But, fortunately for those involved -- statistics don't apply to individuals.

...

If it works for you, it works..

When I was 26, I went to a bar with some friends one Thursday night for the specific purpose of hooking up with this girl who did nails where I got my hair cut. A mutual friend told me she liked me and that she was easy. She was also pretty hot. Pretty much the ideal woman at that point of my life. Any way, turns out that 2nd year lawyers have to go home around the time that girls who give manicures think about first hitting the bar. So, due to incompatible schedules, it didn't happen.

But, I'm flexible and after I realized the manicurist may not show, I moved on. I started talking to this green eyes beauty, got her number, kissed her goodnight, and went home somewhat frustrated. Statistically, I should never have seen the green eyed girl again. This coming Monday we will be married for 18 years.

You never know.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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27-10-2015, 09:35 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
Oh EA...

Hug

I'm sorry your mom is being difficult -- as I said before that's her loss. You're not messing up your kids, you're setting a good example that everyone deserves to be happy. Smile

Things will calm down.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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27-10-2015, 10:18 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
(27-10-2015 07:36 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  It's probably statistically unlikely for internet romances to work.

But, fortunately for those involved -- statistics don't apply to individuals.

...

If it works for you, it works..

Fair's fair. Real-life romances are also statistically unlikely to work.
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27-10-2015, 10:27 AM
Less than two weeks...
I'm hoping EA & Revs stay on the happy side of the bell curve.
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27-10-2015, 10:46 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
Well it's quite easy. You are an adult. And you are able to make adult decisions on your own. If you aren't able to do so I'd have to say it's the fault of the parents for not doing their job well enough.
Will you make mistakes? Yes of course you will. There is not a single living adult who hasn't. And sure you'll might even make the same mistake more than once. Then again you might not. But what ever your mother thinks. Her job is now reduced to being there for you. Supporting your life decisions and be there to help pick you up if you should ever need that.

So fuck it. Celebrate love and live life. You deserve it.
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27-10-2015, 10:56 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
(27-10-2015 07:19 AM)Lightvader Wrote:  
(27-10-2015 06:57 AM)Dom Wrote:  I met a guy for 10 minutes at a computer swap some 33 years ago, and proceeded to talk with him via the internet - which at that time barely existed, there were "bulletin boards" which were private computers in homes running message board software. You could call in by putting your phone in a cradle and chat by typing, paying a per minute phone bill. We ended up talking and talking and talking until the phone bills became so ridiculous that he packed up his two dogs and moved in with me.

We got married til death did us part. Never regretted it for a moment. Yes, it can be dangerous meeting people over the internet, but it's done successfully all the time, too. And it's not as new as you might think. Big Grin

i know it's not new, i just would freak out if my kid did it. and i would probably never take suck a risk myself. maybe im just a pansy, but then i cant help it

It depends on the conversations that take place (like in real life) We got to know each other real well - we talked about everything and then some. For a couple of months, hours every day. I knew him a lot better than I would have had we met for dinner instead of online, the conversation went a lot deeper than dates tend to go.

So, it all depends ...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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27-10-2015, 11:00 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
(27-10-2015 10:56 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(27-10-2015 07:19 AM)Lightvader Wrote:  i know it's not new, i just would freak out if my kid did it. and i would probably never take suck a risk myself. maybe im just a pansy, but then i cant help it

It depends on the conversations that take place (like in real life) We got to know each other real well - we talked about everything and then some. For a couple of months, hours every day. I knew him a lot better than I would have had we met for dinner instead of online, the conversation went a lot deeper than dates tend to go.

So, it all depends ...

That very true Dom. I think you develop a level of intimacy with zomeone online that you can't really get with the physical stuff in the way.
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27-10-2015, 11:11 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
(27-10-2015 11:00 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  
(27-10-2015 10:56 AM)Dom Wrote:  It depends on the conversations that take place (like in real life) We got to know each other real well - we talked about everything and then some. For a couple of months, hours every day. I knew him a lot better than I would have had we met for dinner instead of online, the conversation went a lot deeper than dates tend to go.

So, it all depends ...

That very true Dom. I think you develop a level of intimacy with zomeone online that you can't really get with the physical stuff in the way.

That is one thing I have liked a lot about this as well. Yes As much as I wanted the physical stuff right away (and as much as I am enjoying it now Big Grin ) I am glad that we got to know each intellectually and emotionally before getting physical. I have the security of knowing that, even when we get older and the physical stuff starts to fade, we can still enjoy one another's company and love one another. Heart

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27-10-2015, 11:28 AM
RE: Less than two weeks...
This salsa chicken is sooooooooo good. ^__^ Be jealous, TTA'ers - be jealous. Hobo Tongue

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